Yes, it will be my pleasure to poke you!
But what if Dracula were written today?
Jonathan Harker's Twitter

WOOT! Transylvania will be awesome! Dude named Dracula texted me & I'm off! Luv u, @Mina_HotChick! ♥ ♥ ♥!!!!

On train thru Carpathian Mts. Peasant women here look pretty except when u get near them, they all look like actor Jonah Hill in a babushka!

Frightened old lady in hotel heard me talk of Dracula and put crucifix around my neck! WTF? #DontTellRabbiMishkin

On coach to Borgo Pass. Odd; other passengers outdoing one another pointing at me, clutching throats, & making gagging sounds! Woohoo!

Have arrived at crumbling old Castle Dracula. Place could use work. Nothing that a coat of paint & 6 wrecking balls couldn't cure! #WhataDump

Starting to think visiting Dracula may turn out to be as much fun as attending same-sex wedding w/ Justice Scalia! :-( :-( :-(
Dracula's Twitter

Dracula@Fangsalot46
I am @Fangsalot46. I tweet you welcome, @HarkMan! #SpidertotheFly

Woohoo, I luv Twitter! I have over 17,000 followers. Of course, most of them follow me with torches, pitchforks, and pickaxes! LOL!!! :-)

Dracula@Fangsalot46
How about giving me a retweet on that one, @HarkMan? I get more RTs than Kim Kardashian's bare ass ever did! #AskTheNearestZombie

Dracula@Fangsalot46
WOOT! The Childen of the Night; What music they make! Wait, I'm sensing a boy band here .... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backstreet_Boys

Dracula@Fangsalot46
Make yourself at home,@HarkMan! Tomorrow there will be breakfast, and since this is Twitter, with bacon & copious amounts of coffee!

Dracula@Fangsalot46
No, I never drink .... coffee. Just sayin' .

I bid you good night, @HarkMan. Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite. That's my job! LMFAO! #WannaNeck?
Jonathan Harker's Facebook

Dearest Mina. I must now communicate via Facebook because the Count is a Tweethead! What's worse, he LOLs his own jokes and insists I give him RTs! Dracula is a bizarre diseased creature who recoils at the sight of a crucifix, casts no reflection in a mirror, and roots for the Phillies! Oh, Mina, please comfort me by posting a picture of Pedals, our adorable kitten!
Mina Murray's Facebook
Jonathan Harker's Facebook

Jonathan Harker
Mina, remind me when I get back we have to talk about our relationship!
Dracula's Facebook
So you are on Facebook too, my dear young sir? Please friend me, then I will poke you. Believe me, I will poke you!!! (And Go, Phils!)
Jonathan Harker's LinkedIn
Current Position:Solicitor (Living)
Next Position: Solicitor (?)Mina, the count is an ardent Facebooker too! I must now communicate through LinkedIn. Nobody but nobody uses LinkedIn, especially people who want to get a job.
Dracula's LinkedIn

Previous Position: Sucking the Blood of Crusaders
Current Position: Free Lance Blood Sucker (No, not an attorney)
Good Evening, Mr. Harker! Note that I have already endorsed you for European travel, real estate development, and Deliciousness! I am afraid you are out of luck now with social networks, unless you want to use JDate!
Jonathan Harker's Twitter

@Mina_HotChick! Had a tete a tete w/ the Count & all is fine. You will be a bite ... I mean, sight ... for sore eyes! Luv u! ♥ ♥ ♥!!!! #WannaNeck?
End.