I like to be neighborly.
Especially when
new neighbors move in and you want to make a nice impression in the hopes you
and they might become good friends.
“Hi, Perry,” said new neighbor Jane Buxbaum standing
at my doorway early one evening.
“Jane!” I exclaimed,” good to see you. Come in.”
“I’d love to,“ she replied,” but I can’t right now. I
wanted to ask you if you have a corkscrew we can borrow?”
“Of course I do,” I said, going to the kitchen,
securing it and handing it to her.
I knew Jane and
her husband Tom were just setting up housekeeping so I understood they may
lacking in some household essentials.
A couple of days
later, husband Tom was at the door.
“Hey, Perry, Jane and I are making soup today. Wonder if I can borrow a large pot, a stirring
spoon, whatever appropriate seasonings you have, and a tureen?”
Well, why not?
Anything to be neighborly.
And about the corkscrew that Tom was clearly not returning while borrowing the large
pot, stirring spoon, whatever seasonings I had, and the tureen … well, I did
tell Jane not to be in a hurry to give it back.
“Here ya go, Tom,” I said, gathering everything up. “No rush getting these back.”
“Perry! Thanks
for all your great help.”
Next day both of them were back at my door.
“Oh, you guys!” I said. “I told you there was no rush in giving the corkscrew,
soup pot, stirring spoon, seasonings, and tureen back.”
“Oh, yes, we know that and we thank you,” gushed Jane.
“But that’s not why we’re here,” Tom said.
“No?”
“We’re having both of our families over for dinner
tonight.”
“How lovely.”
“So … may we borrow your dining room table, please?”
“Excuse me?”
“Your dining room table. Here, I’ll help you lift it.”
“But …. But…”
“We may have to
take off the legs to get it through the doorway," said Tom, "but never fear. I brought a saw and I have glue at home.”
Over the next several days the Buxbaums were frequently
at my door. And out my door and over to the
Buxbaums went all the furniture in the living room, my pool table, and the powder
room toilet.
I had to face it. People do sometimes take advantage
of me. I have to watch for that from now
on.
I decided to start right away.
I marched over to the Buxbaums’s house.
“Jane, Tom,” I said in a strong tone of voice.
“Yes, neighbor?” Tom replied.
“I want my corkscrew back and I want it right now!”
You know what? They returned the corkscrew
forthwith!
Being assertive works. No doubt about it.
It’s two months later.
I am living in a tent in my back yard.
It’s cold and muddy and I could use a shower and a hot meal.
I’m not the best at being assertive, no doubt about
it.
But at being neighborly?
I’m the best!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S. If you liked this post, you'll love my book Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute. If you hated this post, you'll still love my book Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute.
Why? That's just the way it works!
