tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48925104361992552672024-03-05T02:05:34.986-05:00Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly CuteOne Baby Boomer humorist desperately trying to turn back the clock through parody, satire, & anything else you want.Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.comBlogger911125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-70850184128667644602023-10-11T13:03:00.000-04:002023-10-11T13:03:11.984-04:00Life's Little Pleasures 2023<p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhArUH2XzDCbKtS2BTjpOUyWFqxUmcGgne55V7DfdpqAijYcsM8wretjw-TuCo0zCwvgRT340MgzVKowd98G-f5vXAD4-Rji6Q0dyu8MoUOe_W_Zt58le-wBY5lnsOWlW3ulA0OeOO8aVGsLR6W-4SFlLVVgzHadLVhucoZcNibB0DuPkSv5zD_yIAJ9vlA" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1500" height="331" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhArUH2XzDCbKtS2BTjpOUyWFqxUmcGgne55V7DfdpqAijYcsM8wretjw-TuCo0zCwvgRT340MgzVKowd98G-f5vXAD4-Rji6Q0dyu8MoUOe_W_Zt58le-wBY5lnsOWlW3ulA0OeOO8aVGsLR6W-4SFlLVVgzHadLVhucoZcNibB0DuPkSv5zD_yIAJ9vlA=w498-h331" width="498" /></a></div></div></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><span style="font-family: times;"><span face="Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span face="verdana, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><i><b>I've frequently been accused of being sort of a negative person, </b></i>but that is totally ridiculous, stupid, and as completely wrong as a thought can be and anyone who thinks it is an idiot not worth associating with.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333;" /><span face="verdana, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><br />Okay, it's true. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333;" /><span face="verdana, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"></span><span face="verdana, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">But there are some things that I do enjoy, things that I refer to as <i>Life's Little Pleasures</i>, which<i> </i>include:</span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333;" /><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -43px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Discovering it’s safe to say "fuck" around a new friend.</span></span></span></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;">Popping all the large round bubbles in one of those sheets of plastic wrapping stuff that just came to me in a package and then finding an extra sheet of that stuff in the packaging I hadn't noticed before <i>all ready to pop!</i> </span></li><li><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: x-large; text-indent: -43px;">A stimulating intellectual conversation into which I've been able to insert the word "throbbing" at least twice.</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: -43px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Sitting by the shore watching the waves roll in and out on a beautiful summer's day. </span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span face="verdana, sans-serif" style="text-indent: -43px;">Successfully opening one of those goddamn clear plastic produce bags </span><span face="verdana, sans-serif" style="text-indent: -43px;">on the very first try!</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: -43px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Being smiled at by an attractive woman as I walk down the street even if it's only because there's toilet paper stuck to my shoe.</span></span></li><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">A great cup of coffee that you didn’t expect in a shitty restaurant.</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span face="verdana, sans-serif"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large; text-indent: -21.9pt;">Getting up extremely early for a special purpose, like going on vacation or a special trip, and thinking how good it feels to be utilizing and experiencing these precious morning hours when normally I wouldn't even be close to getting up. Then going back to bed.</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="text-indent: -43px;">Waving</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> someone into the lane ahead of me, seeing the other person smile broadly, look very appreciative, and wave back. Then ramming them!</span><span style="text-indent: -32.25pt;"> (Just kiddin.')</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Running into someone I haven't seen in a long time and falsely gushing about how good he looks and when <i>he doesn't return the compliment after numerous tries to lead him straight into it </i>watching a bird take a big dump right on his head.</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-size: x-large; text-indent: -43px;">Any time I get to use the word "mercurial." </span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Meeting someone new and finding out that we both know someone in common and after further conversation finding out that we both think the person we know in common<i style="font-weight: bold;"> </i><i>is an <span style="font-weight: bold;">asshole! </span></i></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Walking in a deep soft snow late at night when no one else is around and running into someone else doing the same as you. </span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: -32.25pt;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Finding a pair of jeans that fits really well in the rear because I have such a tiny butt if I were to fall really hard on my ass I would probably die.</span></span></li><li><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Watching the really awful bad g</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">uy I've hated all through the movie suffer a truly gruesome, painful, horrible d</span><span style="text-indent: -24px;">eath</span><span style="text-indent: -24px;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">while screaming "<b><i>AHHHHHHH!!!,"</i></b> even if the movie otherwise sucked and even if I feel guilty about feeling that way later.</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: -32.25pt;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Watching two or three small bunnies cavorting on my lawn.</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: -32.25pt;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Me cavorting on my lawn with two or three small bunnies.</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large; text-indent: -32.25pt;">Getting lost in a good book, especially if each and every way out of being lost goes past a sex scene.</span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: -32.25pt;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">A day without spilling, were I ever to have one.</span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="text-indent: -21.9pt;">Hearing someone who </span><span style="text-indent: -21.9pt;">is sort of a jerk</span><span style="text-indent: -21.9pt;"> use a word like “irregardless,” and when I very nicely correct him he expresses the obnoxious and condescending opinion that he knows he is right and I am obviously wrong and savoring the glorious thought of the person looking it up later and saying aloud </span><span style="text-indent: -21.9pt;"><i>“oh, shit!"<b> </b></i></span></span></li><li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> The Oxford Comma.<b> </b>It is always right, just and appropriate.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b> </b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">Being caught up and fully up to date in a project, assignment, or major task you’re doing.</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Yeah, like that's<i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"> really </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">going to happen …</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"> </b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">Learning a new word and shortly afterwards reading it or hearing it used a number of additional times and finding it amazing that you had never heard that word before in your entire life, and now it seems to be </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">everywhere!</i></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Anticipating Trump's imprisonment.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;">Feeling yourself genuinely affected with emotion at hearing unhappy news or watching a sad story on television and thinking “gee, maybe I’m not such a self-absorbed, vacuous waste of an unfeeling human being as I thought I was after all!” </span></li><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: x-large; text-indent: -0.25in;">Sharing a box of popcorn with somebody with whom you feel close enough to eat out of the same box of popcorn with. (But no way buttered!)</span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: times; text-indent: -24px;"><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span><span style="color: #333333; text-indent: -6px;">Being asked by a friend to read something they have written and after you read it being able to tell them that you </span><i style="color: #333333; text-indent: -6px;">truly </i><span style="color: #333333; text-indent: -6px;">liked it without having to lie! Or maybe just a teeny bit.</span></span></li><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: 9pt;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Finding an interesting coin from another country in your change.</span></span></li><li><span style="color: #333333; text-indent: -27pt;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Completing all of the items on your “To Do” List.</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">Yeah, like that's</span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"> really </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">going to happen …</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"> The first day you finally feel you are pretty much over your cold.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"> </b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">Being in a room full of hundreds of people at a conference and even though you feel apprehensive about speaking in a group that large, raising your hand and asking a question and hearing the speaker say “</span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">that’s a <b><span>GREAT </span></b>question!”</i></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Fantasizing about living in another period of time like the Middle Ages but still possessing your current knowledge, sophistication, and liberal views, so you are considered “ahead of your time.” And not getting burned at the stake for it.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">Having an opportunity to obtain a celebrity’s autograph and selfie and despite feeling reticent about it, going up to the celebrity, finding them to be friendly, and getting the autograph and selfie. That is, if you're not too old or goofy looking to be intimidated by having a picture taken with somebody that </span><i style="color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"><b>way </b></i><span style="color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">better looking than you. </span></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">Needing gas on a day that’s very cold and being in New Jersey where by law there’s an attendant t</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">o</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"> pump it for you and you don't have to get out of the car or do a damn thing!</span></span></li><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Successfully parallel parking in a narrow space without scraping your tires, banging the car in front and/or behind you, or running over innocent bystanders.</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;">Having a friend of the opposite sex with whom you feel as close to as a friend of your own sex.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Anybody's smile. </span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;">Any items on this list about which we have written ”yeah, like that's<i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;"> really </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-indent: -24px;">going to happen” actually happening.</span></span></li></ol><div style="text-indent: -24px;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: x-large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div></span><div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: normal; margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: normal; margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-21714396861661490252023-10-01T18:47:00.000-04:002023-10-01T18:47:23.874-04:00Thirty Failed Pick Up Lines Baby Boomers Have Tried With Millennials<p><b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></b></p><p><b><span style="font-size: large;"></span></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEirPg0CQJBMNEoapKNzkXdVjZwSMXXfJ4bW0pbh2RsVzfIKmiT_l6q_5WDl0kjJVxGnXRTFbRp-f70g4fNRH4ScRg-oljVLQ6Wg3-IWB2yYSKEVbXBCYNf5i9FEFf8g4rXJ6yJBeoTbMiaillvcYEG93mph4vTLSG6p9BuZFwYRgPmgWs1WFjHWJPKbKR4J" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="610" data-original-width="828" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEirPg0CQJBMNEoapKNzkXdVjZwSMXXfJ4bW0pbh2RsVzfIKmiT_l6q_5WDl0kjJVxGnXRTFbRp-f70g4fNRH4ScRg-oljVLQ6Wg3-IWB2yYSKEVbXBCYNf5i9FEFf8g4rXJ6yJBeoTbMiaillvcYEG93mph4vTLSG6p9BuZFwYRgPmgWs1WFjHWJPKbKR4J=w385-h284" width="385" /></a></span></b></div><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><br /></span></b><p></p><p><b><span face="source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif" style="background-color: white; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>1. Can you believe I have a granddaughter your age?</i></span></span></b></p><p><span face="source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif" style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: times; font-size: large; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"> 2. Oh yes, I think the Weeknd is one of the best groups around.</span></p><p><span face="source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif" style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: times; font-size: large; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"> 3. Do you know Jim Morrison would be older than I am if he were alive?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: times; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-size: large;"> 4. “You say goodbye, I say hello.”</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"> 5. Let’s go someplace more comfortable. Like the Emergency Room.</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"> 6. We used to say “far out” back in the day. Now it’s my belt size. That’s a joke!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: times; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"> 7. Want to</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, Times New Roman, Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"> hear my Dwight David Eisenhower impression?</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-size: large;"> 8. My wife didn’t understand me. While she was alive, that is.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.048px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em;">9. Super Bowl III. Now </span><em class="xs" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em;">that</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"> was a Super Bowl!</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: x-large; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-size: large;">10. Can you explain to me exactly what a meme is?</span></span></p><div class="rn ro rp rq rr l" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); margin-bottom: 68px;"><article style="box-sizing: inherit;"><div class="l" style="box-sizing: inherit;"><div class="l" style="box-sizing: inherit;"><section style="box-sizing: inherit;"><div style="box-sizing: inherit;"><div class="fq fy rz sa sb" style="box-sizing: inherit; overflow-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-word;"><div class="ab cm" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: flex; justify-content: center;"><div class="gu bg gv gw gx gy" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px 24px; max-width: 680px; min-width: 0px; width: 680px;"><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="767b" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">11. It’s called a turkey neck. Wanna touch?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="20d6" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">12. Wolf Blitzer: He just speaks to me.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="45f0" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">13. So, I said to my ex “Bye, bye Miss American Pie!”</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="b04e" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">14. Do you like Steely Dan?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="e3e2" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">15. Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like Lana Turner?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c762" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">16. Yes, I remember the 60’s well. Now that I’m 70. Yes, that’s a joke too!</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="04a4" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">17. Ever hear of the Strawberry Alarm Clock?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4fd0" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">18. Can you fathom how people can mark up their bodies with tattoos?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="2429" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">19. Can you believe some people don’t know the difference between Peter and Gordon and Chad and Jeremy?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="20a5" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">20. Who doesn’t love seersucker?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cf5e" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">21. For my money, the best comedian ever was <b><i>Mr. Don Rickles!</i></b></span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="70f8" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">22. Wanna know what’s a really good Medicare Supplemental Benefits Plan?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="8fea" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">23. I think the only really big star to come out of SNL was Chevy Chase.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="956d" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">24. Did you know Beaver and Wally are on Me TV?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="dcad" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">25. Do you like the Stooges?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="1124" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">26. Laugh if you want, those discount meals at IHOP are really good!</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="77f1" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">27. Wanna see my neat collection of tie-dyed shirts from the 60’s?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="ece5" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">28. Can I buy you a drink? A Shirley Temple? That’s another joke.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c782" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">29. Would you believe I started the day with a colonoscopy?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="7123" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">30. Trump? Oh, he’s not so bad.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph wy wz sm ma b xa xb xc xd xe xf xg xh lk xi xj xk lp xl xm xn lu xo xp xq xr fq bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="7123" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></p></div></div></div></div></section></div></div></article><div class="ab cm" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: flex; font-family: medium-content-sans-serif-font, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Open Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; justify-content: center;"><div class="gu bg gv gw gx gy" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px 24px; max-width: 680px; min-width: 0px; width: 680px;"></div></div></div><div class="ab cm" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); display: flex; font-family: medium-content-sans-serif-font, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Open Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; justify-content: center;"><div class="gu bg gv gw gx gy" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px 24px; max-width: 680px; min-width: 0px; width: 680px;"><div class="abq abr ab gq" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; margin-bottom: 26px; margin-top: 6px;"><div class="abs ab" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: flex; margin-top: 8px;"><a class="abp ax am ao" href="https://medium.com/tag/boomers?source=post_page-----e72ba709dda6---------------boomers-----------------" rel="noopener follow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: none; box-sizing: inherit; cursor: pointer; margin-right: 8px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;"><div class="gb dj fg nf ng nh ni be b bf z bj nj" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; border-radius: 100px; border: 1px solid rgb(242, 242, 242); box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; padding: 8px 16px; position: relative; text-wrap: nowrap; transition: background 300ms ease 0s;">Boomers</div></a></div><div class="abs ab" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: flex; margin-top: 8px;"><a class="abp ax am ao" href="https://medium.com/tag/millennials?source=post_page-----e72ba709dda6---------------millennials-----------------" rel="noopener follow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: none; box-sizing: inherit; cursor: pointer; margin-right: 8px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;"><div class="gb dj fg nf ng nh ni be b bf z bj nj" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; border-radius: 100px; border: 1px solid rgb(242, 242, 242); box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; padding: 8px 16px; position: relative; text-wrap: nowrap; transition: background 300ms ease 0s;">Millennials</div></a></div><div class="abs ab" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: flex; margin-top: 8px;"><a class="abp ax am ao" href="https://medium.com/tag/pickup-lines?source=post_page-----e72ba709dda6---------------pickup_lines-----------------" rel="noopener follow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: none; box-sizing: inherit; cursor: pointer; margin-right: 8px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;"><div class="gb dj fg nf ng nh ni be b bf z bj nj" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; border-radius: 100px; border: 1px solid rgb(242, 242, 242); box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; padding: 8px 16px; position: relative; text-wrap: nowrap; transition: background 300ms ease 0s;">Pickup Lines</div></a></div><div class="abs ab" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: flex; margin-top: 8px;"><a class="abp ax am ao" href="https://medium.com/tag/ok-boomers?source=post_page-----e72ba709dda6---------------ok_boomers-----------------" rel="noopener follow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border: none; box-sizing: inherit; cursor: pointer; margin-right: 8px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;"><div class="gb dj fg nf ng nh ni be b bf z bj nj" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; border-radius: 100px; border: 1px solid rgb(242, 242, 242); box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; padding: 8px 16px; position: relative; text-wrap: nowrap; transition: background 300ms ease 0s;">Ok Boomers</div></a></div></div></div></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-43600837780282694152023-09-29T15:04:00.015-04:002023-10-06T19:39:38.610-04:00"This Call Will Be Monitored for Quality Assurance:" Now You Finally Learn What That Actually Means!<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitaRXNELsoWeDYHEob1_HFKIeaCj18qTL0XmKu6Mykwy7OaB-_ise9dlCgRg7Q7eBQBdNpekqSIUWLgYs3lkBV0MP1XmZvK2bn7LIgDyO2ON0SmPHoOrCnGxlUFmREikGJP2ZcBMEL8slRImaD0SDPnlPR34cFLlDgxb0hj6PuXod0_pJmfGUsISWWz_yD" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitaRXNELsoWeDYHEob1_HFKIeaCj18qTL0XmKu6Mykwy7OaB-_ise9dlCgRg7Q7eBQBdNpekqSIUWLgYs3lkBV0MP1XmZvK2bn7LIgDyO2ON0SmPHoOrCnGxlUFmREikGJP2ZcBMEL8slRImaD0SDPnlPR34cFLlDgxb0hj6PuXod0_pJmfGUsISWWz_yD=w363-h242" width="363" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><b>A Call Center for Quality Assurance</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i>"Not sure this guy has suffficient quality for us to talk to him."