It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Annual Macy's Labor Day Parade

with Snoopy the Roofer Float

It's started again! 

Just after Flag Day and well before July 4th, commercials and decorations have once again exploded everywhere and anywhere you go.  

Let's all sing:

It's beginning to look a lot like Labor Day!

A Fair Deal for every Jane and Joe,

Take a look at that closing mill, jobs to China fly they will,

But we'll honor every worker as they go!

Yes, Labor Day Season!  

The most wonderful time of the year!

What can match the grand buildup to Labor Day with its lights, tinsel, and "Unfair to Local 457" picketing signs?  Everywhere you look you see Labor Day Villages springing up - many made of candy, chocolate, and other treats - all with the Triangle Shirtwast Factory right at their heart and center. 

And 'tis the season when he comes to your local mall or department store, boys and girls, none other than 

Old  Grandfather Gompers!   

Children love to sit in the lap of Old Grandfather Gompers as he regales then with tales of 19th Century Labor Disputes, including the Chicago Haymarket Riot of 1886.

Then arrives Labor Day itself with its barbecues, pool parties,  and deep reflection on the contributions of the American working man and woman.  Many enjoy this day by playing golf or tennis at posh country clubs, driving down to their condos at the shore, or eating out at fine restaurants which working class Americans could never afford where they stiff the waiter because the bread basket was late.

As Clement C. Moore penned in the classic The Night Before Labor Day: 

'Twas the night before Labor Day when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a private equity louse; 

The organizing kits were hung by the chimney with care, 

In hopes that Grandfather Gompers soon would be there; 

The children were nestled all snug in their beds 

While visions of higher wages and shorter hours danced in their heads.

What a shame that Labor Day comes but once a year. It's the true Season of Peace ... and piece work.

As Clement Moore wrote: 

And I heard him exclaim as he strode out of  sight, 

Happy Labor Day  to All and to All, a Collective Bargaining Right!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Old Grandfather Gompers attempts to talk a Snowman into joining the AFS, the American Federation of Snowmen

So Much the Same

Obama returned for a four year term, Christmas commercials return to television, and I for another week return to the Friday Fictioneers for yet another go at a well prompted histoire.

How's that for a non sequitur?

I'm still a bit off the 100 word guideline this week, filing my little tale at about 153.  I promise if re-elected for another Friday term,  I'll for sure hit the mark.  But as with most political promises, don't hold your breath!  

So Much the Same 

Robert scratched his initials in the frozen glass on the window pane.  Just as he'd done when he was eight. 

So much the same, yet so much had changed.

As a child, his icy initials seemed to signal the promise of wintry excitement, a snowy day, no school, sledding, snowmen, hot chocolate leading to blissful nap. But now at over 40,  his frozen fingertips etched out only resignation, blustery conditions to be braved,  frigidness to be endured, no matter how cold, no matter how deep, for work never stopped. 

So much the same, yet so much had changed. 

Two headlights shone through the frosted window, and Brad was coming in the SUV, coming to pick him up.

"Always fun to work this day," said Brad,  steam rising from his breath as Robert climbed aboard.

"Yeah.  And remember when the Fourth of July used to be hot?"

So much the same, yet so much had changed.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Long Strange Trip

What a long strange trip it's been!

We've had:

• Flavors of the month 
• Brain farts 
• Flip flops 
• Vacant stares
• Job creators
• Foot long hot dogs 
• Unproven evolution 
• Family values
• Invented people
•  $10,000 bets
• "Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan"
• Smoking in the commercial
• Huntsman in, Huntsman out
• Bachmann in,  Bachmann out
• Perry in, Perry out
• Cain in, Cain out
• Cain in, out, in, out, in, out - allegedly!
• The bane of Bain
• Santorum and Jesus 
• Newt  in, Newt out
• Climate Change, What Me Worry? 
• Cut the deficit
• Tax the rich
• Paul in, Paul out
• Santorum in, Santorum out 
• 12 million jobs
• Arithmetic
• Safety nets
• Didn't build that
• Clinton to the rescue
• Eddie Munster
• 47%
• Obama asleep
• Mitt moderates
• Fire Big Bird!
• Body shut downs
• God digs rape
• Biden's ridin'
• Oh, Sandy,
• "Oh, Barack!"

and then, an election that's over in a couple of hours.

Two years of campaigning, negative advertising,  lies and distortions, untold dollars spent,  and thousands upon thousands upon thousands of hours focused on polls and politicking instead of solving the nation's problems, all leading up to maybe four hours or so of suspense.  

That's like two hours of foreplay followed by less than a half-second of sex.

Something's wrong.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most Obnoxious: Fox News or MSNBC?

Fox News' O'Reilly and Hannity;

Obnoxious yes, but will they earn the brass ring?

