Now's the Time to Say Goodbye

I think it may be the time to put the wraps on my blog Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute.   I've advanced the character (the fictionalized me) about as far as I can after almost 900 posts, a pretty good sign it's time to call it quits. If anyone is interested in what happens to Perry Block,  it's really all in my book by the same name (Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute) which takes the character through a significant part of his Baby Boomer life more or less to the current day.

As I've said in the past, Perry Block in the blog is not the same as I am.  Though unconfident, he's more confident than I am, certainly more freewheeling, and - unlike me -  somewhat conniving. It's odd, but now that it's over, I have to say that 

I kind of miss him.

Go figure.

Anyway, to the degree I may write Parodies or Satires in the future unrelated to "Perry Block,"  they will be on various websites throughout the web, and maybe I'll post some of them here.  Two fairly recent ones on Slackjaw are:

The Book of Genesis as Condensed and Revised for Humanists

How to Work Effectively from Your Home Office When Godzilla Attacks 

I'd like to thank all those who have read my blog over all these years and told me they liked it, and even if they didn't too.  I appreciate you all.

If you are a Baby Boomer, do your best to enjoy these not necessarily inherently enjoyable years. Don't let anyone refer to you as a "Senior."  You are a Boomer! Any age-descriptive name is bogus and unnecessary.

To the best degree you can, don't leave anything on the table. Go after what you want even if you have to go out of your Comfort Zone to get it.  And if you don't have someone to wrap your arms around at night, do everything you can to find that someone as soon as possible.

I think that might be the most important thing I have to say of all.

And if you're  younger, be you Millennial or Gen X, enjoy your young years. They go fast. Before long, you'll be avoiding mirrors like a vampire just like we do.

Got that, mother-fuckers?

Take care, everyone. Be good, but not too good.  

Bye-Bye, all.

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Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute

Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute

Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute
 The Book

by Perry Block

I may dig a pygmy, but these folks dig
Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute:

"Perry has the wit, wisdom, voice timbre and cadence of a young Dick Cavett. (To call Perry a "young" anything is my gift to Perry.) I knew this about Mr. Block 40 years ago when we first met. And his writing reconfirms it." - Andy Cowan, comedy writer for Seinfeld (including the iconic episode The Opposite), Cheers, 3rd Rock from the Sun, and more, and author of the comedy memoir Banging My Head Against the Wall: A Comedy Writer's Guide to Seeing Stars, foreword by Jay Leno.

"This book was totally relatable, funny, and yes, really poignant ... I appreciate Perry's wit and fight. He's not going gently into that good night. Neither am I. Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute is a great read!" - Michele Young-Stone, Simon & Schuster published author of The Handbook of Lightning Strike Survivors, Above Us Only Sky, and Lost in the Beehive (selected by Oprah's Book Club) 

  

“Perry Block offers up his ideas about advancing age in a funny and clever series of delightful musings … Perry brings his wit and wisdom to some everyday situations which will guarantee that you'll not only relate, but you'll be laughing out loud… By all means, buy it, read it, laugh out loud, and enjoy." - Joy Ross Davis, author ofEmalyn's Treasure, The Devereaux Jewel, Mother, Can You Hear Me?, and more.

“Perry Block has gathered a collection of his hilarious articles and essays on the joys of being a Boomer in the 21st century. He takes his readers along a desperate path of trying to turn back the clock. Seriously, you will laugh until your sides ache.”- K.D. McCrite, author of the Confessions of April Grace and Further Confessions of April Grace series of books, and more.

“A funny (often laugh out loud funny) charmingly self-deprecating series of short pieces about aging, modern culture, pop culture then and now, and an eclectic variety of other topics … I felt like I got to know the author (who would likely make a highly entertaining dinner companion) while I read. Really enjoyable." - Debra Snider, author of Lost Wyoming, A Merger of Equals, and more.

"Perry Block hates cheese.  If that’s not enough reason to read this collection of humorous essays chronicling the inevitable life of an aging 67 year-old Baby Boomer then I don’t know what is. Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute is a laugh-out-loud cautionary tale about not taking creeping old age lying down (unless it’s nap time)."- Don Holley, screenwriter of National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon and author of Half-Loaded: A Humorous Hollywood Memoir.   

Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute
  The Book

Like you, Perry Block is a Baby Boomer who turned around one day in 1978 and suddenly found himself 40 years later at an age he always thought was exclusively reserved for people’s parents. 