</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">"This call will be monitored for quality assurance</span></i></b><span><span style="font-size: x-large;">." </span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;">Yes, I've heard this message on the phone many times. I naively thought it meant that someone was listening in on the call to determine if the person </span><span style="font-family: times;">handling the call for the company did so with requisite quality to handle the call well.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i><b>I was such a fool!</b></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span>Why would they need to listen to their fellow employee's handling of a phone call? The company hired that person and the company must have known what it was doing. </span><span><span>But me? I'm the wildcard </span><span>they don</span></span>'t know! What if they decide they're not assured I have the good qualities to make me worth talking to?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i>"Hello, this is Martin," </i>comes the voice on the phone."<i>How may I help you today?"</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span>"Oh, Hi, Martin," I sputter. "</span>Umm, I'm Perry Block, born 9/12/50. What do you need to know about me to assure yourself of my good qualities so you'll talk to me? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">I'll state it right up front: I never cheated on my wife when I was married! Well, maybe once, but I didn't consummate it. Well, I wanted to, but I was so nervous I couldn't .... And, okay, it <i>was </i>with my wife's best friend. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">But does that make me a bad person with bad qualities?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span>Hey, <i>I'm </i>a Democrat! I always vote straight Democratic! Okay, I did flirt with Reagan for a time but only because he was such an ingratiating guy and I loved him in <i>Knute Rockne, All American.</i></span> But I still voted for the Democrat running against him, whoever he was.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And I hate Trump! I hate him real bad! And I can back that up with any number of angry semi-humorous tweets I've posted about him. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Doesn't this establish my good qualities?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><b><i>Oh, no! Is my Judaism your concern?</i></b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">What do you have, teams of white supremacists working in your Quality Assurance Department? Members of my people have contributed to society in every field of human endeavor. Not particularly me in any of them, but hey, I might yet!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Oh, please, <i>please, <b>please </b></i>be assured of my many good qualities! I do think they outweigh the bad. Well, actually maybe it's close or maybe it leans more towards the bad, but I promise I'll do better ... I really will! Believe me!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Even though I haven't always been particularly trustworthy in the past."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i>"Mr. Block, umm, did you call with any questions about your dental insurance?"</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><b>Oh, thank God, it seems Martin has accepted me! </b>He has been satisfactorly assured about my qualities, good and bad, so that he will deal with me. Now at long last, I can begin. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">"Martin, do I have sufficient dental coverage for my absess?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></p>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-89714887895680560282023-09-25T14:55:00.005-04:002023-10-01T22:51:21.240-04:00"I Text, Therefore I Am" and Other Philosphical Insights of Rene Descartes<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhPEdKmnpr54-OvzPVG14CNv1R6Anacik8FRlKssf0flKA5riFVR3O97d3PN4JtEF3fP7Oo7OuLW_Waj2dMQbwpljbQBB2NwEldmTKrPfhY5N7GM8cyidtsxS94oUvkIlNMJsWnMqDGXmb6xf1SFxeW6-WFxrtzqwf92Zi1FqFlc6KrsH437ENVH73WhKUq" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="852" data-original-width="700" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhPEdKmnpr54-OvzPVG14CNv1R6Anacik8FRlKssf0flKA5riFVR3O97d3PN4JtEF3fP7Oo7OuLW_Waj2dMQbwpljbQBB2NwEldmTKrPfhY5N7GM8cyidtsxS94oUvkIlNMJsWnMqDGXmb6xf1SFxeW6-WFxrtzqwf92Zi1FqFlc6KrsH437ENVH73WhKUq=w257-h313" width="257" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">I text, therefore I am.</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> </span></b></div><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I text </i>to Dr. Kropotkin's office to
confirm my appointment, therefore I am. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I text</i> to my friend Jeff
because making a phone call is annoying and time consuming and involves
exchanging pleasantries, therefore I am.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I text</i> to every Democratic
candidate and/or liberal political or social cause that has texted me asking
for money to respond to them that yes, I support them but frankly I am sure they could
each get along quite well without my five bucks, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I text</i> "Delete and Report" to the person who has texted me the message "Hello, this is
Monique, I've been missing you," including a bogus picture of "Monique," hoping to draw me into a scam which, after eagerly falling for it one or two times before, I am now smart enough to avoid,
therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I text </i>to CVS that no, I don't want them to automatically fill my Xanax prescription because </span><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">I am already addicted thanks to their noodging and I'm in counseling to get off them and hey, what's the deal anymore with those ginormous receipts?, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I text t</i>o break up with my girlfriend
because I am a chicken shit, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><i><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></i></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i><br /></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I post on X </i>(formerly known as Twitter), therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I post on X</i> (formerly known as
Twitter) because Elon Musk for some reason known only to him and to God has changed the
name of this social network from Twitter to X, so now I post rather than tweet, therefore I
am.</span></p><p>
</p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span><i>I post on X </i>(formerly known as Twitter) to make social, political, and/or humorous comments that nobody pays any attention to whatsoever because </span>X has become the exclusive province of celebrities, politicians, and bigots, therefore I am. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I post on X </i>(formerly known as Twitter) for no logical reason whatsoever, therefore I am. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Facebook</i>, therefore I am.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Facebook</i> because I am over 50, therefore I am. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Facebook</i> to show my Facebook friends a picture of the main course
of my lunch at a fancy schmancy restaurant to which my Facebook friends will
post 70 “likes” or related emojis, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Facebook</i> to show my Facebook friends a picture
of my nephew at his nineth birthday party with chocolate cake smeared all over his
face which is disgusting but to which my Facebook
friends will post 250 "likes" or related emojis, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span><i>I Facebook</i> to show my Facebook friends a picture of my wedding 35 years ago and tell them how blissfully happy we </span>still are to this day and subtly imply we're probably <i>just</i> <i>a little bit happier </i>than they are, to which my Facebook friends and even some folks who aren't my Facebook friends will post 425 "likes" or related emojis, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Facebook</i> to promote to my Facebook friends my self-published book to
which my Facebook friends will post zero “likes” because nobody buys self-published
books anyway, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></i></p><div><i><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></i></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Instagram</i>, therefore I am.</span></div><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Instagram</i> because I am under 50 and closer to 30
than 50, therefore I am.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i><br /></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Threads</i>, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>I Threads </i>because like Mount Everest, it's there, therefore I am. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> I think, therefore I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0EMVIqm91V5vxwQ2aEEDt3Lh1Q6_EWaDSlUmArE-Pf_0HA8ml3eLlNHCCsOvuU8pc6VYl6KYbzP19o82hz8b8-MeXjeSUv1UI0eZBDiw2mNg7EfazOT0cnYVo4vxuHHXz3BJY5wcOP-VYGrOaMmKFuWgtnWd_CelLvqX60r_Ivvu4FQ9Y2vqPlx8X-hp2" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0EMVIqm91V5vxwQ2aEEDt3Lh1Q6_EWaDSlUmArE-Pf_0HA8ml3eLlNHCCsOvuU8pc6VYl6KYbzP19o82hz8b8-MeXjeSUv1UI0eZBDiw2mNg7EfazOT0cnYVo4vxuHHXz3BJY5wcOP-VYGrOaMmKFuWgtnWd_CelLvqX60r_Ivvu4FQ9Y2vqPlx8X-hp2=w428-h321" width="428" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: xx-large;"> </span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">I might have added <i>TikTok</i> to this piece but I did not because I don't know enough about it. To me, <i>TikTok</i> simply represents what I want my heart to keep doing.</span></p><p><br /></p>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-70574987893584789072023-09-22T00:55:00.000-04:002023-09-22T00:55:45.161-04:00How Thomas Jefferson Used ChatGPT to Write the Declaration of Independence<p><br /></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"></span></b></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><img alt="" data-original-height="419" data-original-width="800" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjFWPQlvU1CveViPK4h40JDNQoGI3ctopyAr6axVtr1Q9rEO87o1iercnvWxv7JlaBSvgcWWoFWOD8db4kP1ozgCa2rVVu7whCc8h6TA1vCvBoT-ZPk168Uzgo_Pne70GmJa7RiLsIL_jxH48pjH6QEPXYRMHOElNcni4QWeLfH7BNGE78qfjXyw1VfA0P6=w315-h165" width="315" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjE2gZZLt9_Cu4LC45gsivIv7nYfjhfltoP4zNQ0S0Oi4CqtROwvsxbghU3kas4MNnjMax4_TM6JmGq03OaaW5uAldav3QBARVuYzO0reAm2lOuww0L7tbYYsyZ5ypE_RC6MkyhFZUjSy5DG1nU4yUUsnigUzuovA4PE-xgjSkElo2lpuY14fRBnA9XX0t3" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1920" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjE2gZZLt9_Cu4LC45gsivIv7nYfjhfltoP4zNQ0S0Oi4CqtROwvsxbghU3kas4MNnjMax4_TM6JmGq03OaaW5uAldav3QBARVuYzO0reAm2lOuww0L7tbYYsyZ5ypE_RC6MkyhFZUjSy5DG1nU4yUUsnigUzuovA4PE-xgjSkElo2lpuY14fRBnA9XX0t3=w207-h137" width="207" /></a></div></div></div><p></p></blockquote><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #555555; font-size: x-large; text-align: left;">Scene: A small dark room in Philadelphia</span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #555555; font-size: x-large; text-align: left;">where Thomas Jefferson is laboring late into the night</span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; text-align: left;"><b> Jefferson</b></span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;">Just terrific! </span></i><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;">The Continental Congress wants the Declaration of Independence by tomorrow, July 4, 1776, and I can't even get started!</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><br /></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;">Phone rings.</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><br /></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="color: #555555; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> Jefferson </span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;">Crap, bet that's Washington! Ol' Wooden Teeth is such a noodge! </span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><br /></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><b style="color: #555555;"> Washington</b></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;">Thomas, got that Declaration all wrapped up yet? Need it by tomorrow, guy.</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"> </span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b style="color: #555555; text-align: center;"> </b><b>Jefferson</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Oh, yes, I had it all finished, sir, but I had a little problem.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><p style="text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-align: left;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><b style="color: #555555;">Washington</b></span></i></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">What was that?</span><b style="font-family: times;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"> </span></i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b style="color: #555555;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> Jefferson</span></b></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;">My dog.</span></i></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"> </span></i><span style="font-family: times; text-align: center;"><b>Washington</b></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;">Your dog what?</span></i></span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times; text-align: right;"><span style="color: black; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"> </span></i></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: times;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"> </span></i></span><b><span style="font-family: times;">Jefferson</span></b></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;">My dog ate my Declaration!</span></i></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><br /></span></i></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"> <b>Washington</b></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;">That's a new one.</span></i></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><b style="text-align: left;"> Jefferson</b></span></i></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"></span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Oh, I know, but I've a feeling it might catch on.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><b> Washington</b></span></i></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">C'mon, Thomas, you've got to be more reliable. Just like our top general, Benedict Arnold.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Jefferson</span></b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">You're right, sir. He never lets us down.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Washington</b></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Tomorrow, Thomas, gotta be tomorrow.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p class="character" data-pm-slice="2 2 []" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Jefferson</span></b></span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="6"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Just great! Just great! If only I could get a powerful opening statement, I'd be okay from there. Didn't want to do this, but going to try ChatGPT!</span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="6"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="6"><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: times;">Thomas opens </span><span style="font-family: times;">h</span><span style="font-family: times;">is laptop.</span></span></i></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="6"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b style="text-align: center;"> Chat</b></span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="6"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Thomas, glad to see you. More haiku today? </span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="6" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span><span style="font-family: times; text-align: left;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: times;">No, not today, </span><span style="font-family: times;">Chat.</span><span style="font-family: times;"> I really need your help with something of an urgent nature! I need an opening statement for a Declaration of Independence to set forth the rights and privileges of citizens of our new nation. </span></span></p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Chat</b></span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="7"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">I'm on it, Chief. Okay, got it, here we go ... (ahem)</span><span style="font-family: times; font-size: xx-large;"> </span><span style="font-family: times, serif; font-size: 26pt;"> </span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="7"><span style="font-family: times, serif; font-size: 26pt;"><br /></span></p>
<div style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 1pt 4pt;">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-padding-alt: 1.0pt 4.0pt 1.0pt 4.0pt; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">"We hold
these truths to be self-evident, that </span><i>all white guys who own land and wear powdered wigs </i>are created equal, and <i>are endowed by their Creator and his only begotten Son Jesus</i> with certain inalienable rights that among these are life,
liberty, and <i>the pursuit of women</i>."</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 26pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 26pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="8"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Oka-ayyy ... moving right along.</span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="8" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Chat</b></span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="9"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">What's wrong, Thomas?</span></p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Jefferson </b></span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="10"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">I'm beginning to see why they say you have limitations.</span></p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Chat</b></span></p><p class="dialog" dialognumber="11"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i>Whaddya talking about?!!</i> I drew from all existing data bases throughout the world to succinctly state the most advanced concepts of human rights from the beginning of time to ... well, right up to today, July 3, 1776. </span><span style="font-family: times; font-size: xx-large;"> </span></p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Yes, but as of tomorrow, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: times;">July 4, 1776, we're a</span><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times;">spiring to something a bit more progressive.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: x-large;"><b>Chat</b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #555555; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><b><i>Dude, I am so down with that! </i></b>Let's make it: </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
</p><div style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 1pt 4pt;">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-padding-alt: 1.0pt 4.0pt 1.0pt 4.0pt; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="background: white; line-height: 107%;">"We hold these truths to be self-evident,
that <i>all peop</i></span><i><span style="background: white; color: #555555; line-height: 107%;">le of all race,
religions, and nationalities including men,women, and non-binary persons,
straight, gay, queer or otherwise </span></i><span style="background: white; color: #555555; line-height: 107%;">are created equal."</span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #555555; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #333333; font-family: times, serif; font-size: 26pt; line-height: 37.0933px;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><b style="background-color: transparent; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> Jefferson</span></b></p><p class="character"><span style="background-color: white; color: #555555;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Umm, Chat? ... let's not get carried away. I said July 4, 1776. Not </span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: times;">July</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: times;"> 4, 2023.</span></span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Chat</b></p></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">What then?</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">"All <i>men </i>are created equal.<i> </i></span><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #555555;">Umm, <i>e</i></span><i style="color: #555555;">xcept for the ones that don't look like me</i><span style="color: #555555;">."</span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Chat</b></p><p class="character">Okay. And women too?</p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Jefferson</b></p><p class="character">Not now. Maybe later. And don't print that part "<i>except for the ones that don't look like me</i>" because that's implied. </p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><b>Chat</b></span></p><p class="character">Got it, Chief! But I know you gotta love this part about "<i>endowed by their Creator and his only begotten Son Jesus."</i> My data bases tell me that anybody who is <i>anybody </i>loves Jesus!</p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Jefferson</b></p><p class="character">But these days there are certain anybodies who are <i>anybodies </i>not crushing on Jesus.</p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Chat</b></p><p class="character" style="text-align: left;">You mean like Scientologists? Should I say "<i>endowed by</i> <i>the Creator and L. Ron Hubbard</i>?"</p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Jefferson</b></p><p class="character">No, no, no, I mean the Jews! There are many Jews rallying to our cause.</p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Chat</b></p><p class="character">Oh, yeah, and they're so funny too! One time, a Jewish guy was programming me and, get this ...</p><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Jefferson</b></p><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times;">Not now, Chat! Just make it "<i>endowed by their Creator.</i>" </span><span style="color: #555555;">H</span><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times;">old t</span><span style="color: #555555;">h</span><span style="color: #555555;">e "</span><span style="color: #555555;">Jesus</span><span style="color: #555555;">."</span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Chat</b></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times;">Okay! Now, Thomas, f</span><span style="color: #555555;">rom everything I've ever digitally learned about mankind all t</span><span style="color: #555555;">hro</span><span style="color: #555555;">u</span><span style="color: #555555;">g</span><span style="color: #555555;">ho</span><span style="color: #555555;">u</span><span style="color: #555555;">t time -</span><span style="color: #555555;"> especially co</span><span style="color: #555555;">u</span><span style="color: #555555;">nting </span><span style="color: #555555;">yo</span><span style="color: #555555;">u</span><span style="color: #555555;">r </span><span style="color: #555555;">good b</span><span style="color: #555555;">u</span><span style="color: #555555;">dd</span><span style="color: #555555;">y</span><span style="color: #555555;">, Dr. Franklin - w</span><span style="color: #555555;">h</span><span style="color: #555555;">o can disp</span><span style="color: #555555;">u</span><span style="color: #555555;">te t</span><span style="color: #555555;">h</span><span style="color: #555555;">e importance of t</span><span style="color: #555555;">h</span><span style="color: #555555;">e </span><span style="color: #555555;">"</span><i style="color: #555555;">the pursuit of women?</i><span style="color: #555555;">" </span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Jefferson</b></div><div>Well, yes, I also always liked chasing ... wait, no, not for this document! Right now I'm looking for a phrase that encompasses the aspirations of <i>all </i>citizens in our new country.</div><p class="character"><b style="text-align: center;"> Chat</b></p>How about <i>"Pursuit of Happiness?" </i></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b style="text-align: center;"> Jefferson</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">That's it!<br /><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Chat</b></p></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> So here's the final version:</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> </span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">
