Trump Jam!

Note:  This is a very silly post.
  Not recommended for those who are not Bugs Bunny fans.
 Or for the most part, anyone else.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The long awaited pairing of two great American icons!
Donald Trump        Bugs Bunny
   in

TRUMP JAM!

The fun-filled story of a Presidential campaign pitting a free-spirited bunny against a mean-spirited bully!

Debate One:  You're the Puppet 
(Based on this classic Bugs/Daffy bit) 

Trump: You're the puppet!

Bugs: No, you're the puppet!

Trump: No, you're the puppet!

Bugs: No, you're the puppet!

Trump: No, you're the puppet!

Bugs:  No, I'm the puppet!

Trump: No, I'm the puppet!

  

Bugs:  No, I'm the puppet!

Trump:  No, I'm the puppet!

Bugs: No, I'm the puppet!

Trump:  No, I'm the puppet!  I'm absolutely positively the puppet! 

Bugs: Okay, Doc, have it your way.  You're the puppet.

Trump:  Well, thank you, Bugs.  I am the puppet for sure, because I don't know shit and  ..... wait a minute OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!

SMOOOOOOOOCH!!!!

Bugs: Of course you know this means war! 

Debate Two: His Darling Daughter

Trump: I'm building a wall and the Mexicans are going to pay for it.

Bugs: You won't even get Salma Hayek to chip in for it.

Trump:  I'm bringing back jobs to America!  

Bugs: The only jobs you're bringing back to America are the kind that leave tooth marks on  your pecker.  I wonder, Doc, do you at all know the difference between truth and lies? 

Trump:  All truth is relative. And while we're talking about relatives, have you seen my daughter?  She's really hot!

Bugs:  I know, Doc. Your daughter's pussy's been grabbed more times than a shortstop's crotch!

Trump: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH, YOU WASCALLY WABBIT!!! 

Bugs:  What a maroon! 

Debate Three: Keep America Safe

Trump: I know more about ISIS than the Generals!  

Bugs: Yeah, that's a set of General Tires.

Trump: Did you know I have all the best words because I went to Wharton?

Bugs: What does "cat" mean?

Trump:  I'll Google it later. I'm busy keeping America safe.

Bugs: What was that, Doc?

Trump: Keeping America safe! 

Bugs:  I didn't hear that. What are you gonna keep America?

Trump: Safe! Safe! I said Safe!!! 

Bugs: That's what I thought you said!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Acme Safe Company

!!!!SMASH!!!!!  

**cuckoo**   **cuckoo**

**cuckoo****cuckoo**

Bugs:  Ain't I a stinker?

Election Night

Wolf Blitzer: That's it, folks, Bugs Bunny has swept the electoral vote, the popular vote, and the Chachi/Duck Dynasty vote.  The next President of the United States is Bugs Bunny!

Bugs: Gosh, thanks, Doc.  Any carrots come with that?

Trump:  So unfair!  The whole thing is rigged. The election's been fixed!

Bugs: Did you say fixed, Doc?

Trump:  Right!  I said FIXED!

Bugs:  Fixed I can take care of right now.  Too bad they didn't do it to your father 71 years ago.

SNIP!!!

Trump: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! 

Bugs:  What an ignor-a-mus!


Well, that's our picture, folks.  Make sure and come visit me at the White House if ever you're in town. We can discuss infrastructure development and border security and I'll have my man Trump whip you up a nice souffle. 

Hey, Trump, where are you?  Do I have to lock you up? Where is that Loony Tune anyway?   

That's all Folks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

If you liked this post you might also like like  Scientists Hail Discovery of "Trump is an Asshole" Gene, Donald J. Trump's Guide to Sexual Harassment, and The Most Disliked Nominees in History. If you hated this post, I hope your daughter marries Rudy Giuliani and they have a daughter who looks just like him who lives in your basement until she's 40! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Sorry for the lame special effects, especially the dropping of the safe, but that's the best I can do. And once again, that's all, folks!)

That's All, Folks!

Show business has recently  been rocked by revelations that both the puppeteer/voice actor behind Elmo from Sesame Street and the voice actor who's frequently played Charlie Brown have been accused of serious sexual/behavioral crimes and offenses. Now comes news of yet another such shocking situation!

