Trump Jam!

Note:  This is a very silly post.
  Not recommended for those who are not Bugs Bunny fans.
 Or for the most part, anyone else.)
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The long awaited pairing of two great American icons!
Donald Trump        Bugs Bunny
   in

TRUMP JAM!

The fun-filled story of a Presidential campaign pitting a free-spirited bunny against a mean-spirited bully!

Debate One:  You're the Puppet 
(Based on this classic Bugs/Daffy bit) 

Trump: You're the puppet!

Bugs: No, you're the puppet!

Trump: No, you're the puppet!

Bugs: No, you're the puppet!

Trump: No, you're the puppet!

Bugs:  No, I'm the puppet!

Trump: No, I'm the puppet!

  

Bugs:  No, I'm the puppet!

Trump:  No, I'm the puppet!

Bugs: No, I'm the puppet!

Trump:  No, I'm the puppet!  I'm absolutely positively the puppet! 

Bugs: Okay, Doc, have it your way.  You're the puppet.

Trump:  Well, thank you, Bugs.  I am the puppet for sure, because I don't know shit and  ..... wait a minute OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!

SMOOOOOOOOCH!!!!

Bugs: Of course you know this means war! 

Debate Two: His Darling Daughter

Trump: I'm building a wall and the Mexicans are going to pay for it.

Bugs: You won't even get Salma Hayek to chip in for it.

Trump:  I'm bringing back jobs to America!  

Bugs: The only jobs you're bringing back to America are the kind that leave tooth marks on  your pecker.  I wonder, Doc, do you at all know the difference between truth and lies? 

Trump:  All truth is relative. And while we're talking about relatives, have you seen my daughter?  She's really hot!

Bugs:  I know, Doc. Your daughter's pussy's been grabbed more times than a shortstop's crotch!

Trump: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH, YOU WASCALLY WABBIT!!! 

Bugs:  What a maroon! 

Debate Three: Keep America Safe

Trump: I know more about ISIS than the Generals!  

Bugs: Yeah, that's a set of General Tires.

Trump: Did you know I have all the best words because I went to Wharton?

Bugs: What does "cat" mean?

Trump:  I'll Google it later. I'm busy keeping America safe.

Bugs: What was that, Doc?

Trump: Keeping America safe! 

Bugs:  I didn't hear that. What are you gonna keep America?

Trump: Safe! Safe! I said Safe!!! 

Bugs: That's what I thought you said!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Acme Safe Company

!!!!SMASH!!!!!  

**cuckoo**   **cuckoo**

**cuckoo****cuckoo**

Bugs:  Ain't I a stinker?

Election Night

Wolf Blitzer: That's it, folks, Bugs Bunny has swept the electoral vote, the popular vote, and the Chachi/Duck Dynasty vote.  The next President of the United States is Bugs Bunny!

Bugs: Gosh, thanks, Doc.  Any carrots come with that?

Trump:  So unfair!  The whole thing is rigged. The election's been fixed!

Bugs: Did you say fixed, Doc?

Trump:  Right!  I said FIXED!

Bugs:  Fixed I can take care of right now.  Too bad they didn't do it to your father 71 years ago.

SNIP!!!

Trump: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! 

Bugs:  What an ignor-a-mus!


Well, that's our picture, folks.  Make sure and come visit me at the White House if ever you're in town. We can discuss infrastructure development and border security and I'll have my man Trump whip you up a nice souffle. 

Hey, Trump, where are you?  Do I have to lock you up? Where is that Loony Tune anyway?   

That's all Folks!

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If you liked this post you might also like like  Scientists Hail Discovery of "Trump is an Asshole" Gene, Donald J. Trump's Guide to Sexual Harassment, and The Most Disliked Nominees in History. If you hated this post, I hope your daughter marries Rudy Giuliani and they have a daughter who looks just like him who lives in your basement until she's 40! 

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(Sorry for the lame special effects, especially the dropping of the safe, but that's the best I can do. And once again, that's all, folks!)

Trak All The Way (FF)

© Kent Bonham

Trak leaned back in the limo and savored the sweet satisfaction of the moment. He was on his way to the world premiere of his new motion picture, Trak All The Way, his first ever starring effort.  He wondered what that bastard Shrek must be thinking.