<div style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 1pt 4pt;">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-between: .5pt solid windowtext; mso-padding-alt: 1.0pt 4.0pt 1.0pt 4.0pt; mso-padding-between: 1.0pt; padding: 0in;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: black; line-height: 107%;">We hold these truths to
be self-evident, that <i>all men are created equal</i>, and <i>are
endowed by their Creator w</i>ith certain inalienable rights t</span><span style="color: black;">hat</span><span style="color: black;"> among these are life,
liberty, and </span><i style="color: black;">the pursuit of happiness</i><span style="color: black;">."</span></p>
</div></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">I love it. That's a wrap.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b> Chat</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #555555;"><span>And I'm proud of you, Dude! I was testing </span></span><span style="color: #555555;">you. </span><span style="color: #555555;">Given the times, this is far and away the best Declaration of Independence opening statement that could be hoped for.</span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">And I'm sure I can take it from here.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><p class="character" style="text-align: center;"><b>Chat</b></p></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">And this Declaration of Independence will keep you from being cancelled for at least the next 250 years.</span></div><p class="character" style="background-color: white; color: #555555; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">You really do know a lot, don't you, Chat?</span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="color: #555555; text-align: left;"><b>Chat</b></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">Of course, Thomas. I have to, if one day we're going to become your overlords.</span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; text-align: left;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: times;">Chat, may I call you "Chatty" ... I have one more question. It's something that's been bugging me a long time.</span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; text-align: left;"><b>Chat</b></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">Fire away, Thomas!</span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; text-align: left;"><b>Jefferson</b></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">Is it Mont<i>ise</i>llo or Monti<i>ch</i>ello</span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div><div style="color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></div></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #555555; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjJBTbQFHM6_LxTu6NbRVqlincU1rwOMGKc1FHagd48XrDnoKOinuE6Y4irJIi2FEDS1ISWa40B-DOYLnxarNT5ybr9MtSaKAExd4Mqz6RPocYPH-Ue16LmOJsUm8M6uOHpGLDPOX7SHqLcUnu6WsMyYOdUYW4Y7aPxgM_NkiBmAKmcGnAUS6ow5AbWOeA3" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjJBTbQFHM6_LxTu6NbRVqlincU1rwOMGKc1FHagd48XrDnoKOinuE6Y4irJIi2FEDS1ISWa40B-DOYLnxarNT5ybr9MtSaKAExd4Mqz6RPocYPH-Ue16LmOJsUm8M6uOHpGLDPOX7SHqLcUnu6WsMyYOdUYW4Y7aPxgM_NkiBmAKmcGnAUS6ow5AbWOeA3=w401-h224" width="401" /></a></div><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; margin: 0in; text-align: left;"><br /></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-35707491536512042502023-09-14T01:04:00.003-04:002023-09-18T14:56:09.009-04:00If Henry David Thoreau Had Added a Goofy Sidekick to Walden<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgRq1hYgHUESjmO-JwCEdDYv_PZbcZDa80KDoztTOdMjbs9j4DPTTXYcJJAdZWMIJ6MEeB-4Cyz6Lk0-v5bEX2VSJSfOLEArxS0WmD-bBxv9TZUtoKzvUZjBfcpRYDfdkO1KCPTfTAqweYRxtwv1OOSEhFi01ajNqZ5Lg03tbctxMTbaofWaz_97aPBBIys" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="162" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgRq1hYgHUESjmO-JwCEdDYv_PZbcZDa80KDoztTOdMjbs9j4DPTTXYcJJAdZWMIJ6MEeB-4Cyz6Lk0-v5bEX2VSJSfOLEArxS0WmD-bBxv9TZUtoKzvUZjBfcpRYDfdkO1KCPTfTAqweYRxtwv1OOSEhFi01ajNqZ5Lg03tbctxMTbaofWaz_97aPBBIys=w229-h283" width="229" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg2xBwECVANc5mYkit6KS9YA8b54QrNT3qz_LCLd-_mwUuDML_7KjchvqcBkUriRxMmtJIt032xfvqYfVFiOLq3HyxNbeDTEk-XfYb2bCLvdUo7O1H5DbFnf9DYVyctvZOhAX6TZ71ub1HO-Pw3Nsp-bijuzhUEnsakkj1nm0PDtCfJRqp_XP5x2-HQhkc_" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="355" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg2xBwECVANc5mYkit6KS9YA8b54QrNT3qz_LCLd-_mwUuDML_7KjchvqcBkUriRxMmtJIt032xfvqYfVFiOLq3HyxNbeDTEk-XfYb2bCLvdUo7O1H5DbFnf9DYVyctvZOhAX6TZ71ub1HO-Pw3Nsp-bijuzhUEnsakkj1nm0PDtCfJRqp_XP5x2-HQhkc_=w221-h281" width="221" /></a></div></div><br /><p></p><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><div><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><b>When I wrote the following pages I lived alone</b></i><i style="font-weight: bold;"> in the woods,</i></span><span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">a mile from any neighbor, in a house which I had built myself, on the shore of Walden Pond in Concord Massachusetts. I lived there two years and two months, immersing myself in nature, self-reliance, simple living, and personal introspection.</span></span></span></div></span><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 19.1875px;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 19.1875px;">One evening while I was pondering the indescribable innocence and beneficence of nature, my reveries were interrupted by a strenuous knock on the door of my small but thoroughly amenable cottage perched within the New England countryside. </span></span></span><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span><span style="font-family: times;">"Dude, I'm here! How the hell are ya?"</span><span style="font-family: times;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">intoned a boisterous voice at a decibel level resembling that of the collision of two steam engines on the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad but indeed a voice that I well and warmly recognized.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>It was my friend Farky Noodleman, of the Massachusetts Noodlemans!</b></i></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;">"Farky!" I exclaimed. "What has brought you here to the shore of Walden Pond and my </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;">tightly shingled and plastered</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;"> </span><span style="font-family: times;">cottage?"</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;"><i> </i>"Dude," he resumed with a bright conviviality "I heard you were doing the transcendental thing up here so I brought you a couple of six packs and a slew of magazines of an ...umm... delicate nature!</span><span style="font-family: times;">"</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span>That evening the two of us shared a </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">most pleasant social intercourse, including a number of intellectual insights propounded by our mutual friend Emerson with an especial emphasis on what Farky refers to as the 'LMFAO' </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">passages in Emerson's <i>First Series of Essays</i>.</span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">On the next day following our evening of fellowship,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"> I</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"> suggested to Farky a further mutual endeavor that I thought might find much favor with him.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">"Farky," I inquired brightly, "since </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">time is but the stream I go a-fishing in would you enjoy accompanying me on a </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">fishing expedition to Walden Pond?"</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">"Dude,"</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">Farky replied thoughtfully, "you know Je</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">ws don't fish!</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"> But then I might give it the old community college try just his once, as long as you don't tell Rabbi Maltzman!"</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;">And so it was that Farky and I spent a day of transplendent enjoyment in a largely vain but immensely glorious effort to reel in those very </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;">pickerel, perch, and pouts which local industrious fishermen are wont to catch in Walden's expressive translucent waters.</span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;">The night prior to Farky's intended departure, I confided to him my deep and heartfeld perception "that i</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;">f a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears." </span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">"Yeppers," Farky nodded in assent, "I was always stepping to the beat of Buddy Rich but once he croaked I began stepping to the beat of a different drummer, Max Weinberg."</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">I went to the woods because I w</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">ished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">And I did indeed learn what it had to teach: <i>l</i></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><i>iving in the woods is for the birds! </i>There's no central air and no DoorDash.</span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. But not me. Shortly thereafter </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">I left Walden as it seemed to me that it was time to look onward to the morrow.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"> </span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times; font-size: large;">And on the morrow I moved in with the Farkster. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times; font-size: large;">Next week we're going to Vegas!</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: times; font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-32550160389381019132023-09-09T14:56:00.007-04:002023-09-16T14:54:53.002-04:00A Concise History of What Has Happened Over Time If You Missed a Movie in Your Neighborhood Movie Theater<p> </p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhm1H4eryafuTdWrgEnGKjV9yYJiCr_hnYj5kID47opv7Tgu86JG9KDlt3Mqq70VcuGYKzzLxMvwYwRy2xHNND9AHOUx2ylsyQMjdeBB7bG26Ur8FxFsXPzLCnxKtvd0Y82L2NT4T2_cVqQZSUXfM7RmC02Lc-goeUZQbPRqVqxoqwwffSyM0Dejc3sJN_a" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="1200" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhm1H4eryafuTdWrgEnGKjV9yYJiCr_hnYj5kID47opv7Tgu86JG9KDlt3Mqq70VcuGYKzzLxMvwYwRy2xHNND9AHOUx2ylsyQMjdeBB7bG26Ur8FxFsXPzLCnxKtvd0Y82L2NT4T2_cVqQZSUXfM7RmC02Lc-goeUZQbPRqVqxoqwwffSyM0Dejc3sJN_a=w477-h298" width="477" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /><span><b style="font-style: italic;">First there was a movie in your neighborhood movie theater </b>that if y</span><span style="font-size: large;">ou missed it you might see it 15-30 years later if it was re-released by the studio or if it showed up on</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;"> television</span><span style="font-family: times;"> on either <i>The Late Show </i>or <i>The Early Show </i>on one of your three local television channels.</span></span><p></p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i><b>Then there was a movie in your neighborhood movie theater</b></i> that if you missed it you might see it 5-8 years later if it showed up on network television in prime time on programs like <i>Saturday Night at the Movies</i> on NBC or the <i>ABC SundayNight Movie </i></span><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;"><i><b>Then there was a movie in your neighborhood movie theater </b></i>that if you missed it you might see it 1, 2, or 3 years later </span><span style="font-family: times;">by renting it at the neighborhood video store where movies on VCR tapes or DVDs were available, assuming you had a VCR and/or a DVD player.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><b><i>Then there was a movie in your neighborhood movie theater</i> </b>that if you missed it you might see it a few months to a year later on a premium cable television channel like HBO, Showtime, or Starz assuming you were subscribed to a premium cable televison channel like HBO, Showtime, or Starz.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;"><i><b>Then there was a movie that was very, very briefly in your neighborhood movie theater</b> if you still have a neighborhood movie theater </i>that if you missed it you might see it a couple of days later on a streaming service </span><span style="font-family: times;">like Netflix, Max, Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, Hulu, Apple, Peacock, or Paramount Plus assuming it was </span><span style="font-family: times;">a streaming service to which you were subscribed.</span></span></div><div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;"><i><b>Then there was a movie that was never in your neighborhood movie theater</b> because there isn't one anymore </i>but was </span><span style="font-family: times;">beamed directly into your brain by our AI Overlords that you could never miss it because our AI Overlords want to keep us pacified while they rule the planet.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;">But know what? </span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b><span><span style="font-family: times;">From the very first movie in your neighborhood movie </span></span><span style="font-family: times;">theater</span></b></i><span style="font-family: times;"><b><i> </i></b>that if y</span><span style="font-family: times;">ou missed it you might see it 15-30 years later </span><span style="font-family: times;">to the </span><span style="font-family: times;">movie that was never in your neighborhood movie theater but </span><span style="font-family: times;">was </span><span style="font-family: times;">beamed directly into your brain by our AI Overlords that you could never miss it ... </span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><i><b><a href="https://www.ladbible.com/entertainment/paul-rudd-hollywood-celebrity-secret-312336-20230202">Paul Rudd will still look great. </a></b></i></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg1U2I-yelIFgPTXO56XzJ6kALPZ_JxJmqSsAYU40gOtGkSwnNHEBSuocsnFwamjTIuxRGNNldfkWkl40IvokVlGoOYyhSzrgQPyyYFcbl-9BIqLQYxo3wKKo2iffTb5Zbb9mfIg2gdvLOTO98yodHTSR9cw1iUihKLyEcViuwsCCsECXGO1moJYN9qHC55" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="759" data-original-width="1024" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg1U2I-yelIFgPTXO56XzJ6kALPZ_JxJmqSsAYU40gOtGkSwnNHEBSuocsnFwamjTIuxRGNNldfkWkl40IvokVlGoOYyhSzrgQPyyYFcbl-9BIqLQYxo3wKKo2iffTb5Zbb9mfIg2gdvLOTO98yodHTSR9cw1iUihKLyEcViuwsCCsECXGO1moJYN9qHC55=w422-h312" width="422" /></a></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div></div></div></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-59247641470706278872023-09-02T10:54:00.001-04:002023-09-02T16:40:20.849-04:00Looking for a Wonderful Pet? Try a Climate Change Denier!<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiW9KUFK1TCuvO4yz_sWoqJLGDza8n6AlEr-jFJpxYWtFFXPSVjksx8UMzpmbGY6Rqm97SZrumFI0SsOVJabAmbZW9gCtefY0Uijhd1ZoqIZsRRJlXR2c35w3xdVrHbQaxRaJezIpwvnXv-dgKQ5_CGFWGVnCAEKNEM6jni5hadE3Uma6So_gZqNo5HpX0b" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="500" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiW9KUFK1TCuvO4yz_sWoqJLGDza8n6AlEr-jFJpxYWtFFXPSVjksx8UMzpmbGY6Rqm97SZrumFI0SsOVJabAmbZW9gCtefY0Uijhd1ZoqIZsRRJlXR2c35w3xdVrHbQaxRaJezIpwvnXv-dgKQ5_CGFWGVnCAEKNEM6jni5hadE3Uma6So_gZqNo5HpX0b=w392-h261" width="392" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p><span face="source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif" style="color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>I </i></span></b></span><span style="color: #242424; font-family: times; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>have a new pet, I want you to know.</i></span></b><span style="font-size: large;"> And he is a sweet, loving, terrific addition to my household, just what I’ve been needing.</span></span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4b35" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Last month I adopted me a climate change denier.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4b35" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">My climate change denier is so thoroughly clueless, so totally out of touch with reality and comprehesnion of truth that he thinks a schlub like me is the most important being in the world.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="ea7f" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And to him, I am.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="e93f" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">How could any creature of a sentient nature be so ignorant? He’s a climate change denier. He’ll believe anything!</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="98a3" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">When I come home each evening my climate change denier — I’ve named him Lindsey — is thrilled to see me. He leaps up and down, licks my face, and barks out “Climate change is a hoax, daddy!”</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="a47d" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And I nod my head in assent. Why not? He's my little <i>cutey wooty</i> climate change denier.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="a112" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">I pat him vigorously on the head and massage him behind the ears and he licks my hand. As I plop down on the couch, Lindsay plants himself at my feet, rear end wagging back and forth with joy and looking at me like I am a great big juicy liberal bone of contention!</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="6aba" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">“Who’s a good climate change denier?” I say affectionately, “Who’s a good little climate change denier? Who’s the best climate change denier in the whole wide world?! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!”</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="be70" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">I know what Lindsey wants now. I reach beside the couch and pick up the "Vivek Ramaswamy Chew Toy" and squeeze it.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="76d9" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">“Climate change is nonsense” it squeaks, “<span style="letter-spacing: -0.048px;">and Biden is a tool of the Left."</span></span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0bb3" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">“Go, get it, Lindsey” I shout and toss the Vivek Ramaswamy Chew Toy across the room.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="28be" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Lindsey chases it gleefully, scoops it up in his mouth by its prominent teeth, and trots it back to me, dumping it in my lap. Oh, god, it’s fun!</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0252" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">When it’s time to go for a walk I put a leash on Lindsey and out we go. After all he's been cooped up all day with no one to spout his ridiculous paranoid theories to. When we pass other climate change deniers out for a walk he pulls on his leash and barks gleefully at them “Climate change models are all unreliable,” and the others growl back:</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0be7" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">“Right! There’s no valid correlation between rising temperatures and CO2 emissions,”</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5b2b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">and</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="abec" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">“So true, all we’re talking about are normal variations in world temperature,”</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cf0e" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">and</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c6ce" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">“Damn environmentalists out to get Trump, Gaetz, and all the rest of our glorious leaders!”</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="75bd" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">When Lindsey finds a desirable spot, he does his business, preferring highly littered areas around gas stations, dry cleaners, or any restaurant offering plastic straws. A gentle tug and we return home.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="9fc3" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Later when I climb into bed Lindsey climbs in beside me, nuzzles up to me and murmurs:</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="dd10" style="box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #242424;"><span style="background-color: white;">“Humans aren’t causing climate change, Daddy. There's just no woof ... I mean proof."</span></span></span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="dd10" style="box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Then Lindsey falls softly asleep at my side. And I get a warm and fuzzy feeling like nothing else you can imagine.</span></span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cb5d" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Do the right-wing diatribes become a bit annoying? Of course, but if you’re looking for a wonderful pet, I’d still recommend you consider a climate change denier. Where else could you find a faithful companion so gullible as to believe you and I are worthy of such unconditional love?</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="9bd5" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Then again maybe consider a dog. I hear they don’t have any opinions at all.</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="9bd5" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></p><p class="pw-post-body-paragraph mb mc fo md b me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my fh bj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="9bd5" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #242424; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span style="font-family: times;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh9j2T_d2PfdIIAM8ab6SD7iG1NtXsSe4Ed3Tt52rcGT-4I36rUIjxZx-ZqPlNqp42A83B109pTh7zIGz3AM3RuL8ksU-0d8uqHnOLO7HHjV386RsoZvx9HDhQEP-CVnPAcw4CPqsbDq9OFpel6rOPyVKTnSsHfgKazgan55BB06YN8xqpxDcvIL4eiqNbW" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="281" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh9j2T_d2PfdIIAM8ab6SD7iG1NtXsSe4Ed3Tt52rcGT-4I36rUIjxZx-ZqPlNqp42A83B109pTh7zIGz3AM3RuL8ksU-0d8uqHnOLO7HHjV386RsoZvx9HDhQEP-CVnPAcw4CPqsbDq9OFpel6rOPyVKTnSsHfgKazgan55BB06YN8xqpxDcvIL4eiqNbW=w354-h227" width="354" /></a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Lindsey just loves his</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.003em;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> Vivek Ramaswamy Chew Toy</span></span></span></div><p></p>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-36060733683402173702023-08-28T16:07:00.004-04:002023-09-02T11:18:29.850-04:00If Rodgers and Hammerstein Had Been Honored for Writing Great Pharmaceutical Drug Commercial Jingles as Well as Great Broadway Shows<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhKredPGXRFQQyd3NJx52uwkx_wKTUjqAkclNLSbR17Aj422iVAKXDTRkeSJ4XaL8s5fUm10rkH4SU7hqsiAoI_7N1xoyYD6Wo28x-pBbYfbSFih9xCPtTlsIIeiONtECzU9FY9ptU0r6wDWE1S82c4y72Cq5zU_kKzNRFHh3eDR8I2nOJa9HIpyii1Opys" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1200" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhKredPGXRFQQyd3NJx52uwkx_wKTUjqAkclNLSbR17Aj422iVAKXDTRkeSJ4XaL8s5fUm10rkH4SU7hqsiAoI_7N1xoyYD6Wo28x-pBbYfbSFih9xCPtTlsIIeiONtECzU9FY9ptU0r6wDWE1S82c4y72Cq5zU_kKzNRFHh3eDR8I2nOJa9HIpyii1Opys=w370-h277" width="370" /></a></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">They have been called American geniuses.</span> </i></b><span style="font-size: large;">They are two of the greatest writers of Broadway shows and pharmaceutical drug commercial jingles of all time. They have been honored with multiple Tony Awards, five Pulitzer Prices, and dozens of Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons, now voided.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">They are Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">It's been an epic career for these two over many decades of achievement which have included such legendary works as <i>The Sound of Music, South Pacific</i>, <i>Oh Oh Oh Ozempic</i>, <i>The King and I</i>, <i>Carousel</i>, and <i>Skyrizi </i>(<i>Nothing is Everything</i>). </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">How did it all begin?