Thursday, April 6, 2017

Bannon and Costello - Separated at Birth

America's second most favorite warped villain, Steve Bannon, has now been booted off the National Security Council's (NSC) Cabinet-level Committee and perhaps demoted by the Trump Administration.  Inquiring minds want to know:


Is it because of his bizarre goal of allying the United States with Russia in a crusade against the world’s Muslims, his plan to deconstruct the administrative state, or the fact that he looks somewhat like one-half of one of the most famous comedy teams ever, Lou Costello of Abbott and Costello fame?

It turns out to be the latter.

"Steve, I really like your idea of lying about liberal activist Angelina Jolie."

"Thanks, Mr. President.  Are you all set to go public with the ridiculous assertion that she has sex with inanimate objects, like rocks."

“Sure.  After all, she was married to Brad Pitt."

"Anything else today, Mr. President?”

"Oh, yes.  Not that it's important, but you're OUT, Steve."

"What?!  Why?!!! Is it because I'm a crazed racist ideologue?”

"Oh, no, that's what I like about you.  It's because you look somewhat like a burned-out Lou Costello."

“But I always thought you liked Abbott and Costello."

"I do, I do,  I love them! That’s the problem."

"I don't understand."

"I can't concentrate on work when you're around!  All I can think about is "Hey, Abbott!"   

“But you have the attention span of a flea to begin with!"

"Yes, but every time I see you I want to rush out and go watch Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.  Ha, ha, ha, ha!" 

"Yes, that is one of their best but ...."

I saw what I saw when I saw it! Ha, ha, ha! What a great line!"

"But ... but ... Mr. President ...."

"Steve, before you leave in total disgrace, let’s do it one more time."

"Sir, I’d rather not."

"Steve, I'm the President, and you're not."

"Okay ... okay!  Mr. President, what are the names of the players on the team?"

"There's Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know on third."

"Yes, but who's on first?"


“Then, who’s on second.”

“No, What’s on second!”

“Very funny, Mr. President.”

"Steve!  Keep going! Keep going!"

"You know, Mr. President, I think I would have liked it a lot better if I
reminded you of Jerry Lewis!"

And in case you've never heard it, here's the complete "Who's on First" routine as performed by Bannon and Costello ....ooops, I mean Abbott and Costello!


Russell said...

Bannnon is no doubt one of Lou Costello's bastard children. As far as Angelina goes, if you painted yourself gray and pretended to be a statue, you might have a shot. I can just see her slobbering all over you with her Mick-Jaggar-style lips.

Perry Block said...

What isn't widely known is that after Costello died Bannon did take over for him in the last Abbott & Costello movie "Hold that Deconstructed State!" It features the hilarious routine "Niagara Falls! Slowly I deport all Muslims ..." Angelina's lips have always bothered me somewhat, to tell the truth, such that I limit myself to only half a dozen fantasies with her a day. That's fewer than I have with the Andrews Sisters! Yep, sisters!