Through a series of often hilarious essays, Perry tries to make sense of it all, aided by his son Brandon and a host of other real and fictitious characters, including Batman, Cupid, the Legendary Jewish Vampire Vlad the Retailer, Richard Nixon, Moses, and more. 

Every Boomer concern is here - aging angst, fatherhood, the singles life, friendships, fading looks and physicality, social trends, the1960’s, drugs, religion, Judaism, the writing life, parody and satire, self-deprecation, and the nagging worry that not only has he measured his life in coffee spoons, frequently the coffee hasn’t even been hot.

Available at Amazon & Barnes & Noble

Now also Available at the 
Narberth Bookshop in Narberth PA
in
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I'm Ready for My Close-up, Mr. DeMillions of Readers

Perry's Interview is clickable here.

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You Can Also Follow Perry On
Twitter and Facebook

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God Friended Me

 

OMG! Look at this!

“What?”

“God just friended me!"`  

“Oh, come on!  I just about barely friend you.”

“Yeah, why is that?”  

“Uhh --- I have standards.”

“Nevertheless, God just friended me!”

“Let me see …. Wow you’re right!"

“Of course I’m right! Look at the mighty beard, look at that celestial glow, look at those white robes washed in Clorox!”

“Bet he could work a terrific miracle, like turn Facebook into not a huge waste of time.”

“I told you!”

“And boy does he look Jewish! Well, let’s see what he wants”

“No way. I’m not friending him!”

“Why not?

“Why not?!"

“Yeah, why not?”

“The Holocaust, World Wars I and II, the Crusades, hurricanes, infant mortality, the Inquisition, AIDs, death itself, ABBA …”

“Know what?  You’re right!”

“I’m deleting him right now!”

“But then….there’ll be no TV show.”

“Yep, and there’s your real miracle.”

“What?"

“One less annoying television show to waste our time with.”

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Oh, Wouldn't That Be Neighborly!

I like to be neighborly. 

 Especially when new neighbors move in and you want to make a nice impression in the hopes you and they might become good friends.

“Hi, Perry,” said new neighbor Jane Buxbaum standing at my doorway early one evening.

“Jane!” I exclaimed,” good to see you.  Come in.”

“I’d love to,“ she replied,” but I can’t right now. I wanted to ask you if you have a corkscrew we can borrow?”

“Of course I do,” I said, going to the kitchen, securing it and handing it to her.  

“And you need not be in any hurry to give it back either,” I said.

 I knew Jane and her husband Tom were just setting up housekeeping so I understood they may lacking in some household essentials.

 A couple of days later, husband Tom was at the door.

“Hey, Perry, Jane and I are making soup today.  Wonder if I can borrow a large pot, a stirring spoon, whatever appropriate seasonings you have, and a tureen?”

Well, why not?  Anything to be neighborly.

And about the corkscrew that Tom was clearly not returning while borrowing the large pot, stirring spoon, whatever seasonings I had, and the tureen … well, I did tell Jane not to be in a hurry to give it back.

“Here ya go, Tom,” I said, gathering everything up.  “No rush getting these back.”

“Perry!  Thanks for all your great help.”  

Next day both of them were back at my door.

“Oh, you guys!” I said.  “I told you there was no rush in giving the corkscrew, soup pot, stirring spoon, seasonings, and tureen back.”

“Oh, yes, we know that and we thank you,” gushed Jane.

“But that’s not why we’re here,” Tom said.

“No?”

“We’re having both of our families over for dinner tonight.”

 “How lovely.”

“So … may we borrow your dining room table, please?”

“Excuse me?”

“Your dining room table.   Here, I’ll help you lift it.”

“But …. But…”

“We may have to take off the legs to get it through the doorway," said Tom, "but never fear.  I brought a saw and I have glue at home.”

Over the next several days the Buxbaums were frequently at my door.  And out my door and over to the Buxbaums went all the furniture in the living room, my pool table, and the powder room toilet.

I had to face it. People do sometimes take advantage of me.  I have to watch for that from now on.

I decided to start right away.

I marched over to the Buxbaums’s house.

“Jane, Tom,” I said in a strong tone of voice.

“Yes, neighbor?” Tom replied.

“I want my corkscrew back and I want it right now!”

You know what? They returned the corkscrew forthwith! 

Being assertive works.   No doubt about it.

It’s two months later.  I am living in a tent in my back yard.  It’s cold and muddy and I could use a shower and a hot meal.

I’m not the best at being assertive, no doubt about it.

But at being neighborly? 

I’m the best!

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P.S. If you liked this post, you'll love my book Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute.  If you hated this post, you'll still love my book Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute.  

Why?   That's just the way it works!