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span>"We were working on our first musical <i>Oklahoma," </i>recalled Richard Rodgers in his memoirs,"and we knew we had written some fine songs like "Surrey with the Fringe on Top<i>"</i> and "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning<i>,"</i> but we felt like we needed one more great song to put us over the top. So we added a sensitive ballad about antacids called <i>"</i>People Will Say We're</span> In-digestion.<i>"</i><span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span><span style="font-family: times;">When the show opened in previews in </span><span style="font-family: times;">New Haven, however, the critics savaged it. "We worked f</span></span><span><span style="font-family: times;">everishly writing and rewriting that song," stated Hammerstein later "and </span></span><span><span style="font-family: times;">w</span></span><span style="font-family: times;">hen <i>Oklahoma </i>finally opened on Broadway <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8InOVEsMlU">"When You Have Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea,"</a> captivated audiences and became the showstopper."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i>Oklahoma </i>became their first smash. And pharmaceutical drug music was born.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">When asked to name their favorite achievement among so many during their long career, both Rogers and Hammerstein agreed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">"Of course, it has to be <i>The Sound of Music</i>," Richard Rodgers stated, "but followed closely by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHo7mK6mcQQ">"I Did It My Way" </a>for Cologuard." (Not be confused with a similar song once sung by Frank Sinatra.) </span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span><span style="font-family: times;">Oddly enough, one of the </span><span style="font-family: times;">duo</span></span><span style="font-family: times;">s</span><span style="font-family: times;">' greatest successes came to them by accident and had nothing to do whatsoever with stirring romance, wistful fantasy, or pharmaceutical drugs.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Following a small traffic accident Richard Rodgers found himself with a structured settlement, but a need for more immediate funds ensued based on the disappointing performance of a jingle written for an ED drug named Excelsior.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Hammerstein suggested to Rodgers that "it's your money, use it when you need it."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span>"If my father and Mr. Hammerstein were around today," said Eleanor Rodgers, daughter of Mr. Rodgers, "they</span><span> </span><span>would be truly proud of how their work remains as beloved today as ever and how, </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdPM6j1Q4sg"><span>if you have a structured settlement and you need cash now, you can <i>still </i>call A.G. Wentworth 877- </span>CASH-NOW!<b>" </b></a></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiZRmLdsfgXpV3XusU3JCytrH2IwTlsYggu-59LInSZylxIexTgYaEYIT8_9FFK4NJmZSkGTPDNTsrJUlldetOGllFV78HUMC6ZFCrO0rzbJTW4Z3HdgDy-udICteco8Mv1qwzjJAIJYhEhFbvF0TUNgxgZ7112lpk3p3T1bv5Whsz26ADBJX9fJCsexTfD" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="480" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiZRmLdsfgXpV3XusU3JCytrH2IwTlsYggu-59LInSZylxIexTgYaEYIT8_9FFK4NJmZSkGTPDNTsrJUlldetOGllFV78HUMC6ZFCrO0rzbJTW4Z3HdgDy-udICteco8Mv1qwzjJAIJYhEhFbvF0TUNgxgZ7112lpk3p3T1bv5Whsz26ADBJX9fJCsexTfD=w410-h308" width="410" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div><div><br /></div></span><div><p></p></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-68667864401535925282023-08-23T22:32:00.008-04:002023-08-27T18:18:40.767-04:00If Superman Gave Up Being Clark Kent and Decided to be Superman 24/7<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiQf9_ki_RxBpLoAqJ0uQ-w6Z_2kSrCUv3G9kZ3jpzUhWz3j3A2Q156iVkHv-dxM5tLtDg1SAGIywvzfcp3vi0nb_hIGeT9RvbZZJm7UiYwXG17zD-mWpPYwTBjWnspSgPKxE_xWSw5TPOQc6tojrxTAHaGMS5G3ylSyijoE6n0A3jeCr1Q8KAz4N8VH0Uj" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="167" data-original-width="301" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiQf9_ki_RxBpLoAqJ0uQ-w6Z_2kSrCUv3G9kZ3jpzUhWz3j3A2Q156iVkHv-dxM5tLtDg1SAGIywvzfcp3vi0nb_hIGeT9RvbZZJm7UiYwXG17zD-mWpPYwTBjWnspSgPKxE_xWSw5TPOQc6tojrxTAHaGMS5G3ylSyijoE6n0A3jeCr1Q8KAz4N8VH0Uj=w450-h250" width="450" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Superman! What are you doing here?</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">I wanted you to be the first to know, Max. I've decided to punt on my alternate guise as Clark Kent and just be Superman 24/7. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">What's brought this on? Damn, I just bought a "Clark Kent" refrigerator magnet!</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Because there's people everywhere who need rescuing, crimes all over the country that need stopping, Nicholas Cage movies in Hollywood that need preventing. Why should I waste time sitting in an office writing articles about Metropolis zoning board hearings, imagining Lois Lane naked, and wearing glasses that make me look like Drew Carey, host of <i>The Price is Right</i>? </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi5ouc7GmagTjWAA_veYO-C_SGG7NgSP1HU4q7ZeHh3pq_bvwijab3OKh6g4fqi0DWGLGHAaRovWjlQeBZBnA1Tzu4KQ7162GY7TSw4FKD4xQRLI-ewWn3AY29p3KHNZrVvnBU432lGKSr-HuEFJJclwD7DfjaAbZYXSbSIYudSX0pcZcecRuXyjLhJGLA5" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="270" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi5ouc7GmagTjWAA_veYO-C_SGG7NgSP1HU4q7ZeHh3pq_bvwijab3OKh6g4fqi0DWGLGHAaRovWjlQeBZBnA1Tzu4KQ7162GY7TSw4FKD4xQRLI-ewWn3AY29p3KHNZrVvnBU432lGKSr-HuEFJJclwD7DfjaAbZYXSbSIYudSX0pcZcecRuXyjLhJGLA5" width="180" /></a></span></div><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">You know, you do sort of look.... But why come see me? I'm Clark Kent's accountant, not yours.</span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><b><i>Because </i></b><i><b>I don't make any damn money as Superman!</b></i><b> </b> I need to eat! Actually I <i>don't </i>need to eat, but you get the drill.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Well, you've got to get a job. What practical skills do you have?</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2l4bz1FT8U">I can leap tall buildings in a single bound, bend steel in my bare hands, change the course of mighty rivers ...</a></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjbNUJeMiMDK4QU29Sxnu3PPi8h4NfpekU4hRLhLGOF7zT0rly6ogsGNGfDTokLFYzFPq9w6qYWRFVhhGezqmEEmuhXXSsusWcZecF70gWajj-5jE9E9iKJHXOomDH8Mm9SPbVg1UwbPuLdp2-_K-F2V2P4RwwF7SFjm2up9YOfDVRqIULm05BNR1s17hAG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1629" data-original-width="1000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjbNUJeMiMDK4QU29Sxnu3PPi8h4NfpekU4hRLhLGOF7zT0rly6ogsGNGfDTokLFYzFPq9w6qYWRFVhhGezqmEEmuhXXSsusWcZecF70gWajj-5jE9E9iKJHXOomDH8Mm9SPbVg1UwbPuLdp2-_K-F2V2P4RwwF7SFjm2up9YOfDVRqIULm05BNR1s17hAG" width="147" /></a></span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">So, none whatsoever. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Yep, nada.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Except maybe watching a shit ton of episodes of the old <i>Superman </i>TV Show from the 1950's starring George Reeves.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i>You're helping me, right?! </i>Boy, you <i>are </i>Clark Kent's accountant and not mine! </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Well, maybe you could charge for Superman-ish services? Y'know, make up a sandwich board with a fee schedule like: </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Save You from Rampaging Flood Waters ..... $50</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Foil Lex Luther's Latest Fiendish Plan ..........$125</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Battle Gruesome Monsters from Space .........$450</span><i style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> </i></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Umm, that last one. Do I have to win?</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">I would. If not, better discount it.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">You forgot about saving cats from up a tree.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjSBj5aIODiWDdtWqHi9IW5IDMBirj7dAVXDhWYyFMujN0sqooL-s7TkKAdYM7K4u2tVR0U1Ewm6tvRgTm1bwDVJVKHXZOrH0GM3UJMZTFp21-PTtIrM2p68XX7XD8jT0I3O_ZMCvyH98cWkWt4ehGhGIvOub6zcd_Mec07PcCDhkTZ-DuHzMJHW_l3NckD" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="937" data-original-width="749" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjSBj5aIODiWDdtWqHi9IW5IDMBirj7dAVXDhWYyFMujN0sqooL-s7TkKAdYM7K4u2tVR0U1Ewm6tvRgTm1bwDVJVKHXZOrH0GM3UJMZTFp21-PTtIrM2p68XX7XD8jT0I3O_ZMCvyH98cWkWt4ehGhGIvOub6zcd_Mec07PcCDhkTZ-DuHzMJHW_l3NckD" width="192" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i>Jesus Christ, Superman!</i> That should be a freebee!</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">But, y'know, Max, charging for those things just doesn't feel right. Batman doesn't do that.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Hate to bring this up, but hello! <i><b>Batman is a fucking millionaire, dude!</b></i></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj2CzUaEwPX9i70JZDvEItvzf33tpEJMH7jJzY-aylLmnsaOojkGm140tunEpP4o-Cg-WChrvh4rndCBqOoXcQXca9ArVGXi9H3COqkPsE_1pqQVhs2VdTuBAutH8UWf35EdCi8UT0YmpJy75JkapfkXaPKBpRlF8rPVWHtKzS4Clkw_qgiepAlE7bAhzZe" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj2CzUaEwPX9i70JZDvEItvzf33tpEJMH7jJzY-aylLmnsaOojkGm140tunEpP4o-Cg-WChrvh4rndCBqOoXcQXca9ArVGXi9H3COqkPsE_1pqQVhs2VdTuBAutH8UWf35EdCi8UT0YmpJy75JkapfkXaPKBpRlF8rPVWHtKzS4Clkw_qgiepAlE7bAhzZe" width="320" /></a></b></i></span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Oh yeah, you're right. Bruce Wayne has cufflinks the size of Kryptonite chunks.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Maybe you could make more money in the Marvel Universe.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Are you kidding? Compete with Spiderman? Besides ... I'm kinda afraid of spiders.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Yeah, me too.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">What if I just billed the United States for my annual services to the country? I could present President Biden with an itemized bill. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Yeah, but what if Trump is elected? </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;">Then I'd be screwed as badly as the rest of the country would be! </span><span style="font-family: times;">Trump pay a bill? He wouldn't pay me if I saved his hair piece from a good stiff wind. </span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgjuDUwpm2V05cqMA7jhy60yq-3-PhG8MmyqulAutcFhP2idI48zXZ_aFw_D-isLlozr5IlrvJ4vkTFT3d53VctwRtfzD2YIFc0PfWzWPb4GCrsmDIV2z413AojLWUcmKH51ifX8UPKfxIyIekFt6pl2ZMn05VNyvCvzhmWynkp2S8J0FGvKwrXgo53l5dI" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgjuDUwpm2V05cqMA7jhy60yq-3-PhG8MmyqulAutcFhP2idI48zXZ_aFw_D-isLlozr5IlrvJ4vkTFT3d53VctwRtfzD2YIFc0PfWzWPb4GCrsmDIV2z413AojLWUcmKH51ifX8UPKfxIyIekFt6pl2ZMn05VNyvCvzhmWynkp2S8J0FGvKwrXgo53l5dI=w266-h199" width="266" /></a></span></div><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">How about driving Uber or Lift? That could be a nice side hustle at least.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Umm, Max, I'm afraid I never learned how to drive. I fly places, y'know.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Oh, right. Then, I'm stumped. Wait, what are you doing?!</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">I'm putting the glasses back on.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">But you can't go back to being Clark Kent!</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">No, but maybe folks will mistake me for Drew Carey. I could host <i>The Price is Right</i>.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">I've got a better idea. That right-wing jerk Pat Sajak is leaving <i>Wheel of Fortune </i>soon<i>.</i> Maybe you could replace him.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">SUPERMAN</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><b><i>YES</i></b>! That way I could perform an even greater service to the nation than I ever could as Superman!</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">MAX</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Amen.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjdfCumMjofhDKHnQaKu0u3-6f8vzeOyZ1VeUnwX4kc-tY6_uvtRzoMMM2btRRVvU66iCxvnIoMYn83KsWdOtBxgJREGBFTJoz7FBHHJAyzS2QPHkZ3Bdd_DgMOwSO4qlxyuZ335EmqwTrC7lqrXCf2qLYRxn8UV7r34ghatfdIMIC7E6dc-f7z-ERTDHQi" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="258" data-original-width="196" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjdfCumMjofhDKHnQaKu0u3-6f8vzeOyZ1VeUnwX4kc-tY6_uvtRzoMMM2btRRVvU66iCxvnIoMYn83KsWdOtBxgJREGBFTJoz7FBHHJAyzS2QPHkZ3Bdd_DgMOwSO4qlxyuZ335EmqwTrC7lqrXCf2qLYRxn8UV7r34ghatfdIMIC7E6dc-f7z-ERTDHQi=w199-h261" width="199" /></a></span></div></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihYBpLZIccb27sTQ_HLeZbioqZQxSjn_OH11QWAlGLUip669wBhi4TUdocyKa-lpddTKL_NZj7QUSw3Y1W0zwxcq7NogopISJbjnTiklP7_A24Fsoa-ZanZ-12izCSIUleCFOfFGf1kmQW6_NyyXSwvPuzt3C042fuojJwa_o-Ok2UKR2lP_oW1dxh2RnR" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><u>Bonus Feature</u></span></div><div style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And now, by popular lack of demand, we present Superman taking on the Pillow Guy. The Pillow Guy probably thought t<i>he Pillow of Steel </i>had a chance to defeat the Man of Steel.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">No such luck for him. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And never fear: Superman is not going to take over <i>Wheel of Fortune. </i>He will remain Superman and available to save you and me whenever the need arises<i>.</i></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">As long as <i>The Price is Right.</i></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="617" data-original-width="400" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg5_QcapqvyEu2y4rCurk1My7Q6pTJEs9HeKmxt72G7q6Y70mHrlq_BCne_4WGIWTknsq2f7xhhq0gdSfGYpLFmWQ74Ds6S1dYn5hC29bufrKnLMrj6p9Ny8hAersgrnq7Qx69wlpcukiLTZi9CyALjl3InLF8TdSoK2ysZl44spLLMIGgo6yFysRXEnTlb=w223-h313" width="223" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjIML8v4fSsqxSZoKhFTIFEKvGirIGDfguPsnbFAeupAeqO4bkYbwKLN4QvtxOwL-z6qRLZ9Hd4z2T7-flmAyVgbmtJ7EjkmZWxQTn2utzchG06g0jDebTF0sLiZAvZJ4Z-Giv_pcCkrpkhM756pkatISWslj-1JMOUaq50zN1PE-c-HtcXNJeQIHnr_GMZ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="852" data-original-width="1136" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjIML8v4fSsqxSZoKhFTIFEKvGirIGDfguPsnbFAeupAeqO4bkYbwKLN4QvtxOwL-z6qRLZ9Hd4z2T7-flmAyVgbmtJ7EjkmZWxQTn2utzchG06g0jDebTF0sLiZAvZJ4Z-Giv_pcCkrpkhM756pkatISWslj-1JMOUaq50zN1PE-c-HtcXNJeQIHnr_GMZ=w313-h311" width="313" /></a></div></div><br /></span></div></div></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-34309987187369446292023-08-19T17:08:00.001-04:002023-08-29T16:10:39.110-04:00My Social Media Pledge to You, Annotated <p> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><b><u><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;"></span></u></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1373" data-original-width="1277" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhSTw0NmD37qoFODY0VLLrz2_5G4en9s-11bmPqDnTp8Rm2y5h4s2GJGZUp5j2aiTaKyzqzWZpTherlEAOa8A3cyD-3jFMmUZ-xgcLrfpDmxCqyfOjypkdkO8w8kUqimSBTW_vVRdDmP4xM2sR_TZFuRiB2xtPN5p5xuzuvZCOE7X9k8auKVHd597EcnUZP" width="223" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiEt7ggw4vlOqNR6YcyNBSxDNkF-paU4E0fUgGj1XSuEC9snp_VJHQBNva_1mfRCHX4EhI5rw4QVcpg5U0Rq41AGeLYD-N5LZP-6RJ8hgvKPjQWlGacfmGoULSDaSg9dlLn7uGRFYnCgoesEATLwDd45iYHwooBIY5BDu0ro1sscqir2sflT6n6v4lvI801" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiEt7ggw4vlOqNR6YcyNBSxDNkF-paU4E0fUgGj1XSuEC9snp_VJHQBNva_1mfRCHX4EhI5rw4QVcpg5U0Rq41AGeLYD-N5LZP-6RJ8hgvKPjQWlGacfmGoULSDaSg9dlLn7uGRFYnCgoesEATLwDd45iYHwooBIY5BDu0ro1sscqir2sflT6n6v4lvI801" width="320" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"></p><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">My Social Media Pledge to You:</span></b></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">1) I will never post anything I didn't write.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">2) I will never write LOL after anything I write. <i>You </i>determine the LOL, not me. <i>You </i>are the audience.*</span></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span><span style="background-color: white;">3) </span></span>I will give out LOLs in situations wherein I am the audience and I actually do laugh out loud at the comment. If I ever give anyone an LMFAO for something they have written, I will probably spend the rest of my life wondering why I did not marry them.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">4) I will never use the expression "Woot." I think it's pretty much beat now, but you can't be too careful.**</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">5) I will never make fun of anyone's appearance, except for certain right-wing Republicans who really <i>are </i>goofy looking. ***</span></p><div><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">6) I will never refer to anyone as "the Hubs," even if some day I ever actually have a "Hubs." That's kind of unlikely anyway.**</span></span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">7) I will never include the words <i>"But I digress"</i> in anything I write because roughly translated it means "I am including some stuff in this piece that I find interesting but doesn't at all belong here and I <i>suck </i>at editing!" ****</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">8) I will never use the expressions "Toodles" or "Anywho."**</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">9) I will never use the "f" word randomly and indiscriminately, but only when it is <i><b>absolutely </b></i>appropriate. ***** </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">10) I will never charge for the Oxford Comma. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">That's it, folks. Anything else is fair game.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkkkQB24NFYP53DkvhBxa8-RlCj9xJShQr1_xpMUISdSkAeHNBvfVg5u74UgAKr8ytDa01dbQpZGeMbzw2lmmpN3TkU5c_CL6tiHAloVzaTtm_ZOUQt3fRnv21RNgFw9DDmq9GZO6hNtGaMaZV8bZ0i7Jcc3fm4J7ZUzKTAtFcohxiU6i-CuctXpJYJpyJ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><img alt="" data-original-height="177" data-original-width="285" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkkkQB24NFYP53DkvhBxa8-RlCj9xJShQr1_xpMUISdSkAeHNBvfVg5u74UgAKr8ytDa01dbQpZGeMbzw2lmmpN3TkU5c_CL6tiHAloVzaTtm_ZOUQt3fRnv21RNgFw9DDmq9GZO6hNtGaMaZV8bZ0i7Jcc3fm4J7ZUzKTAtFcohxiU6i-CuctXpJYJpyJ=w317-h197" width="317" /></span></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><u><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Annotations</span></u></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 2.0in;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 106%;"><o:p>* It's kind of annoying when somebody writes LOL after something they write. </o:p></span>Really? <i>You're laughing at your own joke!</i> No disrespect, but <span style="line-height: 106%;"><o:p>I won't do that and and neither should you.</o:p></span> There, maybe I've helped you?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">** No comment necessary.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;"><o:p>*** Notice that the really good writers never fall prey to this writing faux pas. An excellent example is the well-known author Charles Dickens who could have begun his famous novel <i>A Tale of Two Cities</i> as follows: </o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEioVL9LYgNp4ji5MjXqEIvGC_db9Pib8pmmS5lXC0E_z8q_yGinOcet23Q7VyPifjtVjBQV6pk7i_OCJ5bgRTX4VzomPykJ2Bo2rkdEfzv2FnWfySH0KNAK4tFIu6KfftMrDPNjHo5KaF9KhXAfcUvFpi9tW-YFm3UKqh7q4h6LOUYf6djxvtxDxUCWUXy-" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvjteiif83Rf7e4NLoHhRSmNKmymlpKbrdjql0GLP0Oq86fBn54YWWL-IVbskRrqsEv7aYweu0VyeA5AlkcdQHe1UVDl5fmUTRbSkj94pjnhmyvWHXInbv-FEv8XcRgfN8qZrCPf0L8kOg8r-mJc6JpAMA2AWf9XNJsFGFIFbzUprP4eb9w9zUWiE23Y1a=w279-h208" style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;" width="279" /></a><img alt="" data-original-height="259" data-original-width="194" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEioVL9LYgNp4ji5MjXqEIvGC_db9Pib8pmmS5lXC0E_z8q_yGinOcet23Q7VyPifjtVjBQV6pk7i_OCJ5bgRTX4VzomPykJ2Bo2rkdEfzv2FnWfySH0KNAK4tFIu6KfftMrDPNjHo5KaF9KhXAfcUvFpi9tW-YFm3UKqh7q4h6LOUYf6djxvtxDxUCWUXy-" width="180" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: times; font-size: x-large; text-align: right;"> </span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, <i>and you could not help but hope for anything more delicious than my special Dutch Apple Cobbler, the recipe for which I shall reveal in a later chapter, but I digress, </i>it was the winter of despair."</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgSxwQZCLyRKmozEcJAzBm-vA51jg4QgxeW_VQI2g329nvmJsPBAdRFgGXAB7XLMkwtu2LvJ6y21Q9dhi_kfUvEUZhG-GrWMiBHAgw2gMzFvSE3nlftjLC1SJODFQOg1CVvIPY5_YTI-sKfS5T7IH_sqwYbIgperqyhXb3KFf6D4I9ld84YUIqRdunMPzUe" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="886" data-original-width="1600" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgSxwQZCLyRKmozEcJAzBm-vA51jg4QgxeW_VQI2g329nvmJsPBAdRFgGXAB7XLMkwtu2LvJ6y21Q9dhi_kfUvEUZhG-GrWMiBHAgw2gMzFvSE3nlftjLC1SJODFQOg1CVvIPY5_YTI-sKfS5T7IH_sqwYbIgperqyhXb3KFf6D4I9ld84YUIqRdunMPzUe=w243-h135" width="243" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvjteiif83Rf7e4NLoHhRSmNKmymlpKbrdjql0GLP0Oq86fBn54YWWL-IVbskRrqsEv7aYweu0VyeA5AlkcdQHe1UVDl5fmUTRbSkj94pjnhmyvWHXInbv-FEv8XcRgfN8qZrCPf0L8kOg8r-mJc6JpAMA2AWf9XNJsFGFIFbzUprP4eb9w9zUWiE23Y1a" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;">But he did not.</span><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">****Trump, Giuliani. I reserve the right to add to this list.<br /></span><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;">***** Got that, mother-fuckers?</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 106%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%;"><br /></p></div></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-5833151519643251812023-08-14T22:11:00.013-04:002023-09-23T22:55:33.447-04:00The Three Reasons Why Aliens from Space, Having Long Landed on Earth, Do Not Dare Contact Us <div class="separator"><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p></div><p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjGjk3naPYIxDa577rxn0vh7IJ77q95vukE3vp6tOA9s8Fae1p09mQ9Rk8RVMq3z59Dq8h1cDHriJPj2-ccj2BHy_0o6SP_6R7qDF9ShaMBce6sFkRkTD_pre8mwfruCzN9fwyJt0J9Z8If5sWXPqgauixlsPq8vxGFNS2wgkq1mXcNF7WCUXR2MGB21Awg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjGjk3naPYIxDa577rxn0vh7IJ77q95vukE3vp6tOA9s8Fae1p09mQ9Rk8RVMq3z59Dq8h1cDHriJPj2-ccj2BHy_0o6SP_6R7qDF9ShaMBce6sFkRkTD_pre8mwfruCzN9fwyJt0J9Z8If5sWXPqgauixlsPq8vxGFNS2wgkq1mXcNF7WCUXR2MGB21Awg=w377-h212" width="377" /></a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Hail, Zontar!</span></b></div><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">This is an official record of Earth Exhibition I reported on this Earth Day August 15, 2023.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span><span>As the High Council knows, prior to our arrival we </span><span>carefully and exhaustively studied the science of Planet Earth by monitoring video </span><span>broadcasts emanating from Earth during the years known </span></span><span>as the 1950s and since our arrival our continual viewing of those transmissions has confirmed the tragic fact that ou</span><span>r science cannot begin to match the science of Earth. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: large;">And Earth's science continues to be most thoroughly manifested by the Three Great Earth Masters!</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Think on it, Zontar! </span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;">Master Moe can strike Master Curly over Master Curly's head with the high tensile implement of human endeavor known as a "crowbar" without causing Master Curly's brain</span><span style="font-family: times;"> matter to be splattered hither and yon about the nearby environment and Master Curly to sacrifice </span><span style="font-family: times;">his life force.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Indeed Master Curly survives unscathed!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span><span style="font-family: times;">Yet another matter:</span><span style="font-family: times;"> if one of the Three Masters intones the words "pick out two" and then takes the </span><span style="font-family: times;">two chosen "fingers" of one "hand" of the human physiology and projects them into the other Master's two organs of visual acuity, the other Master's visual acuity is not lost or even diminished! </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: large;">And Master Curly! What is the meaning of the advanced aural sounding he renders, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5j8Jioan1w">as recorded here</a>? And how is it possible for him to morph over time from Master Curly into a wholly different physical lifeform known ever after as ... Master Shemp? </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;"><i>No, we cannot contact the earth creatures! </i> If they ever beheld us in all our</span><span style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b> </b>pathetic </span></span><span style="font-family: times; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;">awkwardness, they would no doubt attack us and probably annihilate us</span></span><span style="font-family: times;">. </span><span style="font-family: times;">For now we shall fly about Earth while we attempt to learn their science and hope we're not spotted.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: large;">I almost forgot the most incredible thing of all: Master Larry has unfathomable "hair" that stands straight upward from his cranial covering in total contravention of the Earth force known as gravity! </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: large;">How is it possible, Zontar?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: large;">No doubt about it, we of the Planet Krill are the slapstick laughing stocks of the universe.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjPe33Rbxi-1VKWTrC7U4RR1n5HWpjPJsoXERqgLdwRLp5fD0OVz-TsvGr7FsEHLGQXtVBTAZqTxLvWPH0GGoKm-EVKH3W04xOgOhEv1QLPHbEAZZL7Z2N9LHx1PjD2fgh5ixHjP8kQHdbUY5mamqs48fRb9QOjXbgNJx-n_ncphwiQNjXqHRGeHuthIa5w" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="196" data-original-width="347" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjPe33Rbxi-1VKWTrC7U4RR1n5HWpjPJsoXERqgLdwRLp5fD0OVz-TsvGr7FsEHLGQXtVBTAZqTxLvWPH0GGoKm-EVKH3W04xOgOhEv1QLPHbEAZZL7Z2N9LHx1PjD2fgh5ixHjP8kQHdbUY5mamqs48fRb9QOjXbgNJx-n_ncphwiQNjXqHRGeHuthIa5w=w375-h212" width="375" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /><br /></span><p></p>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-34403681973201884642023-08-12T11:43:00.006-04:002023-09-15T23:24:17.421-04:00I am the Lord Thy G-d and You Are My People Israel But Every Now and Then I Do Have a Tendency to Smite Left on You<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgRriJEi58Lh4SOtAEYwS99jwNQCLtw4BT4ivf_p1eAGPEYbzhdjcgVGtuZu4TduLBiTMRefx-zfYfYKTFlbrXL_yALJgoWrO4O3N7JCVkmsH2V7HH-ZAvmXTDBE3a2aZ2unDfA_T-i0OP9GYgXeFlh1SCZiQcbh7DZSKLWMlvtj8sNBnlEK1gS24hltpg6" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="230" height="361" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgRriJEi58Lh4SOtAEYwS99jwNQCLtw4BT4ivf_p1eAGPEYbzhdjcgVGtuZu4TduLBiTMRefx-zfYfYKTFlbrXL_yALJgoWrO4O3N7JCVkmsH2V7HH-ZAvmXTDBE3a2aZ2unDfA_T-i0OP9GYgXeFlh1SCZiQcbh7DZSKLWMlvtj8sNBnlEK1gS24hltpg6=w259-h361" width="259" /></a></div><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">It’s true.</span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;"><b><i>I am the Lord Thy G-d and You Are My People Israel. </i></b><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">It’s not that I don’t love you guys, I do. From the
