Sunday, August 14, 2016

Scientists Hail Discovery of "Trump is an Asshole" Gene


A dramatic announcement was issued this morning by a team of researchers at the University of Pennsylvania Applied Science Department that they have isolated the human gene known familiarly as the "Donald Trump is an Asshole Gene." The discovery is being hailed as the greatest advancement in science since the discovery of virtually everything else.

The gene creates the normal despising of Donald Trump that is innate in all rational human beings. Researchers believe it developed in early man over 600,000 years ago in response to the existence of a creature known as the orange-crested douchebagius, which humankind came to learn was combative, stupid, and known to cover its mostly hairless head with profusions of orange leaves. 

It is believed further that  in some unfortunate modern humans the gene malfunctions causing the afflicted individual to - while realizing that Donald Trump is indeed an asshole -  believe he is a charming asshole. This aberration occurs in a small but vociferous percentage of the population today, estimated to be roughly in the range of "too many."

The race is now on to develop a method to reverse the impact of the mutant gene and restore those suffering from its malicious impact to normalcy. It is important that great care be taken that any treatment developed not impact the functioning of a nearby chromosome which houses the "Hillary Does Lie, But Let's Face It She is Running Against an Asshole Gene."

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12 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. I'm sure your comment was brilliant anyway, Tracey!

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    2. I'll second that. Everything she says is brilliant.

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    3. I don't know about everything, but this is brilliant!

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  2. Hopefully, scientists will develop some potent between now and November for those with the gene malfunction.

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    1. That's it. Smokin' crack caused the gene to malfunction.

      I'm sure they'll find someway to blame Hillary. Her and her Crooked Crack Pipe.

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    2. But it's really Obama's fault for his secret Muslim plan to mess up the Trump hating gene so that Trump will be elected and destroy the United States! Trump was right all along.

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