DONALD J. TRUMP ILLEGAL ALIEN
HUMANE PROTECTIVE CUSTODY
AND PARENT-CHILD REUNITING SERVICES
(Translated from the Original Spanish)
Dear Illegal Alien:
You have recently utilized the services of the Donald J. Trump Illegal Alien Humane Protective Custody and Parent-Child Reuniting Services (“Donald J. Trump”). Thank you for choosing Donald J. Trump.
In order to help us continue to deliver excellent services to illegal aliens from shithole countries around the world like you, we would appreciate your taking a few moments to complete the survey below.
Thank you for your cooperation!
Circle the answer to the following questions most applicable to you and your child or children.
1) Please indicate your country of origin, using five (5) sentences to provide your answer.
Why did you illegally bring your child or children to the
a) To spruce up bogus asylum claim.
b) Cost of tuba lessons prohibitive in Guatemala.
c) Just couldn’t shake ‘em!
d) You expect me to carry all that gear myself?
5) Rate your level of satisfaction with Donald J. Trump Humane Protective Custody Services as required by the heartless Child Separation Laws of the Obama Administration which Donald J Trump had nothing to do with.
a) Extremely Satisfied. Child’s cage was plush and well appointed.
b) Highly Satisfied. Children got to visit New York City!
c) Very Satisfied. Children got to meet and play with other children similarly scarred for life.
d) Satisfied. Peace and quiet at last!
6) Rate your level of satisfaction with Donald J. Trump Parent-Child Reuniting Services.
a) Extremely Satisfied. Child was returned by deadline in excellent health despite having totally forgotten about me.
b) Highly Satisfied. Child was returned by deadline although new daughter was returned in place of son. But she’s adorable!
c) Very Satisfied. C
7) W to provide you with Humane Protective Custody and Parent-Child Reuniting Services?
Donald J. Trump Illegal Alien Humane Protective Custody and Parent-Child Reuniting Services