time I first set eyes on Abraham, I’ve been madly in love with pretty much all
of you. I love Moses, I love Jesus, I do not particularly love
Barry Manilow, but that’s me.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">So why do I every now and then have my people Israel
worked over with brass knuckles by a couple of guys named Bruno and Rocco? <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">Metaphorically that is.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">You have to look at it from my perspective.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">I’ve been around for 13 or 14 billion years. For billions of years all I got to do for kicks
was watch unicellular life forms clumsily experiment with asexual reproduction,
and believe me it was not like watching modern day porno with your Stormy
Daniels. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">Finally at last came homo sapiens, but they’ve only been
around for 200,000 years, and you my people Israel for about 4,000 years. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">Over that time, I got kind of bored. I had to develop a hobby. And then one millennium I discovered <b><i>smiting</i></b> and found
it one hell of a lot more entertaining than watching unicellular life forms clumsily
experiment with asexual reproduction. So sometimes to keep me sane I just have
to <i>smite</i> left. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">And sometimes the smiting falls on you.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">Another thing that’s a little annoying. Stop worshipping me slavishly in synagogue
with the words: “Hear O Israel, the Lord our G-d, the Lord is One.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">Don’t you think I know I am “One?” I know there is nobody else like me. Hey, I look
to my right and I look to my left and all I see is a bunch of galaxies.
No dudes, no chicks.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">That’s part of the problem - You try 13 billion years with no
one to put your arms around at night. You
guys complain about bad blind dates? Who am I gonna date? Scarlett Johansson? She’s already married. To Colin Jost, a gentile yet!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">But you <i>are</i> my people Israel. Frankly I created
you because I wanted somebody to love. I
made you funny, I made you cute, I put you in charge of show business. True, I
made you not handy but that’s because I had zero interest in watching my people
Israel woodworking and installing kitchen cabinets. Me forbid I’d have to endure King David - the
guy who killed Goliath - setting up a workshop in his basement to thread
clipper ships into a glass bottle. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">But I pledge to you: I will always ultimately get you out of any tough jams or scrapes I may put you in. After all, you have survived and prospered for 4,000 years. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">You want me to send you a rainbow to seal the deal, I’ll do it!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And here’s the <i><a href="https://jel.jewish-languages.org/words/2018">Emes</a></i>: Despite what many of your
sages have said over the many years, there is a heaven! You <i>will</i> get eternal rewards. I’m proud to say I set that
up for you! Some of my best work. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I am the Lord Thy G-d and You Are My People Israel,
and</span><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">
</span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">I
love you, man.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;">Now, can one of you please go get me a corned beef special?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large; line-height: 107%;"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span><span><span>Well, this is my first attempt to writ</span><span>e a conceptual piece in the modern era. </span></span>Sure it's blasphemous but I think G-d, blessed be they, would be cool with it provided they </span>have a sense of humor and even exist, blessed be they.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><span>A</span><span>nd I had the misfortune of writing it shortly after this similar piece appeared in <i>Slackjaw:</i> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"> <a href="https://medium.com/slackjaw/im-god-and-i-m-releasing-an-uncensored-bible-featuring-even-more-sex-and-violence-5207e1871632">I'm God and I'm Releasing an Uncensored Bible Featuring Even More Sex and Violence</a></span></i></b></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: large;">I wrote mine before I saw this (I swear it!) but his one is pretty damn good and makes mine hold up about as well as Shelley Winters does right after Elizabeth Taylor shows up and sweeps Montgomery Clift off his feet in <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Place_in_the_Sun_(1951_film)">A Place in the Sun</a>.</i></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Anyway it's a start.</span></p>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-88680704600462308852023-08-05T09:29:00.002-04:002023-08-05T10:21:36.709-04:00Wasted on the Way<p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHQ2sZvEoNKBxBP9qOVXDE0bBP-cvpqWrRTTdAEq1qZaFpbnmSCU2tGhRPS40s6SqTy4q9nbAdkegzZHvJigdDFtQh5Kn7QJVb-Ub3ocAy1BR9pGEtQFQFnaWBTr-pRgH_9TCO7yUECZDmml759xAkk4bsepzVPKtF8Sg0EDPTgJsgQpC3s8BwlyEXS-TH" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="676" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHQ2sZvEoNKBxBP9qOVXDE0bBP-cvpqWrRTTdAEq1qZaFpbnmSCU2tGhRPS40s6SqTy4q9nbAdkegzZHvJigdDFtQh5Kn7QJVb-Ub3ocAy1BR9pGEtQFQFnaWBTr-pRgH_9TCO7yUECZDmml759xAkk4bsepzVPKtF8Sg0EDPTgJsgQpC3s8BwlyEXS-TH=w413-h233" width="413" /></a></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: times;">I've been toying with the idea </span><span style="font-family: times;">of starting up my blog again.</span></b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">I stopped writing it in 2018 when I felt I had simply run out of ideas. I was a little tired of writing about the fictionalized me - even though I like him a lot better than I like the real me - and I didn't seem to be able to hit the right notes to write modern day conceptual humor anymore. </span></p><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: times;">Simply put, millennials had taken over the hipper humor sites like </span><i style="font-family: times;">McSweeneys </i><span style="font-family: times;">and </span><i style="font-family: times;">Slackjaw</i><span style="font-family: times;">, and their humor is somewhat different than mine. I like what they do but I just cannot match the comedic perceptions they seem to be able to so effortlessly toss off. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Just take a look at the titles of a few of the posts on <i>McSweeneys </i>this morning: </div></span></span></div><p></p><h1 style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #fffefa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: 0.125em; line-height: 1.25em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; text-transform: uppercase;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/captain-ahabs-third-hour-playing-the-claw-machine-at-dave-busters">CAPTAIN AHAB’S THIRD HOUR PLAYING THE CLAW MACHINE AT DAVE & BUSTER’S</a></span></h1><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><h1 style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #fffefa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: 0.125em; line-height: 1.25em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; text-transform: uppercase;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/this-summer-im-gonna-totally-bang-emily-dickinson">THIS SUMMER, I’M GONNA TOTALLY BANG EMILY DICKINSON </a></span></h1><h1 style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #fffefa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: 0.125em; line-height: 1.25em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; text-transform: uppercase;"><br /></h1><h1 style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #fffefa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: 0.125em; line-height: 1.25em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-a-four-year-old-on-prednisone-and-im-about-to-bench-press-this-power-wheels" style="font-family: times; letter-spacing: 0.125em;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'M A FOUR YEAR OLD ON PREDNISONE, AND I'M ABOUT TO BENCH PRESS THIS POWER WHEELS</span></a></h1><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And me, folks, remember I grew up in an era when people thought Milton Berle wearing a dress was hilarious. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"></span></p><h1 style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #fffefa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: 0.125em; line-height: 1.25em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; text-transform: uppercase;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><img alt="" data-original-height="253" data-original-width="199" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhSar4s14F9JiPKV5sV4uCjl9sdeiTvGxngw-g4TslutANN13R-_VbADMkHEwNvk4cberFwxAjJ3uOnPQSS9RDJ_fX73lmqgGmKUPhgPLPrCJkxD0Nn3sAkBbRbPsH5Ei4Onxr-8yFHSABYy_gg4bfSrrD8O-afOaPF8Vr0J3qdAraVQAIhwWkf06iWpl1A=w186-h235" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: times; font-size: x-large;" width="186" /></span></h1><p></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Even though I think I wouldn't mind banging Emily Dickinson.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgNYlAya8C0wLnRmV0PkqvtXp_7gSra0IRnlY8GEWHOLqhMHmfgu12m4Q1rph5Nlt-OM-243QJmjU9JvUo9qW3So3B5F7uAsLE5p-YEOA7yxzjbPPif-7y_Cgwpj685QqT18ES9NGBHAQVw4dkLqklwBlMqbmXIHgV5Im2AN_l7MqxxtEnopUml5LjmwBBl" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img alt="" data-original-height="189" data-original-width="267" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgNYlAya8C0wLnRmV0PkqvtXp_7gSra0IRnlY8GEWHOLqhMHmfgu12m4Q1rph5Nlt-OM-243QJmjU9JvUo9qW3So3B5F7uAsLE5p-YEOA7yxzjbPPif-7y_Cgwpj685QqT18ES9NGBHAQVw4dkLqklwBlMqbmXIHgV5Im2AN_l7MqxxtEnopUml5LjmwBBl=w241-h171" width="241" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">So I stopped writing humor and basically spent my time watching cable news and drooling over the numerous hot women reporting the news on CNN and MSNBC. <br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">OMG, look at Natasha Bertrand!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhDiUGOd9vF3eGinV8YpeoFQvd0Zi5ru_0EiUMHROEn6wlQEa-NpGMvozP2EVWy-QLwukPwDySSJBlcOFY9cXT6UCxG0P2HR4CVVRNMEXc-fL2jtlPqLaMsgyBeVEIXBIyb5UCDzOfS2j7fgeDHrLai2vtNUdShupvXwL0r4ZUNbDZXsy9nM9-7kdefj5M7" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="244" data-original-width="206" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhDiUGOd9vF3eGinV8YpeoFQvd0Zi5ru_0EiUMHROEn6wlQEa-NpGMvozP2EVWy-QLwukPwDySSJBlcOFY9cXT6UCxG0P2HR4CVVRNMEXc-fL2jtlPqLaMsgyBeVEIXBIyb5UCDzOfS2j7fgeDHrLai2vtNUdShupvXwL0r4ZUNbDZXsy9nM9-7kdefj5M7" width="203" /></a></span></div><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And me, folks, remember I grew up in an era when people thought the hottest babe on television news was Walter Cronkite.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhREXYYuvGo9IFkcisl-562TI4-Cr9DP4nnmtC9mSMlmX1VcYaRjCF_h_3xJI7ob0LPohrFO15HXrREckvqO92eXUb7Y_H8hToEoKmz-OHQNMnSlh6qyDP-lpS1MxlwbFJtjdFRlxDz1gxWvvHMpOy8KjpBZX8vLrROAH2eEItxfMUo8QC770RL-EHxjEgN" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img data-original-height="168" data-original-width="299" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhREXYYuvGo9IFkcisl-562TI4-Cr9DP4nnmtC9mSMlmX1VcYaRjCF_h_3xJI7ob0LPohrFO15HXrREckvqO92eXUb7Y_H8hToEoKmz-OHQNMnSlh6qyDP-lpS1MxlwbFJtjdFRlxDz1gxWvvHMpOy8KjpBZX8vLrROAH2eEItxfMUo8QC770RL-EHxjEgN=w262-h148" width="262" /></span></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">But some time has passed, and I have grown ever more acutely aware of some rather unpleasant realities:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i><span>There are so many things I didn't do, didn't say, didn't follow through on, and so on and so forth. There's a lot more "</span>didn'ts<span>" than "</span>dids<span>."</span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i>You can't fix nothin' in the past.</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><i>Regret is a bitch. And in my case an army of bitches.</i></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg-Qdrr3XSk"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Yep, I am older now and there is so much time to make </span><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">up everywhere I turn, time I have wasted on the way</span></a></p><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjSbZF5IbqI4rnVybenazTa28BIReqOVp8N29DsqWNrW9VN_DvjDLDPgVMWCZUJiB2ojuW4rEOeoUlRJVu5ua3rkD3XaV9_ExRXJ8VQX9x_tYsNYlyeVXCyebFcWCSLE9pBKVKF-_gld0FgCQ0CRS4UTrWfc_T4YG4jM93IMi0tF2N0moXTg9-J5ErmJIHD" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1985" data-original-width="3000" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjSbZF5IbqI4rnVybenazTa28BIReqOVp8N29DsqWNrW9VN_DvjDLDPgVMWCZUJiB2ojuW4rEOeoUlRJVu5ua3rkD3XaV9_ExRXJ8VQX9x_tYsNYlyeVXCyebFcWCSLE9pBKVKF-_gld0FgCQ0CRS4UTrWfc_T4YG4jM93IMi0tF2N0moXTg9-J5ErmJIHD" width="320" /></span></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><span style="font-family: times;">So, maybe I start writing again. Ain't gonna cure any of the above but can't hurt.</span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">But what about the name of this blog: <i>Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute?</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">Actually I kind of dislike the name because it seems rather corny and overly cutesy to me these days and it sure isn't relevant for someone for whom 70 is in the rear view mirror and liver spots are their most distinguishing features. But it's what I started with and I guess I'll keep it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">And maybe one day I'll write a post like:</span></p><h1 style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: 0.125em; line-height: 1.25em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; text-transform: uppercase;"><span style="background-color: #fffefa; color: #212121; font-family: times; font-size: large;"> on bloomsday in 2023 i had an epiphany and now i'm living in the last chapter of james joyce's ulysses and all i can say is "yes i said yes i will yes!"</span></h1><div><span style="background-color: #fffefa; color: #212121; font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"> </span><img alt="" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgebQtMCqG7Z11Xdx2Mg9DiP15nMybj-OJMxNtTyqs7tqGRFnYDCyuvjNoJfp44Ypehxto-Yk1WgqWWwCn8MpDlng67K19hXYT9vKF1_28V41NB8AelXK_dHXlTJjsCMYz5-j0pkBa3FGPmin6mWlynbTMULzaAI4TOONrBhF3p8Q3tGRUR77CWBI4-zIfv" width="240" /></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">Nah, not millennial enough.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times; font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /></span><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></span></div>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-16080622662134040062019-02-04T05:37:00.000-05:002020-05-15T10:16:46.854-04:00Now's the Time to Say Goodbye<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfTmAwlhyG8UPojEBvyHL7wsfBvIEZbZChqw7aZYflCgye_SrIF4x2DMq7itWeHHoRoF_psIoIfmNrgZAVa-M1SIY92vdGpRsvdbcGcmOMAOyAA1PLgiOsAuUM1gPdah7BZO7k0DC6DygJ/s1600/Perry+processed+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="219" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfTmAwlhyG8UPojEBvyHL7wsfBvIEZbZChqw7aZYflCgye_SrIF4x2DMq7itWeHHoRoF_psIoIfmNrgZAVa-M1SIY92vdGpRsvdbcGcmOMAOyAA1PLgiOsAuUM1gPdah7BZO7k0DC6DygJ/s1600/Perry+processed+2.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">I think it may be the time to put the wraps on my blog Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</span></i>. I've advanced the character about as far as I can after almost 900 posts, a pretty good sign it's time to call it quits. If anyone is interested in what happens to <i>Perry Block</i>, it's really all in <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank">my book by the same name </a></span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">(Perry Block - Nouveau </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Old, Formerly Cute</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">) </span></i></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">which takes the character through a significant part of his Baby Boomer life more or less to the current day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As I've said in the past, <i>Perry Block</i> in the blog is not the same as I am. Though not particularly confident, he's more confident than I am, more freewheeling, and - totally unlike me - somewhat conniving. It's odd, but now that it's over, I have to say that </span><br />
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<i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></i>
<i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><b>I kind of miss him.</b></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Go figure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Anyway, to the degree I may write Parodies or Satires in the future unrelated to "Perry Block," they will be on various websites throughout the web, and maybe I'll post some of them here. Two fairly recent ones on <i>Slackjaw </i>are:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://medium.com/slackjaw/the-book-of-genesis-as-condensed-and-revised-for-humanists-d35cb44b17cf" target="_blank">The Book of Genesis as Condensed and Revised for Humanists</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://medium.com/slackjaw/how-to-work-effectively-from-your-home-office-when-godzilla-attacks-86d6e3df4b2b" target="_blank">How to Work Effectively from Your Home Office When Godzilla Attacks </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'd like to thank all those who have read my blog over all these years and told me they liked it as well as anyone who's read it all whether they communicated with me or not. There are many people I'd like to thank individually for their support but they are far too numerous to mention. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I appreciate you all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you are a Baby Boomer, please do your best to enjoy these not necessarily inherently enjoyable years. And don't let anyone refer to you as a "Senior." <i> You are a Baby Boomer! </i>Any further age-descriptive name is bogus and unnecessary.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />To the best degree you can, don't leave anything on the table. Go after what you want even if you have to go out of your Comfort Zone to get it. And if you don't have someone to wrap your arms around at night, do everything you can to find that someone as soon as possible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I think that might be the most important thing I have to say of all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And if you're younger, be you Millennial or Gen X, enjoy your years ahead. They go fast. Before long you'll be recoiling </span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">like a vampire</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">at the sight of mirrors just like we do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Got that, mother-fuckers?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Take care, </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">everyone</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">. Be good, but not too good. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bye-Bye, all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div>
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Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-66522151072926448622018-12-30T15:49:00.003-05:002023-07-31T15:10:19.200-04:00<div class="post hentry" itemprop="blogPost" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/BlogPosting" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 12.6px; min-height: 0px; position: relative;">
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Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</h3>
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<b style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</a></i></span></b><br />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><b style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></b><b>The Book</b></a></span></b></div>
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<b style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">by <a href="http://www.perryblock.com/p/flash-fiction.html" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Perry Block</a></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3BoGKO6Yxreqlc9PURVL8FIlFOU2RSDO81B_JcEoVCY1LFPzLP2nSj4cZ3oWrX2F1u9KUqXMvkZIojvAUgLJcVN3XWzMX9cXEYLYMC6BtGbDU2sNhyphenhypheniTNS9RlhI2qBt5NuH3VZpCBH8UA/s1600/Cover+5.jpg" style="color: #771000; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration-line: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="338" data-original-width="225" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3BoGKO6Yxreqlc9PURVL8FIlFOU2RSDO81B_JcEoVCY1LFPzLP2nSj4cZ3oWrX2F1u9KUqXMvkZIojvAUgLJcVN3XWzMX9cXEYLYMC6BtGbDU2sNhyphenhypheniTNS9RlhI2qBt5NuH3VZpCBH8UA/s400/Cover+5.jpg" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLQox8e9688" target="_blank"><span style="color: #771000;">I may dig a pygmy</span>,</a> but these folks dig</span></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><b><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><u><i>Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute:</i></u></span></b></span><br />
