“Good Morning. This is InventHelp.”
“Good Morning,” I said to the gentleman on the other end
of line in return. “May I please speak
to one of the friends of George Foreman?”
“Excuse me, sir?”
“My name is Perry Block and I have an invention that I’d
like to speak to one of George Foreman’s friends at InventHelp about.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t know a George Foreman.”
What?! For months, George Foreman had been telling me
regularly on television that if I should need help with a new product idea or invention I should
“Call my friends at InventHelp.” And
now I had finally put together a contraption I believed some people might find a bit useful, and it seemed George Foreman’s friends were nowhere to be found.
I called my invention the BlockMaster
1000 Time Machine. I’d given it a dry run back to the Renaissance to
meet Leonardo Da Vinci, stopped off in 1889 to spike Baby Hitler’s formula, and though you
won’t fully understand this reference, isn’t the second President Clinton doing a heck of
a good job?
“George Foreman is a famous boxer and celebrity,” I
explained to the gentleman on the phone, “and a very likeable trustworthy guy.
He’s sort of like the Tom Hanks of Boxing.”
“Fine, sir. But we have many well-trained specialists
here at InventHelp who can also help
you.”
“No, thanks. I only want to speak to one of the friends of George
Foreman.”
“Well, I don’t think we have any here.”
“Really? Well, do you have any acquaintances of Mr. Foreman there?”
“Probably not, sir.”
“Anyone there who ever got a selfie with him?”
“I doubt it.”
“An autographed picture then maybe?”
“I don’t know how I could check, sir!”
“An autograph on plain paper then? Even one on heavily
coffee stained yellow note pad paper which is already smearing?”
“I
don’t know, sir!”
“Ah, heck! I guess
you just can’t believe everything you see on television.”
“I’m sorry sir, but we have many InventHelp specialists here to help you.”
“Thanks, but no thanks. It's not that big a deal anyway.”
“Goodbye then, sir.”
“Who was that on the phone, Roger?”
“It was odd. A guy who only wanted to talk to somebody
who was a friend of a boxer named George Foreman.”
“George
Foreman! I know you’re new here, Roger, but you should know George
Foreman does our commercials telling everyone to ‘Call my friends at InventHelp.’”
“I’m sorry, Fred.”
“Did you get the guy’s name?”
“No, I didn’t and our system is down and didn’t record
his phone number either.”
“That’s okay, Roger.”
“How come?”
“Most of these inventions don’t amount to a damn thing
anyway.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 comments:
Well at least the "legal empire" spam people like your "different post". Ha ha. I like to imagine you actually having these conversations. Funny business, Tracey
Yep, at least spammers like me. And you. And spammers.
Blockbuster 1000, huh? I thought that was the gadget you invented to illegally download pay-for-view porn? Perhaps you should be calling friends of Larry Flint.
Don't bother me, son! I'm busy taking care of Baby Trump too.
Post a Comment