And the
nominees for Best Picture for 2016 are:
- · Birth of a Superhero; Jar Opening Guy
- · Magnolias for Marybeth
- · Love, Look at the Three of Us
- · Contact: a Story of Phlegm
and
- · Presidential Psychopath,
And the Winner
is:
Great Applause
Accepting the
Award for Presidential Psychopath is
the Star and Co-writer, Donald J. Trump:
“Thank you everyone,
this is just AMAZING!
Exactly two
years ago I conceived of the idea that I could do an amazing service for the
American people by showing them how readily a demagogue could come to power in
this country. After all, I’ve
been lucky to make some money in this amazing country, and this would represent
my chance to give back.
So I put
together the concept for Presidential Psychopath
with the amazing theme of someone well known in America with a dash of
charisma achieving political power --- even becoming President of the United States
--- although he is amazingly depraved, deplorable and damnable in every way. It’s
happened in other countries and it could happen here in this amazing country unless we are amazingly vigilant.
Now I needed
someone to fit the bill for the lead character. I guess I’ve been a little
guilty of immodesty in the past in putting my name on buildings and such, and I
thought to use that amazing but regrettable trait --- and I am in therapy to correct
it --- to show how the main character is familiar to the public before he begins
his nefarious and amazing drive to the Presidency.
So after a
lot of amazing coaxing by my family and liberal Hollywood friends I agreed to play the lead
character. I’m no actor … I hope ... I hope I wasn't too short of amazing in the role ... was I?
Encouraging Audience Applause
I want to
thank so many people who helped make Presidential
Psychopath such an amazing success:
Thank you, Dr.
Ben Carson, for pretending to be a clueless loser so I could ridicule you right
from the start of the campaign to establish fictional Trump’s amazing pattern of name-calling;
Megyn Kelley --- dear sweet Megyn Kelly --- for putting up with so much offensive
invective; Megyn, you are an amazing class act all the way!; all the other
Republican candidates for playing their parts so amazingly well and agreeing to sacrifice their campaigns in order to make Presidential Psychopath
happen so amazingly. And I cannot forget to thank the
members the press for not questioning the character’s amazingly vast store of
lies and hypocrisies until it was too late.
I mean, Trump
University? Really? Can you believe what
an amazing moron I am sometimes?
I want to
thank our amazing writers; I wrote very
little, they did it all: for the early funny segments, Tina Fey, Amy
Pohler with contributions by the amazing Woody Allen, and the writers of the later darker segments --- including all those terrible lies and slanders --- the amazing Coen Brothers and Quentin Tarantino.
They are all amazing writers!
And of course, you
cannot say enough about our amazing director Alejandro G.
Iñárritu!
Three straight
wins, Alejandro! Amazing! And Bravo Mexico!
Amazing Applause
and Cheers
Next, I
don’t want to forget to thank my amazing friends and business associates, too numerous
to mention, my agent Herbert Lipschutz, and my amazing wives, also too numerous to
mention.
And finally, thank you to the American
people ---I love you all! --- for contributing the ending of Presidential Psychopath in which all of you amazing people catch on to
the maniacal plans of the fictionalized Trump just before March 15, 2016, and 300 million people rise up to beat the amazing daylights out of him!
And oh yes, one
more thing.
The only
thing that was true about my bogus campaign?
I do have one AMAZING dick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: Donald Trump says "amazing" a lot.