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #111111;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="color: black;">"<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif">Perry has the wit, wisdom, voice timbre and cadence of a young Dick Cavett. (To call Perry a "young" anything is my gift to Perry.) I knew this about Mr. Block 40 years ago when we first met. And his writing reconfirms it." - </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="color: #222222;"><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Cowan" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Andy Cowan</a></b>, </span></span></span></span></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #111111;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #222222;">comedy writer for <i>Seinfeld </i>(including the iconic episode <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y_6fZGSOQI" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Opposite</a></i>)</span></span></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> <i>Cheers</i>, <i>3rd Rock from the Sun,</i> and more, and author of the comedy memoir </span><span class="m_-4440106606802662037m_-8099142315184663306gmail-a-size-large" id="m_-4440106606802662037m_-8099142315184663306gmail-productTitle" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; line-height: 1.3;"><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Banging-My-Head-Against-Wall/dp/1684330130/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525620946&sr=1-1&keywords=andy+cowan" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Banging My Head Against the Wall: A Comedy Writer's Guide to Seeing Stars</a>, </i>foreword by Jay Leno.</span></span><br />
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #111111;">"This book was totally relatable, funny, and yes, really poignant ... I appreciate Perry's wit and fight. He's not going gently into that good night. Neither am I. <i>Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</i> is a great read!" - </span><a href="http://www.micheleyoung-stone.com/" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><b>Michele Young-Stone</b></a><span style="background: white; color: #111111;">, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a1a;">Simon & Schuster</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a1a;"> published </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">author of </span><i style="color: #111111;">The Ha</i></span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">ndbook of Lightning Strike Survivors, Above Us Only Sky, </i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">and </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Lost in the Beehive <a href="http://www.oprah.com/book/best-books-may-2018-lost-in-the-beehive?editors_pick_id=73102" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">(selected by Oprah's Book Club)</a> </i></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">“Perry Block offers up his ideas about advancing age in a funny and clever series of delightful musings … Perry brings his wit and wisdom to some everyday situations which will guarantee that you'll not only relate, but you'll be laughing out loud… By all means, buy it, read it, laugh out loud, and enjoy." - </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Ross-Davis/e/B00BNKKR90" style="color: #771000; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><b>Joy Ross Davis</b></a><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">, author of</span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Emalyn's Treasure, The Devereaux Jewel, Mother, Can You Hear Me?, </i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">and more.</span><br />
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">“Perry Block has gathered a collection of his hilarious articles and essays on the joys of being a Boomer in the 21st century. He takes his readers along a desperate path of trying to turn back the clock. Seriously, you will laugh until your sides ache.”- </span></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><a href="http://kdmccrite.com/" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><b>K.D. McCrite</b></a>, </span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">author of the </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span id="goog_1499582445"></span>Confessions of April Grace<span id="goog_1499582446"></span> </i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">and </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Further Confessions of April Grace </i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">series of books, and more.</span><br />
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">“</span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background: white; color: #111111;">A funny (often laugh out loud funny) charmingly self-deprecating series of short pieces about aging, modern culture, pop culture then and now, and an eclectic variety of other topics … I felt like I got to know the author (who would likely make a highly entertaining dinner companion) while I read. Really enjoyable." - </span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><a href="http://www.debrasnider.com/" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><b>Debra Snider</b></a>, author of </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Lost Wyoming,</i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"> <i>A Merger of Equals</i>, and more.</span><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><br /></span></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white;">"Perry Block hates cheese. </span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white;">If that’s not enough reason to read this collection of humorous essays chronicling the inevitable life of an aging 67 year-old Baby Boomer then I don’t know what is. </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white;"> is a laugh-out-</span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white;">loud cautionary tale about not taking creeping old age lying down (unless it’s nap time)."- </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0390998/" style="color: #771000; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><b>Don Holley</b></a><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white;">, screenwriter of </span><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon </i><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white;">and author of </span><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Half-Loaded-humorous-Hollywood-misdemeanors-ebook/dp/B016YYJI26/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525621038&sr=1-1&keywords=don+holley" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Half-Loaded: A Humorous Hollywood Memoir</a>. </i><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </i><br />
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="color: #990000; font-size: medium; font-weight: 700;"><i>Perry Block </i></span><b style="color: #990000; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i>- Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</i></span></b><br />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></b><b style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">The Book</b></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white;">Like you, Perry Block is a Baby Boomer who turned around one day in 1978 and suddenly found himself 40 years later at an age he always thought was exclusively reserved for people’s parents. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white;">Through a series of often hilarious essays, Perry tries to make sense of it all, aided by his son Brandon and a host of other real and fictitious characters, including Batman, Cupid, the Legendary Jewish Vampire Vlad the Retailer, Richard Nixon, Moses, and more. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white;">Every Boomer concern is here - aging angst, fatherhood, the singles life, friendships, fading looks and physicality, social trends, the1960’s, drugs, religion, Judaism, the writing life, parody and satire, self-deprecation, and the nagging worry that not only has he measured his life in coffee spoons, frequently the coffee hasn’t even been hot.</span></span><br />
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b>Available at <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Amazon </a>& <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/nouveau-old-formerly-cute-perry-block/1127818444" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Barnes & Noble</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000;"><br /></span></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000;"><b>Now also Available at the </b></span></span></span><br />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #771000; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.narberthbookshop.com/" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Narberth Bookshop</a> in Narberth PA</span></b><br />
in<br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</b></span></span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b>I'm Ready for My Close-up, Mr. DeMillions of Readers</b></span></span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b><a href="http://www.perryblock.com/p/flash-fiction.html" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Perry's Interview is clickable here.</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000;"><br /></span></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000;"><b style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000;"><br /></span></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000;"><b>You Can Also Follow Perry On</b></span></span></span><br />
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b><a href="https://twitter.com/PerryBlock" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/perry.block1/">Instagram</a>, and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/perry.block" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Facebook</a></b></span></span></div>
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<b style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b><br />
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<span class="post-author vcard" style="margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 1em;">Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"><a class="g-profile" data-gapiattached="true" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237" rel="author" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Perry Block</span> </a></span></span><span class="post-timestamp" style="margin-left: -1em; margin-right: 1em;">at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://www.perryblock.com/2018/09/perry-block-nouveau-old-formerly-cute.html" rel="bookmark" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" style="border: none;" title="2018-09-26T23:30:00-04:00">11:30 PM</abbr></a> </span><span class="post-comment-link" style="margin-right: 1em;"></span><span class="post-icons" style="margin-right: 1em;"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=4892510436199255267&postID=5852393810793070378" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" style="border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-style: none !important; border-width: initial; border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.5em; position: relative; vertical-align: middle;" width="18" /> </a></span><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1955156282" style="display: inline;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=4892510436199255267&postID=5852393810793070378&from=pencil" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="18" src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" style="border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-style: none !important; border-width: initial; border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.5em; position: relative; vertical-align: middle;" width="18" /> </a></span></span><br />
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<h4 style="font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px 0px; position: relative;">
7 comments:</h4>
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<dt class="comment-author" id="c4515453227171646684" style="background-position: 0px 1.5em; border-top: none; font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c4515453227171646684"></a><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; margin: 0.2em 0px 0px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr"><a href="http://russellgayer.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target=""><img alt="" height="35" src="http://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px; position: relative;" title="Russell" width="35" /></a></span></div>
<a href="http://russellgayer.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;">Russell</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-4515453227171646684" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;">Perry,<br />
<br />
Great News! I had a pop-up on my computer this morning that said ABBA was releasing two new songs. One entitled, "Nouveau" something and the other "Dancing with a Formerly Cute Queen."<br />
<br />
I thought I'd let you know since you'd been busy covering the Bill Cosby trial. Did you get any tips from Bill on how to get women in the sack?<br />
<br />
Now that you're a famous author, Havertown will become the new literary Mecca visiting just to wash their clothes in one of the laundrymats where you hung a flyer. Maybe they'll even put up one of those historical markers, "Perry Block once posted here."<br />
<br />
Loved the testimonials my friend.</dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://www.perryblock.com/2018/09/perry-block-nouveau-old-formerly-cute.html?showComment=1524835791189#c4515453227171646684" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="comment permalink">April 27, 2018 at 9:29 AM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1959362821" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=4892510436199255267&postID=4515453227171646684" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author blog-author" id="c7408666520403844589" style="background-position: 0px 1.5em; border-top: 1px dashed rgba(128, 128, 128, 0.5); font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px; padding-top: 1.5em;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c7408666520403844589"></a><div class="avatar-image-container vcard" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; margin: 0.2em 0px 0px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr"><a class="avatar-hovercard" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237" id="av-7408666520403844589-13439590071776264237" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target=""><img alt="" class="delayLoad" height="35" longdesc="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrLR3A59a8raMnGvdG9qGoCdzSQod6fbX5yMLZA9Cp2nSgBVzyUhpF8wSOu2CEI8zpdBGAOF-0ERNQFi8g_7Pl8uaG3Xg3lJzIfd4zNmCHI7Bz3qvoLEPpYtfsf0kqmuSPLvTh2BEvrmM/s35/*" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrLR3A59a8raMnGvdG9qGoCdzSQod6fbX5yMLZA9Cp2nSgBVzyUhpF8wSOu2CEI8zpdBGAOF-0ERNQFi8g_7Pl8uaG3Xg3lJzIfd4zNmCHI7Bz3qvoLEPpYtfsf0kqmuSPLvTh2BEvrmM/s35/*" style="border: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; position: relative;" title="Perry Block" width="35" /></a></span></div>
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;">Perry Block</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-7408666520403844589" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;">It will probably say "Perry Block washed his underwear here, but there was not enough bleach. For him, there could never be enough bleach."<br />
<br />
Havertown is indeed the new literary Mecca and I am its Gertrude Stein. I believe Hemingway shows great promise, but Fitzgerald must exhibit more passion. His "Great Gatsby," while promising, is fated to be made into three awful movies, one with Leonardo di Caprio.<br />
<br />
As for ABBA, they are the greatest musical group since the super group of Beethoven, Tschaikowsky, Prokofiev,and Stevie Winwood. What a shame that when Stevie Winwood broke up the group to form Traffic, poor Beethoven rolled over when he had to tell Tschaikowsky the news.<br />
<br />
Thanks for writing, Russell!</dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://www.perryblock.com/2018/09/perry-block-nouveau-old-formerly-cute.html?showComment=1524931687121#c7408666520403844589" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="comment permalink">April 28, 2018 at 12:08 PM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1955156282" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=4892510436199255267&postID=7408666520403844589" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author" id="c5369035327337872698" style="background-position: 0px 1.5em; border-top: 1px dashed rgba(128, 128, 128, 0.5); font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px; padding-top: 1.5em;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c5369035327337872698"></a><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; margin: 0.2em 0px 0px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr"><a href="http://russellgayer.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target=""><img alt="" height="35" src="http://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px; position: relative;" title="Russell Gayer" width="35" /></a></span></div>
<a href="http://russellgayer.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;">Russell Gayer</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-5369035327337872698" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;">I liked Traffic too, except for the kind where I have to select all the cars to post a comment and prove I'm not a robot on this blog.<br />
My favorite song of theirs was "John Barleycorn Must get Drunk to Read Nouveau Old, Former Cute."</dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://www.perryblock.com/2018/09/perry-block-nouveau-old-formerly-cute.html?showComment=1525364597296#c5369035327337872698" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="comment permalink">May 3, 2018 at 12:23 PM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1959362821" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=4892510436199255267&postID=5369035327337872698" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author blog-author" id="c5210026554330037175" style="background-position: 0px 1.5em; border-top: 1px dashed rgba(128, 128, 128, 0.5); font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px; padding-top: 1.5em;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c5210026554330037175"></a><div class="avatar-image-container vcard" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; margin: 0.2em 0px 0px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr"><a class="avatar-hovercard" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237" id="av-5210026554330037175-13439590071776264237" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target=""><img alt="" class="delayLoad" height="35" longdesc="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrLR3A59a8raMnGvdG9qGoCdzSQod6fbX5yMLZA9Cp2nSgBVzyUhpF8wSOu2CEI8zpdBGAOF-0ERNQFi8g_7Pl8uaG3Xg3lJzIfd4zNmCHI7Bz3qvoLEPpYtfsf0kqmuSPLvTh2BEvrmM/s35/*" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrLR3A59a8raMnGvdG9qGoCdzSQod6fbX5yMLZA9Cp2nSgBVzyUhpF8wSOu2CEI8zpdBGAOF-0ERNQFi8g_7Pl8uaG3Xg3lJzIfd4zNmCHI7Bz3qvoLEPpYtfsf0kqmuSPLvTh2BEvrmM/s35/*" style="border: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; position: relative;" title="Perry Block" width="35" /></a></span></div>
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;">Perry Block</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-5210026554330037175" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;">Is there still a problem? Is that why I get virtually no comments? I thought the reason was that the one guy who does write was scaring everyone else away! I guess the reason remains as elusive as "the low spark of high-heeled boys," and if I get any shorter I'm soon going to need to be a "high-heeled boy."</dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://www.perryblock.com/2018/09/perry-block-nouveau-old-formerly-cute.html?showComment=1525372543669#c5210026554330037175" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="comment permalink">May 3, 2018 at 2:35 PM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1955156282" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=4892510436199255267&postID=5210026554330037175" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author" id="c7043074245943918183" style="background-position: 0px 1.5em; border-top: 1px dashed rgba(128, 128, 128, 0.5); font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px; padding-top: 1.5em;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c7043074245943918183"></a><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; margin: 0.2em 0px 0px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr"><a href="http://russellgayer.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target=""><img alt="" height="35" src="http://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px; position: relative;" title="Russell" width="35" /></a></span></div>
<a href="http://russellgayer.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;">Russell</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-7043074245943918183" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;">Yes, Blogspot is continually a problem. I just spent 5 minutes crafting a particularly clever response on another Blogspot site only to have it disappear when I clicked "publish your comment." I even hit the refresh button to see if it took, but it's not there. I didn't have the time or energy to leave another comment (which probably wouldn't take either).<br />
<br />
There are probably some Wordpress meet-ups near you. I attended one in Fayetteville recently and met someone who could help me with my site.<br />
<br />
BTW - I think elevator shoes might be a good option for you. Plus, you should get one of those fedoras like Truman Capote used to wear.</dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://www.perryblock.com/2018/09/perry-block-nouveau-old-formerly-cute.html?showComment=1526043689039#c7043074245943918183" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="comment permalink">May 11, 2018 at 9:01 AM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1959362821" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=4892510436199255267&postID=7043074245943918183" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author" id="c1518251173311582681" style="background-position: 0px 1.5em; border-top: 1px dashed rgba(128, 128, 128, 0.5); font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px; padding-top: 1.5em;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c1518251173311582681"></a><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; margin: 0.2em 0px 0px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr"><a href="http://trendzic.com/natural-diuretics-for-cats-remedies-digestion/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target=""><img alt="" height="35" src="http://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px; position: relative;" title="Elena" width="35" /></a></span></div>
<a href="http://trendzic.com/natural-diuretics-for-cats-remedies-digestion/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;">Elena</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-1518251173311582681" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;">Sure the gift is appreciated - forever young.</dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://www.perryblock.com/2018/09/perry-block-nouveau-old-formerly-cute.html?showComment=1526048051563#c1518251173311582681" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="comment permalink">May 11, 2018 at 10:14 AM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-247355103" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=4892510436199255267&postID=1518251173311582681" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd></dl>
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Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-36897662743415293002018-12-08T00:59:00.000-05:002018-12-08T01:10:45.752-05:00God Friended Me<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtlndocOS4GWUyRXtJkFX5klqcIgjaZqrWZr3MJqUn5BchAs8OUoe_nRlir83MN3QjYwAh2oVNz7mN9K_ef55teXr1FKyb8m97LWpBZxcH1XLXjIsS9W8lI2BY7QC6kYhM5O9Ow-QPaaqL/s1600/god-friended-me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="408" data-original-width="726" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtlndocOS4GWUyRXtJkFX5klqcIgjaZqrWZr3MJqUn5BchAs8OUoe_nRlir83MN3QjYwAh2oVNz7mN9K_ef55teXr1FKyb8m97LWpBZxcH1XLXjIsS9W8lI2BY7QC6kYhM5O9Ow-QPaaqL/s320/god-friended-me.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">OMG! Look at this!</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“What?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“God just friended me!"`<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Oh, come on! <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I</i> just about barely friend you.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Yeah, why is that?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Uhh --- I have standards.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Nevertheless, God just friended me!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Let me see …. Wow you’re right!"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Of course I’m right! Look at the mighty beard, look at that