Reliable sources have confirmed that  Mr. Elmer Fudd of Hollywood CA has filed sweeping criminal and civil charges in the Federal Court of the Southern District of California against Mr. Bugs Bunny, also from Hollywood CA, for stalking, harassment, assault with a lit firecracker, battery by gonging over the head,  attempted murder by painting a phony entrance to a building on the side of a wall, and unwelcome and overly wet and slobbery kissing on the lips!

In a prepared statement, Mr. Fudd said: 

"I am sick of contiwually being hit by mallets and anvils, fwattened like a pancake, having expwosives go off in my undershorts, and wepeatedly being sowicited in the most offensive manner imaginable by the words:

What's Up, Doc?

'What's Up, Doc?,' Mr. Bunny? You're NEVER gonna find out 'What's Up, Doc?, Mr. Bunny!!'  
 I'm not gay but even if I were I'm not interested in wabbits!!!"

Attorneys for Bugs Bunny have denied all of Mr. Fudd's claims, stating that it has in fact been Mr. Fudd stalking and harassing Mr. Bunny all along, usually with a double-barreled shotgun!  

Said Mr. Bunny:

"I'm not gay either, Doc, but even if I were I wouldn't be interested in Mr. Fudd.  I have it on very good authority that when you're talking about What's Up,  Doc!,  the best you can say about Mr. Fudd is...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that really is all, Folks!

Two Semi-Seasonal Songs

Originally I wasn’t going to put these two slightly out-of-date songs on the Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute blog site, but it’s cold, I’m lazy, and frankly, I’ve got nothing else.

Just think of it this way. I’m going to do a couple of covers for you.
 

The Hanukkah Song
No. 4

Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah;

It’s so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah.

Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights;

Instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights!

When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree,
Here’s a FOURTH LIST of people who are Jewish,
Just like you and me:

Shia LaBeouf eats his Hanukkah gelt;
So do Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal,
Though they’re both perpetually svelte.

We’ve got Judd Apatow,
Who directs Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd;
Sasha Baron Cohen’s Borat was funny,
But Bruno a drek-filled dud.

Scarlett Johansson’s half,
I wish she were a full blood;
But Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman are 100 per cent,
As is the voice of Elmer Fudd (and Bugs Bunny too!)

You don’t need to Deck the Halls
When you got eight nights of bliss;
Cause you can spin the dreidel with Gene Simmons
And the members of Kiss (most Jewish!)

Put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Hanukkah;
Even after all these long years,
Howard Stern can still be too moronicah!

O.J. Simpson --- Still not a Jew!
But Jews do most of the voice-overs
On The Simpsons and Family Guy too!

The Good Wife's Julianna Margulies is now a big TV star.
But Noah Wylie --- another Jew ---
also got his start with her on ER.

Some people think that Jews are somewhat driven
(but they’re not); Guess it comes from watching
Entourage with Jeremy Piven!

So many Jews are in show biz;
Steven Colbert isn’t a Jew,
But every other damn comedian is!

Tell your friend Veronica,
It's time you celebrate Hanukkah!
I hope I get a harmonica (though most Jews can’t play it)
On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah,
And smoke your marajuanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah,

Have a Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Hanukkah!

Sleigh Ride  

Just hear those sleigh bells sounding

And shofers resounding, it’s true.

Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride

Together with a Jew!

Outside the snow is falling,

And friends are calling "Well, nu?"

Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride

Together with a Jew!

Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, let's go!

Let's choose a movie show.

We're riding to a wonderland of General Tzo!

Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, it's grand!

A Miami Beach tan!

We're gliding along with a song from a simply great Klezmer band!

Our cheeks are nice and rosy,

Picked a movie we’ll mosey to see.

We're snuggled up like big machers*,

Gonna see Little Fochers at half past 3:00.

Let's take that road before us

With Uncle Morris or Cousin Lou.

Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride

Together with a Jew!

Thank you very much, and have a Very Belated Hanukkah!

~~~~~~~~~

 Not a Member of the Tribe?

    macher - a big shot

    nu -  So?  Whassup? Fill me in.  Ya score last night?  (that kind of thing)   

    drek - pure garbage; something that really sucks