At long last, everyone, it's time to vote!

Obama vs. Romney? 

Nah, we were sick of those two long ago.

It's time to vote in the all-important election to determine which of America's two most highly celebrated highly biased television networks is the most obnoxious:

Fox News or MSNBC?

In the right corner we have Fox News, that handmaiden of the Republican Party owned by Rupert Murdoch,  that hand queen of the Republican Party. These guys are so ideologically pure they make a right on a red and everywhere else too.  Fox News is as American as mom, apple pie, and an AK-47,  especially when mom is blasting away at the apple pie with the  AK-47 as target practice in case President Obama shows up to take away her guns. 

In the left corner we have MSNBC, whose slogan is "Lean Forward As Long As You Lean Left." MSNBC believes strongly that the voices of all Americans should be heard except those of Republicans in the House of Representatives.  Ready to right every social wrong and always on the side of the angels, these guys prove demonstrably how hanging with the Devil might be a hell of lot more fun.

Ten Reasons Why Fox News is the Most Obnoxious

1) Fair and Balanced?   Fox News is about as "fair" as Hurricane Sandy and as "balanced" as Governor Christie on the opposite end of a seesaw with .... well, uh .... just about anybody.

2) Use of Sarah Palin as expert commentator highly questionable when the far more intellectual and articulate Victoria Jackson  continuously available.

3) Fox Special Reports all produced by ghost of P.T Barnum.

4) Bill O' Reilly?   A dick.   An entertaining dick to be sure, but a dick.

5) Miss Alan Colmes, Sean Hannity?  Without the goofiest looking liberal in America to make you look marginally handsome,  you have all the charisma of a  slab of meat but without the political insight. 

6) Fox All-Stars =  Fox Fallen Stars when Chris Wallace and Brit Hume aboard the panel. 

7) Cynical use of babe anchors like Megyn Kelly calculated to mislead naive and impressionable younger viewers into believing there are such things in real life as Republican women who are hot.

8)  Sneering  condescending manner in which President Obama frequently referred to as "this President."  C'mon,  guys, haven't you ever considered the possibility that Mr. Obama may actually be "That President!"?

9) Attention, Charles Krauthammer: There are  expressions of which the human face is capable other than  grimacing.  Please try one next time you're telling Bret Baier how it's been a such "a  pleasure" to be spouting ideology with him.

10) Dennis Miller just as unfunny, self-absorbed, and annoying as a conservative as he was as a liberal.  Well, at least he's consistent in some things.

Ten Reasons Why MSNBC is the Most Obnoxious

1) Unlike Fox News, does not claim to be Fair and Balanced.  Virtually screams at you right up front that it is "Obama's Bitch."

2) Frothy the Showman:  Chris Matthews regularly raises frothing at the mouth to high art as he jaws open his show, interviews himself,  has dinner with himself commenting on the excellent dinner conversation, goes home with himself, has sex with himself, and goes to bed.   And the next day, he wakes up ....

3) And the Emmy  for "Most Blatant Misuse of High Intellect for the Purpose of Haranguing and Condescending Rather than Informing and Educating"  goes to .... once again ....  Rachel Maddow!

4) The Place for Politics?  I'll say!  Certainly not the place for anything nobler.

5) Advanced supercomputer required to count number of times in one hour Al Sharpton says "Mr. Romney has to be desperate to engage in such dishonest, fraudulent, sleazy, disgusting, and highly fattening campaign tactics as calling President Obama a "boinker!"

6) Advanced supercomputer required to count number of times in one hour Sharpton guests such as Dana Milbank, Catherine Crier, and even Ed Rendell  rocket back "Absolutely, Rev!" as if  programmed to do so by Rudd Weatherwax, legendary trainer of Lassie.

7) Sure as hell wouldn't want to be caught dead by Melissa Harris-Perry reading a copy of Atlas Shrugged when taking one of her political science courses at Tulane University.

8) Martin Bashir.  Cool accent!  Uncool annoying bias.

9)  Guys, we used to be able to make fun of Fox News with impunity and without reservation. We had them looking like the idiots they are,  and you felt a need to copy them?!!

10) Chris Matthews?  Not a dick.  But can do a really  good impression of one. 


So why should you vote in the Great Fox News vs. MSNBC Election? It's not as if there will be a winner, will there?

Well, remember what it is that you are voting for.  You're voting to determine which of the two television networks is the most obnoxious, not which one is obnoxious while the other isn't. That means that whenever you may watch one ---  should you ever watch one at all --- you already know that what you're watching is opinion/entertainment/bullshit and not at all the news. 

And that, at the very least, makes you a winner!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MSNBC's Sharpton and Matthews

  







 "Did they win the contest, Chris?"                      
                                                                             "No, Rev.  We have not yet begun to annoy!"