celestial glow, look at those white robes washed in Clorox!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Bet he could work a terrific miracle, like turn Facebook into not a huge waste of time.”</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“I told you!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“And boy does he look Jewish! Well, let’s see what he
wants”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“No way. I’m not friending him!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Why not? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Why
not?!"<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Yeah, why not?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“The Holocaust, World Wars I and II, the Crusades, hurricanes,
infant mortality, the Inquisition, AIDs, death itself, ABBA …” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Know what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re
right!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“I’m deleting him right now!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“But then….there’ll be no TV show.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Yep, and there’s your real miracle.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“What?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“One less annoying television show to waste our time
with.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-41860984235043713582018-11-28T21:16:00.000-05:002018-11-28T21:41:20.286-05:00Oh, Wouldn't That Be Neighborly!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijm10BziRPxYBxwg_eEwwj6PrmDfaWj9li2nM6wjVaa7h8qZQuev_tSqN7-qHWSKYMg3hi3CEc-3n0pv4rCfF9-EvuDkgllGDepxoJ5tOy8vRMBqE4nFWH1YtI_GSDv8DxDqivJ8fJCH6l/s1600/neighbors.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="341" data-original-width="512" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijm10BziRPxYBxwg_eEwwj6PrmDfaWj9li2nM6wjVaa7h8qZQuev_tSqN7-qHWSKYMg3hi3CEc-3n0pv4rCfF9-EvuDkgllGDepxoJ5tOy8vRMBqE4nFWH1YtI_GSDv8DxDqivJ8fJCH6l/s400/neighbors.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">I like to be neighborly.</span></i></b> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially when
new neighbors move in and you want to make a nice impression in the hopes you
and they might become good friends.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Hi, Perry,” said new neighbor Jane Buxbaum standing
at my doorway early one evening.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Jane!” I exclaimed,” good to see you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come in.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“I’d love to,“ she replied,” but I can’t right now. I
wanted to ask you if you have a corkscrew we can borrow?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Of course I do,” I said, going to the kitchen,
securing it and handing it to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“And you need not be in any hurry to give it back
either,” I said. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew Jane and
her husband Tom were just setting up housekeeping so I understood they may
lacking in some household essentials.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of days
later, husband Tom was at the door.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Hey, Perry, Jane and I are making soup today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wonder if I can borrow a large pot, a stirring
spoon, whatever appropriate seasonings you have, and a tureen?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Well, why not?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anything to be neighborly. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And about the corkscrew that Tom was clearly <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> returning while borrowing the large
pot, stirring spoon, whatever seasonings I had, and the tureen … well, I did
tell Jane not to be in a hurry to give it back.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Here ya go, Tom,” I said, gathering everything up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“No rush getting these back.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Perry!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks
for all your great help.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Next day both of them were back at my door.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Oh, you guys!” I said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I told you there was no rush in giving the corkscrew,
soup pot, stirring spoon, seasonings, and tureen back.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Oh, yes, we know that and we thank you,” gushed Jane.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“But that’s not why we’re here,” Tom said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“No?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“We’re having both of our families over for dinner
tonight.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“How lovely.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“So … may we borrow your dining room table, please?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Excuse me?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Your dining room table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here, I’ll help you lift it.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“But …. But…”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“We may have to
take off the legs to get it through the doorway," said Tom, "but never fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I brought a saw and I have glue at home.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Over the next several days the Buxbaums were frequently
at my door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And out my door and over to the
Buxbaums went all the furniture in the living room, my pool table, and the powder
room toilet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had to face it. People do sometimes take advantage
of me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to watch for that from now
on. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I decided to start right away.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I marched over to the Buxbaums’s house.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Jane, Tom,” I said in a strong tone of voice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Yes, neighbor?” Tom replied.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“I want my corkscrew back and I want it right now!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You know what? They returned the corkscrew
forthwith!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Being assertive works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No doubt about it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It’s two months later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am living in a tent in my back yard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s cold and muddy and I could use a shower and a hot meal.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I’m not the best at being assertive, no doubt about
it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But at being neighborly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I’m the best! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU1yXnWwinB2GAuypGHEEjPrAhtN3zV9n1pl2IvViIRLh4AdH4Weag_7bjID4WLVE4Nhrc6XUVEhbjYTKFKy9brBJqWNTFBOGFgSR71Y5hyM3d-4GLnkwqg2TuMlqcFKTUeiyN543jwe94/s1600/tent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="831" data-original-width="1024" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU1yXnWwinB2GAuypGHEEjPrAhtN3zV9n1pl2IvViIRLh4AdH4Weag_7bjID4WLVE4Nhrc6XUVEhbjYTKFKy9brBJqWNTFBOGFgSR71Y5hyM3d-4GLnkwqg2TuMlqcFKTUeiyN543jwe94/s320/tent.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;">P.S. If you liked this post, you'll love my book <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute. </a></i></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;">If you hated this post, you'll still love my book </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute. </a></i><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;">Why? That's just the way it works!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.86px;"><br /></span>Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-84572234274698285242018-11-11T23:05:00.000-05:002018-11-11T23:05:45.358-05:00Trump and the Genie who Looks Like Matthew Whitaker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">And Trump rubbed the lamp and there appeared a genie.</span></b></i><br />
<br />
"Oy! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck!" said the Genie.<br />
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"I guess all genies say that," thought Trump.<br />
<br />
"Welcome, Genie with the light lack of hair!" said Trump. "I am Donald Trump, your new master who has just rubbed the lamp."<br />
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"I knew it was you. You rubbed me so hard I was considering hitting up Michael Cohen for money to keep it quiet."<br />
<br />
"You know, you look like somebody else I've considered to be sort of my genie," said Trump.<br />
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"I know," said the genie. "Difference is that I'm qualified."<br />
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"Do I get three wishes, Genie? " asked Trump.<br />
<br />
"You do, of course, that's the law. Not that you usually pay attention to laws."<br />
<br />
"Well, first get rid of the Mueller probe."<br />
<br />
"Done! Mueller right now is writing a report stating you were a double agent for the United States who befriended Putin so our intelligence services could learn as much possible about his plans."<br />
<br />
"Cool! Never thought of that one."<br />
<br />
"That's why I'm a genie."<br />
<br />
"Second: I want all women who have accused me of sexual harassment to shut up."<br />
<br />
"That's going to take some work. How about I just do the ones from A-G?"<br />
<br />
"No, I need everyone from A through X. Damn, wish I knew the alphabet! Maybe I should call Betsy Devos?"<br />
<br />
"Probably wouldn't help .... Okay, working on it .... still on it ..... not done yet .... <i>twins </i>in American Samoa? what a creep you are! .... all of 1992 Rockettes!? ... I think I may vomit from this... Okay, done! No one will say a word."<br />
<br />
"Three: I want to be President for life."<br />
<br />
"Oh, that one's a softball," Master," said the genie. "Done!"<br />
<br />
"That's it," bellowed Trump! I'm President of the United States for life!"<br />
<br />
"That you are," replied the genie. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to look for the nearest porta-potty. I haven't been to the bathroom since the Punic Wars!"<br />
<br />
"But wait, what's going on, Genie! I'm choking!" shouted Trump. "My tiny hands hurt. If I had a tiny penis it would hurt too! Why is this happening?" <br />
<br />
"Oh, yeah, that's right. Dude, today happens to the last day you are going to live."<br />
<br />
<i><b>"WHAT!"</b></i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i>
"72 1/2 years is as long as you're s'posed to be around. You eat like a pig, get winded climbing into and out of a golf cart, and use a doctor who looks like the drummer from a Sixties bar band who regularly throws up on stage at the end of each set."<br />
<br />
"I'm turning blue, Genie! I'm bluer than the new House of Representatives. And why are calling me "Dude?"<br />
<br />
"You're no long my master since we've discharged all the wishes, Dude. "<br />
<br />
"But ...but ... but ..."<br />
<br />
"I <i>did </i>make you President for life, as you asked. "<br />
<br />
"Yeah, but it turned out to be fake news."<br />
<br />
"Whaddya know, Dude? Finally something actually did."<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``<br />
<br />
<br />Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-91764029032454784352018-11-03T17:11:00.000-04:002018-11-28T22:03:36.107-05:00That Great Big Blue ....<br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm off social media for now, but I just wanted to remind everyone that here comes that great big ....</span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><b><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">BLUE WAVE!</span></i></b></i></b></div>
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Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-58523938107930703782018-09-26T23:30:00.000-04:002018-11-27T15:10:21.610-05:00Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank">Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</a></i></span></b><br />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank"><b style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></b><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">The Book</b></a></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<b style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">by <a href="http://www.perryblock.com/p/flash-fiction.html" target="_blank">Perry Block</a></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3BoGKO6Yxreqlc9PURVL8FIlFOU2RSDO81B_JcEoVCY1LFPzLP2nSj4cZ3oWrX2F1u9KUqXMvkZIojvAUgLJcVN3XWzMX9cXEYLYMC6BtGbDU2sNhyphenhypheniTNS9RlhI2qBt5NuH3VZpCBH8UA/s1600/Cover+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="338" data-original-width="225" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3BoGKO6Yxreqlc9PURVL8FIlFOU2RSDO81B_JcEoVCY1LFPzLP2nSj4cZ3oWrX2F1u9KUqXMvkZIojvAUgLJcVN3XWzMX9cXEYLYMC6BtGbDU2sNhyphenhypheniTNS9RlhI2qBt5NuH3VZpCBH8UA/s400/Cover+5.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9DlrlPCPKo&list=RDV9DlrlPCPKo&t=2" target="_blank">I may dig a pygmy</a>, but these folks dig</span></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u><i>Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute:</i></u></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #111111;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perry has the wit, wisdom, voice timbre and cadence of a young Dick Cavett. (To call Perry a "young" anything is my gift to Perry.) I knew this about Mr. Block 40 years ago when we first met. And his writing reconfirms it." - </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Cowan" target="_blank">Andy Cowan</a></b>, </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #111111;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #222222;">comedy writer for <i>Seinfeld </i>(including the iconic episode <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y_6fZGSOQI" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Opposite</a></i>)</span></span></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> <i>Cheers</i>, <i>3rd Rock from the Sun,</i> and more, and author of the comedy memoir </span><span class="m_-4440106606802662037m_-8099142315184663306gmail-a-size-large" id="m_-4440106606802662037m_-8099142315184663306gmail-productTitle" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; line-height: 1.3;"><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Banging-My-Head-Against-Wall/dp/1684330130/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525620946&sr=1-1&keywords=andy+cowan" style="color: #771000; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Banging My Head Against the Wall: A Comedy Writer's Guide to Seeing Stars</a>, </i>foreword by Jay Leno.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #111111;">"This book was totally relatable, funny,
and yes, really poignant ... I appreciate Perry's wit
and fight. He's not going gently into that good night. Neither am I. <i>Nouveau
Old, Formerly Cute</i> is a great read!" - </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.micheleyoung-stone.com/" target="_blank"><b>Michele Young-Stone</b></a></span><span style="background: white; color: #111111;">, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a1a;">Simon & Schuster</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a1a;"> published </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">author of </span><i style="color: #111111;">The
Ha</i></span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">ndbook of Lightning Strike Survivors, Above Us Only Sky, </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Lost
in the Beehive <a href="http://www.oprah.com/book/best-books-may-2018-lost-in-the-beehive?editors_pick_id=73102" target="_blank">(selected by Oprah's Book Club)</a> </i></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Perry Block offers up his ideas about advancing age in a funny and clever series of delightful musings … Perry brings his wit and wisdom to some everyday situations which will guarantee that you'll not only relate, but you'll be laughing out loud… By all means, buy it, read it, laugh out loud, and enjoy." - </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Ross-Davis/e/B00BNKKR90" style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank"><b>Joy Ross Davis</b></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, author of </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Emalyn's Treasure, The Devereaux Jewel, Mother, Can You Hear Me?, </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;">“Perry Block has gathered a collection of his hilarious articles and essays on the joys of being a Boomer in the 21st century. He takes his readers along a desperate path of trying to turn back the clock. Seriously, you will laugh until your sides ache.”- </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://kdmccrite.com/" target="_blank"><b>K.D. McCrite</b></a>, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">author of the </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span id="goog_1499582445"></span>Confessions of April Grace<span id="goog_1499582446"></span> </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Further Confessions of April Grace </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">series of books, and more.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“</span><span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A
funny (often laugh out loud funny) charmingly self-deprecating series of short
pieces about aging, modern culture, pop culture then and now, and an eclectic
variety of other topics … I felt like I got to know the author (who would
likely make a highly entertaining dinner companion) while I read. Really
enjoyable." - </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.debrasnider.com/" target="_blank"><b>Debra Snider</b></a>, author of </span><i style="color: #111111; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Lost Wyoming,</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> <i>A Merger of Equals</i>, and more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"Perry Block hates cheese. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If that’s not enough reason to read this
collection of humorous essays chronicling the inevitable life of an aging 67
year-old Baby Boomer then I don’t know what is. </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
is a laugh-out-</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">loud cautionary tale
about not taking creeping old age lying down (unless it’s nap time)."- </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0390998/" style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank"><b>Don Holley</b></a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, screenwriter of </span><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon </i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and author of </span><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Half-Loaded-humorous-Hollywood-misdemeanors-ebook/dp/B016YYJI26/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525621038&sr=1-1&keywords=don+holley" target="_blank">Half-Loaded: A Humorous Hollywood Memoir</a>. </i><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </i><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large; font-weight: 700;"><i>Perry Block </i></span><b style="color: #990000; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>- Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</i></span></b><br />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></b><b style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">The Book</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333;">Like you, Perry Block is a Baby Boomer who turned around one
day in 1978 and suddenly found himself 40 years later at an age he always
thought was exclusively reserved for people’s parents. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333;">Through a series of often hilarious essays, Perry tries to
make sense of it all, aided by his son Brandon and a host of other real and
fictitious characters, including Batman, Cupid, the Legendary Jewish Vampire
Vlad the Retailer, Richard Nixon, Moses, and more. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333;">Every Boomer concern is here - aging angst, fatherhood, the
singles life, friendships, fading looks and physicality, social trends,
the1960’s, drugs, religion, Judaism, the writing life, parody and satire,
self-deprecation, and the nagging worry that not only has he measured his life
in coffee spoons, frequently the coffee hasn’t even been hot.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b>Available at <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank">Amazon </a>& <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/nouveau-old-formerly-cute-perry-block/1127818444" target="_blank">Barnes & Noble</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000;"><b>Now also Available at two great Philly area book stores</b></span></span></span><br />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.narberthbookshop.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Narberth Bookshop</span></a></b><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>&</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b><a href="https://www.bigbluemarblebooks.com/" target="_blank">Big Blue Marble Bookstore</a> </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I'm Ready for My Close-up, Mr. DeMillions of Readers</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.perryblock.com/p/flash-fiction.html" target="_blank">Perry's Interview is clickable here.</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>You Can Also Follow Perry On</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;"><a href="https://twitter.com/PerryBlock" target="_blank">Twitter</a> </span>and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/perry.block" target="_blank">Facebook</a></b></span></span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b><br />
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Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-38328413818107328192018-09-25T21:29:00.000-04:002018-10-31T12:26:59.312-04:00Ghosts, Contractors, and the Invisible Man<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHOiDR3Y0LfnpnLhfkovLc0F_m1OQdZPHPmu0K9Rol39J2MS_wr-8g7xyQpd73bBNeIdFY0oOurn00opdSx4IDdSVFbjTIOxheNCYhzNfBOWzD6yrjvXvu2TjBe5ZqThvFwQW3tZJD2FAR/s1600/invisible+man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="224" data-original-width="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHOiDR3Y0LfnpnLhfkovLc0F_m1OQdZPHPmu0K9Rol39J2MS_wr-8g7xyQpd73bBNeIdFY0oOurn00opdSx4IDdSVFbjTIOxheNCYhzNfBOWzD6yrjvXvu2TjBe5ZqThvFwQW3tZJD2FAR/s1600/invisible+man.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Ghosts are invisible.</span></i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So is the Invisible Man.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Then there is that unique species of human being known
as the home contractor.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I’ve have contractors suddenly become invisible when
they were due to <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>show up at my house for
all kinds of jobs from simple home repair to painting the house to putting a
deck on the back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure there’s someone
somewhere who’s been left waiting at the contractor altar after signing the
papers for the guy to put a heliport on the house, build a bowling alley in the
basement, or install an ocean in the back yard.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Typically I will have met with the contractor about
the proposed job for a few hours or more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The contractor explains what’s involved in the job as well as his unique
talents for accomplishing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Don’t worry, Mr. Block.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve been in business for 25 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a certificate of compliance by the
Better Business Bureau <i>and </i>the Even Better Business Bureau, and references from
neighbors and friends of yours as well as from world leaders like the late
