"I used to be suffering from any one of a half dozen chronic diseases. But then my doctor prescribed Placebo and now I'm feeling great!
Or maybe I'm not.
Or maybe I'm already dead."
Oh, Oh, Oh Placebo!
Placebo costs you almost nothing. Because it's nothing but sugar, ragweed, and a little bit of Red Dye No.3 for coloring. (That's the red die that's been banned for serious health reasons.) Placebo is perfect for folks who have a shitty Medicare Advantage Plan with super high deductibles or absolutely no health insurance whatsoever!
Placebo is not for everyone. Depression and anxiety may result if one day you realize that all along you could have been taking real medicine that might have actually helped you get better. Don't take Placebo if you're allergic to Red Dye No.3 or if you've caught on to us!
In clinical trials using Placebo and a placebo, over 75% of participants had the same result, and not a good one with Placebo or the placebo. The other 25%, well, maybe they just lucked out. WTF!
"With Placebo, I'm talking my life into my own hands. And I've even lost a little weight, because I'm literally wasting away."
Oh, Oh, Oh Placebo!
Ask your doctor about Placebo.
And hopefully he has the same level of scruples as the doctor who used to prescribe Quaaludes for Perry in the 70's.
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