"So, you finally found a fine bromance," I said to my friend Mark as we sat in one of our favorite
Center City haunts. "Tell me all about your new fella."
I have to admit I’d been surprised
when Mark
told me that he was looking for a hot bromance. I knew his marriage was on the rocks, but I was
skeptical that a serious platonic relationship with another guy would make
things better.
"He's everything I've always
dreamed about in a bromance!" Mark enthused.
Dreamed about in a bromance? This is a guy who used to have wet dreams about getting through the summer without his lawn getting crab grass.
Dreamed about in a bromance? This is a guy who used to have wet dreams about getting through the summer without his lawn getting crab grass.
"What’s his name?” I asked.
"Where did you meet him?"
"His name is Roger," Mark said. "I met him at my daughter's ballet class.”
"He was taking ballet with 14-year-old girls?"
"Of course not. He owns the school.”
"His name is Roger," Mark said. "I met him at my daughter's ballet class.”
"He was taking ballet with 14-year-old girls?"
"Of course not. He owns the school.”
“How did you two get to talking?”
“I asked him where the bathroom was. He said ‘straight down the hall and to the
left, you need a key.’ I tell you, it
was magic!”
“Sounds almost as magical as
an evening with Penn and Teller!”
"We went to a
sports bar and talked for hours,” Mark said happily. “I knew he
would be my one true bromance.”
One true bromance? The
closest I ever got to one true bromance was with Ernie the Mechanic the six
months he was trying to figure out how to stop my Pinto from clanging.
"So what have you
two guys done together since?"
"What haven't we done? We've been to ball games, concerts, museums,
poetry readings. Last week we went up to an exhibit of futuristic art in
New York."
“I remember when your concept of futuristic art was a drawing of the
Jetsons.”
“Yes, life is good, Perry, life is good!”
"But has all this helped your marriage?"
"No, Roger has helped me to see it was time for it to end. My wife Jane fully agrees and we’ve begun our amicable divorce.”
"No, Roger has helped me to see it was time for it to end. My wife Jane fully agrees and we’ve begun our amicable divorce.”
“Mark, if you’re happy, I’m happy.
I’m just not sure I’m sold on the idea of bromance.”
Just then a great-looking blonde entered the bar.
"Oh my god, Mark, look at her!" I gasped.
“Perry, that’s Jennifer!”
"Oh my god, Mark, look at her!" I gasped.
“Perry, that’s Jennifer!”
“Who’s Jennifer?”
“My new girl.”
“Wha-a-at??"
“Jennifer," Mark called to her. "Come meet Perry!"
"Hi, Perry," cooed Jennifer. "Hiya, Markie!”
"Mark, how... how ... did you two meet?"
"Through Roger. He’s taught me a lot about the ladies too.”
"Can we leave now,
Markie?" sighed Jennifer.
"Sorry, Perry.”
"Mark, can I ask
you something?"
"Sure."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 comments:
Third try - This needs to be published in the New Yorker.
Well, I finally got something to stick in the comments. You probably wrote this post in less time than it took me to leave an eleven word comment.
How do you like Gardenlover for a bromance name? It's actually, my wife's but she said I could borrow it to use on your site.
I hear Armando has an older brother named Don Julio. You two can cruise retirement centers, play a little shuffleboard and dominos, and pick up a harem of rich widows. If that doesn't work, try hanging out in front of the Depends display at your local grocery store. Better hurry. These old gals are dying to meet you.
Thanks for you nice comment. Most people think it shouldn't be published at all. And I know for some reason, it is difficult to leave comments on Blogger. Otherwise maybe I'd get some.
you mean comments, right?
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