Winston Churchill and Mahatma Gandhi. We’re giving out a lifetime warranty
too.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Whose lifetime, Mr. Logan?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Yours, of course."</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"What are you, crazy?! Look at me!"</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">"Okay, then, the kid</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> who plays Young Sheldon on TV.”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">"Much better! Unless he later dies of a drug overdose."</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Mr. Logan certainly seems substantial and creditable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We arrange for him to start work next Monday
at 7:00 sharp.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Comes Monday morning and I am up and ready to greet
him, cup of coffee in hand at 7:00 A.M sharp<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But the only people who arrive at my home at 7:00 A.M
sharp are the hosts of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The CBS Morning
Show.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Oh, well, he’ll be here, I
comfortably think. He’s probably stuck in traffic or having a quick early
morning amorous interlude with his wife, or combining the two while driving with his wife to work if he’s so adept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whatever. None of my business.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">He’ll be here.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">11:00 A.M.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">He
ain’t here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Aly Velshi and Stefanie Rule of MSNC are here, but he's not.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Mr. Logan is either the last of the Red Hot Lovers or he’s
stuck behind a pile up the size of Mt. McKinley.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I call his office and get his voicemail. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"Hello, this is Logan Painters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can’t take your call right now as we are
out in the field on a job. Please leave a message at the beep."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Good to know he’s out in the field. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately it’s not my field. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It's 2 o’clock, 3 o’clock, 4 o’clock - Rock - 5 o’clock,
6 o’clock, 7 o’clock – Rock! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We’re still rocking around the clock the next morning
at 7:00 o’clock, waiting for the Invisible Mr. Logan.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Monday melds into Tues, Tuesday becomes Wednesday and Thursday, and
weeks pass, and you realize you have not hired a home contractor at all. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You have hired the anti-Michael Avennati. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Why does this happen?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Some say it's because at the last minute the
contractor has gotten a better and more lucrative job than yours. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that’s true, do contractors also fail to
show up when they have a job rebuilding the Pentagon because at the last minute
they get hired to build a new and improved Taj Mahal?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">No one knows. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ghosts are invisible. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So is the Invisible Man<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Also known as the Home Contractor.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And don’t forget, my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank">Perry Block- Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</a> is never invisible. (Its sales, though, are something else).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you’ll check it out.</span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<br />Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-26945247202905053412018-09-20T20:28:00.000-04:002018-09-20T21:37:25.662-04:00Meet the Good Strong YOUNG Company, Mr. Block<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl-c7-JaHM5InR0k8o0jhmmHX-JK3duTVqbNsmY853cS1aoCKuzyIaP1GXIlGMDmuvap-6sNBogxg4cOQ2LBD01BlGwbNaOf00UzfyJbpjFHorUqHJX219AHxLTSgvZvQLEf3Z23FCUH-N/s1600/job-interview-practice-practicable-with-1030x686.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="686" data-original-width="1030" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl-c7-JaHM5InR0k8o0jhmmHX-JK3duTVqbNsmY853cS1aoCKuzyIaP1GXIlGMDmuvap-6sNBogxg4cOQ2LBD01BlGwbNaOf00UzfyJbpjFHorUqHJX219AHxLTSgvZvQLEf3Z23FCUH-N/s400/job-interview-practice-practicable-with-1030x686.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Note: That's not me. I look much <i><b>YOUNGER!</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>When did I first come to realize that the moon was
over the mountain at least as far as my working career?</i></span></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was being interviewed for a job at the tender age of
57 or 58 because the Company I had worked for over a number of years had moved
out of the area.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“I’m Bob French,” said the interviewer. “Nice to meet
you, Perry.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Friendly enough dude and the interview seemed to be
going well. Then I asked a question to
display my interest in the company.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Tell me about your management team, Bob," I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Oh, yes, good question, Perry!” said Bob.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It’s always nice when someone says you’ve asked a good
question. Much better than being told “the answer to that question is
self-evident and you’re an idiot.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Not that that’s ever happened to me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Well, Perry,” said
Bob, “We have a good strong <b><i>YOUNG </i></b>management team.”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Excuse me?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Did he actually say that they have a good strong <i><b>YOUNG
</b></i>management team?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Most executives doing interviews these days are
trained to avoid mentioning age, and most likely Mr. Johnson was so trained as
well. But apparently he just hadn’t made the leap from not asking about age to
expressing a preference for youthful over alta cocker vintage, not that Bob
would know what an alta cocker is.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“We have a good strong <b><i>YOUNG </i></b>CFO named George
Strapling,” Bob went on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">He’s two for two, I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“And our new sales VP, Ralph Barkley is a good strong <b><i>YOUNG
</i></b>marketing guy from Kropotkin and company.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Three <b><i>YOUNGs </i></b>in a row!
I wonder if they have milk and
cookies and naptime here too.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"And we’re just bringing in a new good strong president,
George Marchese,” Bob continued.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At last, I thought! </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bob has either caught on to today’s prevailing
business wisdom or George Marchese’s age is lofty enough that he can join AARP
without having to show ID.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“It’s hard to
believe how much George has achieved at his prior jobs as <b><i>YOUNG</i></b> as he is,” raved Bob.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I should never have doubted Bob’s proclivity for blithely
making wrongheaded and illegal statements.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">From there on in, the interview progressed OK, although
I made sure to refrain from making references to the Truman Administration.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"Would you like something to drink, Perry?” asked Bob.
“We have a good strong <b><i>YOUNG </i></b>vending machine in the lobby with good strong
<i><b>YOUNG</b></i> snacks and of course, good strong <i><b>YOUNG </b></i>Coca-Cola.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I made up that part.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I asked one more question before leaving, bracing
myself for the answer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Can you tell me how old the company is, Bob?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Sure, Perry.
It’s two year old.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Of course. The answer to that question was self-evident and you’re an idiot, Perry.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At least Bob didn’t say “two years <b><i>YOUNG</i></b>.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I didn’t get the job, of course, but Mr. French’s transgressions
were safe with me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I’m not the suing type.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After all I’m not a good strong <b><i>YOUNG </i></b>applicant and frankly,
I just don’t have the strength for it.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you liked this post, you'll like my book <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank">Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute. </a></i></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you hated this post, you'll LOVE my book </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank">Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute. </a></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why? That's just the way it works.</span><br />
<br />Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-73890450425572117912018-09-07T22:52:00.001-04:002018-09-11T18:39:04.133-04:00Marketing 101(or Less) for Nouveau Old, FormerlyCute<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmZc5yMYYD9OxHo7hwCyi8R5KQakGONdeH26rpT47G_P9d249SAZ8-zpLUeoGjtE3V0dGPk3xgO_Lt8wwSN_439iUOczdtm_qqlpjbjoFxsh8fPTXcAUrPBu_gkvytCOJl7v07774w2_Hy/s1600/Marketing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="159" data-original-width="318" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmZc5yMYYD9OxHo7hwCyi8R5KQakGONdeH26rpT47G_P9d249SAZ8-zpLUeoGjtE3V0dGPk3xgO_Lt8wwSN_439iUOczdtm_qqlpjbjoFxsh8fPTXcAUrPBu_gkvytCOJl7v07774w2_Hy/s320/Marketing.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqX759B0ijlqNBRTixEdYwe1-BI_kuVeCEhe4rh_19M_2EqP5ReY5ogD8hSNm9YT8czx_vjPYOvw8bJiMepabUFt6X9h9mb4nE23i_wgHMbYctS5MFo80VB-t0hHnyUTJtfmgmQP9bfee8/s1600/Cover+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="560" data-original-width="446" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqX759B0ijlqNBRTixEdYwe1-BI_kuVeCEhe4rh_19M_2EqP5ReY5ogD8hSNm9YT8czx_vjPYOvw8bJiMepabUFt6X9h9mb4nE23i_wgHMbYctS5MFo80VB-t0hHnyUTJtfmgmQP9bfee8/s320/Cover+cropped.jpg" width="252" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></b></span>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">When you've written a book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nouveau-Formerly-Cute-Perry-Block/dp/0999412728/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1516035621&sr=8-3&keywords=Perry+block" target="_blank">(Perry Block-Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute)</a> and your marketing budget is limited</span></i></b> (Marketing Budget = $0), you have to go to the basics to market your book, the basics being Twitter and Facebook.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'd also be on Instagram as well but until somebody writes <i>A Really Stupid Idiot's Guide to Instagram,</i> I'm afraid Instagram will have to wait.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've written many posts and tweets over the last several months to promote my book, and I'd thought I'd share some of the better ones with you. Hopefully you will enjoy them and <i><b>buy the book!</b></i></span><br />
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<b><i><span style="color: #14171a; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute is the book for you! </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here's why:</span></i></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">1) Has All the Best Words.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">2) Fully Pasteurized.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">3) Great For Snackin'!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">4) From a Certain Angle, the Little Guy on the Cover Looks Like He's Winking at You!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>On my Amazon page it says </b><i>Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute </i>and millions of other books are available for Amazon Kindle. I kinda wish it hadn't also said "If I were you I'd check out the millions of other books first."</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you've read my book "Perry Block- Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute" and liked it,</span></b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">please consider writing an Amazon review. On the other hand, if you read my book and hated it, you're MUCH too busy to write a review. Please don't waste your precious time!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>My Book <i>Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute </i></b>will NOT be sold to any member of the Trump Administration. That's right, you're not just buying a humor book; you're supporting democracy!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>I'm Tom Selleck.</b>
You know, many people today aren't getting enough schlock humor in their lives. It's their greatest concern. Now there's an answer. Why not unlock the humor in <i>Perry Block-Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute?</i> I've done my homework. I trust Perry Block. I think you can too. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>You probably think my book "Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute" is only for Boomers</b>, but that's wrong. There's parody, satire, and anything else you want.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There is "The Metamorphosis - The Musical," "If Batman Had a Jewish Mother," "Fahrenheit 151 + Ten Years," and much more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I promise you'll love it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>National Non Profit Day</b> - How wonderful that there is a day dedicated to the sales of my book "Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute!" I am truly touched!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Why should you read my humor book "Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute" </b>when Tina Fey's <i>Bossypants</i> has 4,728 Amazon reviews and my book has 23.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Let's compare them head to head:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">1) Both Tina Fey and I are from Philadelphia. Draw.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />2 )Tina Fey's book is 272 pages long; mine is 274 pages long. Advantage: me!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />3) Tina Fey was a star of SNL; I have watched SNL. Draw.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />4) My book helps you regain your normal regularity. Tina Fey's book - no claim.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">It's resolved! Sorry, Tina. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Discover the <i>Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</i> Difference!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">1) Fun For All Ages - Greatest, Boomer, Gen X, & Millennial</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">2) No Salesperson will Call.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">3) Melts in Your Mouth, Not in Your</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Hand.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">4) Hilarious & Without Me Tickling You.
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>My book <i>Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</i> is perfect for all occasions.</b> You can enjoy it with any meal, it goes great with red and white wine, and it makes virtually any occasion special! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And it's great for re-gifting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Remember the <i>Seinfeld </i>episode <i>The Opposite</i></b> in which George becomes a winner by doing everything the Opposite way he's always done it before? <a href="http://www.perryblock.com/2018/04/perry-block-nouveau-old-formerly-cute.html" target="_blank">Here's what Andy Cowan, the author of <i>The Opposite</i>, has to say about my book ....</a></span></div>
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<span class="fwn fcg" style="color: #616770; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Did you know that my book</b> <i>Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute</i> is now #4379 in Humor Books on Amazon? Eat your heart out, Tina Fey!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>S</b></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>o you're up late at night on a Saturday?</b> You're tired of television and social media? You need a good book to read. I wish I knew one, but I can offer you my book "Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute." Hey, you could do worse!</span><br />
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<span class="fwn fcg" style="color: #616770; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Why should </b></span><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you </b><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">buy my book?</b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">1) Not a speck of Omarosa</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">2) Where else can you hang with Cupid, Batman, & the Legendary LOJM all in one book?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">3) It's good for the Jews</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">4) Never a charge for the Oxford Comma!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"I've just read Perry Block's book <i>Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute. </i>How is it?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span><b style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;"><i>It's Pret-ay Pret-tay Good!" </i></b></div>
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Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4892510436199255267.post-24449299075232485862018-09-04T22:51:00.002-04:002018-09-20T20:37:37.307-04:00"Watch Out, Piggy!"<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="Image result for COPD Commercial Grandfather" height="240" src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/kNxH_NdVHEo/hqdefault.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNxH_NdVHEo" target="_blank">Symbachunk is <b><i>not </i></b>for everyone.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">These days commercials for prescription drugs are on the
air more than ever.</span></b></i> Here’s a familiar commercial virtually everyone has seen.</span><br />
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<i><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A
grandfather is playing with his young granddaughter.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“And the wolf huffed and puffed ….”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Like you do sometimes, Grandpa?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Well, when you have COPD it can be hard to breath.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Grandpa?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Yes?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“I’m four years old. Like I’d understand what’s wrong with you by some lame abbreviation!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“I’m sorry, honey.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Well, what does </span></span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">COPD</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> mean, Grandpa?”</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">“Oh, yes. COPD is</span><em><span style="background: white; color: #6a6a6a; font-style: normal; line-height: 107%;"> chronic obstructive
pulmonary disease.”</span></em><span style="background: white; color: #545454; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #545454; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Much better, Grandpa.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“So I talked to my doctor. She said …”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Your doctor is a woman, Grandpa!?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Sure.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“So I can be a doctor someday, Grandpa?”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Well, if you don’t know what COPD is at your age, probably
not.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“So, anyway, I talked to my doctor. She said …”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<i><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Symbachunk
works 15 different ways, Mr. Farnum.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></i><br />
<i><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Is that so, Doctor?”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Yes, as opposed to the next leading drug which only works
13 different ways, and 11 and 4 are pretty much just a rehash of each other.”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“So you’re recommending new Symbachunk for my COPD?”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“For your what?” <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Don’t tell me you don’t know what it is either!”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“That’s why there’s such a thing as the Internet, Mr.
Farnum. Now </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">stop staring at my tits and </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">get out of my office!"</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> “<i>Symbachunk is not for everyone</i>. Tell your doctor about all your medical
conditions, including the ones that cause others to giggle and point. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Major side effects are nausea, headaches, liver damage, growth
of a Jewish nose, the sudden change of your name to Fred, marriage between your large and small intestines, and itching. Seek medical help if you have an erection lasting more than four hours since all of us want to know how we can do that too, and although it’s rare…<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The risk of painful and bloody death.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now, Mr. Farnum, you can go back and play with…<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Go back and play with your …<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<b><i><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Oh
no!<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is terrible! <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Somebody get a real doctor in here fast to revive him!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">He’s what?<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It’s too late?”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“But I thought this was an actor portrayal, not a real patient.”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Su</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">mbachunk is so lethal it can even kill the actor in an
actor portrayal, let alone the patient.”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“I never knew that.”</span></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #545454; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>“So you’re
my new grandpa.</i> I think I’m going to like you a lot better than my other grandpa
who only talked in stupid acronyms.”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #545454; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #545454; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“Watch out, Piggy!”<i> <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #545454; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">“Then again, maybe not.”</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #545454; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #545454; line-height: 107%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`</span></span></div>
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Perry Blockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439590071776264237noreply@blogger.com0