Saturday, June 24, 2017

There was a Crooked Man and the RNC

"Hello, is this the Republican National Committee?" 
"Yes, this is the RNC.  How can I help you?"

"Yes, well, my name is Perry Block.  I'm a life-long Democrat but I have a proposition that could help the RNC."

"Why would a Democrat want to help the RNC?"

"It's not really for the RNC, it's for our country."

"Our country doesn't need any help from Democrats!  You’re all obstructionists who would vote against tax cuts for even the neediest millionaire. Do you know there are millionaires who can’t even afford a really hot mistress with big tits?”

“Gee, listen to you! It's worse than I thought.  Let me tell you what I’m offering the Republicans.”

“Okay. Shoot!  Which is a right the Dems would take away from us if not for the glorious Second Amendment, which was written by Jesus.”

“I’m offering the Republican Party my spine.”

“What? Why?”

“Because Republicans have no spine.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You all stand in servile supplication to a duplicitous ignorant lout who is destroying our country and probably selling it out to the Russians.”

“All you Dems ever want to talk about is Russia! Why don’t you want to talk about President Trump’s broad-shouldered leadership?  Why, he could carry two or three broads on his shoulders no sweat!”

OMG, you just regurgitate Republican talking points! Look, I'm offering Republicans my spine, flawed as it may be.  You could have copies made for all Republicans in Congress.”

“What do you mean it’s flawed?”

“I have kind of a crooked spine, sort of like Richard III's except instead of being a famous king of England and subject of a towering play by the great William Shakespeare I'm an overage Jewish guy from a dinky town in Pennsylvania."

"If it's flawed, why are you offering it?"

“It’s gotta be better than no spine!

"Wolf Blitzer’s beard is fake news! Obama was not born in the United States but sprang fully grown from the head of Saul Alinsky! Grabbing pussy supplies the daily requirement of eight essential vitamins and minerals!”

"It's hopeless. Look I'm sorry I called." 

"Thank you for calling the RNC.  One thing I did want to ask.”


"What's a spine?"



Russell Gayer said...

My heart goes out to those poor millionaires who can't afford a decent mistress with large implants. You'd the think pharmaceutical lobbyists would see these poor guys (and gals) in distress and help them out (for enough favors).

Perry Block said...

Yes, and I agree that if we want to keep millionaires investing in the economy we've got to keep them happy with big boobed mistresses. Of course I can't even afford a blow up doll with implants, but then again I don't create jobs. Except for the guy that makes the doll.