Trak and Shrek had gone to drama school together, but while Shrek found fame in a series of Disney pictures, Trak had struggled. Years of undistinguished bit parts had finally led to the second banana role in a series of Mel Gibson movies, but all of them had been stinkeroos, especially Lethal Ogre 3. 

Unfortunately the critics were not kind to Trak All The Way. "Trak carries a movie like other actors would carry a ten ton weight,” mocked Variety.  Next day the phone rang. "It's Shrek,” said Trak's mom. “Says he can’t wait for Lethal Ogre 4."

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I don't know about you, but I've never seen any of the Lethal Ogre movies.  I hear the fading Gibson pretty much sleepwalks through each one of them and Trak delivers lines like Comcast delivers services.  Anyway, this tale of Trak represents my take on the picture prompt above for this week's Friday Fictioneers.

The other Friday Fictioneers will give you no Shrek (in Yiddish, it means "fright") and keep you on Trak with their takes on the picture prompt if you grab a big club (optional) and click right here.

Shrek may gloat, but Trak All The Way actually wasn't that bad a movie. I just didn't find the love scenes between Trak and Scarlett Johansson all that convincing.

Popeye, the Sailor Man BOOP! BOOP! (FF)

"Popeye, look! That ship capsized in the harbor with everyone aboard!"

"Well, blow me down, Olive!"

"Popeye, can you yank the anchor chain and pull the ship to shore?"

"Of course I can, Olive.  Because ...

 I'm Popeye, the Sailor Man BOOP! BOOP!

 I'm Popeye, the Sailor Man BOOP! BOOP!

"But, Popeye, you didn't eat your spinach!"

"Oh, that was just product placement, Olive. I gots paid plenty by the Spinach Growers of America for that."

"Then, Popeye, where does the strength come from?"

"I thought you wouldda guessed by now, Olive."

"Popeye! You're a stoner?"

"I Yam What I Yam and That's All What I Yam!  And don't Bogart that pipe, Olive."

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With this annoying little entry in the weekly Friday Fictioneers' Sweepstakes based on the picture prompt above, I'm counting on most people remembering Popeye the Sailor Man (BOOP! BOOP!). He hasn't been on TV in any of his three incarnations (One black & white, two in color, & one in which the character of "Bluto" is oddly named "Brutus") in many a year.

If you don't remember Popeye, Olive, and the rest, never fear. The other Friday Fictioneers are ready to blow you down with their takes on the picture prompt, most of which in no way include product placement by the Spinach Growers of America. 

But I hope you like the Popeye piece. And I will gladly pay you Friday for a nice comment today.  

That's All, Folks!

Show business has recently  been rocked by revelations that both the puppeteer/voice actor behind Elmo from Sesame Street and the voice actor who's frequently played Charlie Brown have been accused of serious sexual/behavioral crimes and offenses. Now comes news of yet another such shocking situation!

Reliable sources have confirmed that  Mr. Elmer Fudd of Hollywood CA has filed sweeping criminal and civil charges in the Federal Court of the Southern District of California against Mr. Bugs Bunny, also from Hollywood CA, for stalking, harassment, assault with a lit firecracker, battery by gonging over the head,  attempted murder by painting a phony entrance to a building on the side of a wall, and unwelcome and overly wet and slobbery kissing on the lips!

In a prepared statement, Mr. Fudd said: 

"I am sick of contiwually being hit by mallets and anvils, fwattened like a pancake, having expwosives go off in my undershorts, and wepeatedly being sowicited in the most offensive manner imaginable by the words:

What's Up, Doc?

'What's Up, Doc?,' Mr. Bunny? You're NEVER gonna find out 'What's Up, Doc?, Mr. Bunny!!'  
 I'm not gay but even if I were I'm not interested in wabbits!!!"

Attorneys for Bugs Bunny have denied all of Mr. Fudd's claims, stating that it has in fact been Mr. Fudd stalking and harassing Mr. Bunny all along, usually with a double-barreled shotgun!  

Said Mr. Bunny:

"I'm not gay either, Doc, but even if I were I wouldn't be interested in Mr. Fudd.  I have it on very good authority that when you're talking about What's Up,  Doc!,  the best you can say about Mr. Fudd is...

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And that really is all, Folks!