Friday, April 28, 2017

Easier Trumped Than Done

  

“This is more work than in my previous life,” said Trump in an interview yesterday. “I thought it would be easier.”

Really?

Thought it would be easier to be President of the United States and leader of the Free World than running a reality show? That’s like expecting it to be easier to lead your team to consecutive Super Bowl victories than to purchase Madden 18 and successfully install it before your 2:30 PM nap.

Oddly enough, however, Trump is not the first President to make similar comments about the unexpected difficulties of the job of being President of the United States....


“This is more work than in my previous life,” said George Washington in an interview yesterday. “I thought it would be easier.  I’ve been so busy of late I haven’t had a moment’s time for proper dental care!”

“This is more work than in my previous life,” said Thomas Jefferson in an interview yesterday. “I thought it would be easier.  If only someone would make The Declaration of Independence into a musical, I could make some dough and get out of here! How do you like Well, I Declare! as a title?"  

“This is more work than in my previous life,” said Andrew Jackson in an interview yesterday. “I thought it would be easier. At least that idiot President two centuries from now appreciates me!”

“This is more work than in my previous life,” said Abraham Lincoln in an interview yesterday. “I thought it would be easier.  I thought all I’d have to do is grow some whiskers, bind up the nation’s wounds, and then take in some really great off Broadway theater!”

“This is more work than in my previous life,” said Theodore Roosevelt in an interview yesterday. “I thought it would be easier. Lemme see now: Speak Bigly and Carry a Soft Stick.’ Ahh, shit, I’ll never get that right!”  

“This is more work than in my previous life,” said Barack Obama in an interview yesterday. “I thought it would be easier. One day as President of the United States is like two as a Community Organizer! Maybe three, if the community is in Texas.”


And …


“This is more work than in my previous life,” said the Lord God in an interview yesterday. “I thought it would be easier. Here it’s been 100 days already and I haven’t yet been able to remove that lame ass Trump from being President!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


On the whole, guys, it's a hell of a lot
 easier to be here than President!

4 comments:

Russell said...

Commenting on your posts is more work than in my previous life. When I accepted the role as President of the Perry Block fan club I thought there would be parades, national TV coverage, and beautiful, voluptuous babes begging me to clarify your latest tweets.

Instead, I'm bombarded with requests for free passes to the famous Perry Block theme park, The Cesspool of Middle-Age. Everyone keeps asking me if you're Abe Vigoda's older brother and the eighty-year-old ladies from the retirement center are lifting up their skirts to expose the "Formerly Cute" tattoos on their breast (which are hanging between their knees).

If it wasn't for the weekly massage from Scarlett Johansson, I would have quit this job long ago.

Perry Block said...

Geez! I didn't realize it had gotten to you to the point that you can't tell Scarlett Johansson from Tilda Swinton! http://www.out.com/sites/out.com/files/2016/09/29/tilda-750x563_0.jpg

Tracey Delaplain said...

I was really surprised to find out that being a surgeon was more difficult than playing Hasbro's Opertion Game. The human wishbone really sticks when you try to remove it with tweezers. Who knew?
Dear Trump, Feel free to throw in the towel, this dangerous presidential game you're playing is causing you too much stress and ruining your golf game. Signed, It's more difficult to watch you screw up than I ever imagined.

Perry Block said...

And there I was going to ask you to remove my appendix. Think I'll get somebody who's really good at Hasbro's Operation Game, who never sets off the red nose. Or better yet, somebody great at Twister!