Saturday, May 2, 2015

A Fine Bromance - Part II

"So, you finally found a fine bromance," I said to my friend Mark as we sat in one of our favorite Center City haunts. "Tell me all about your new fella."

I have to admit I’d been surprised when Mark told me that he was looking for a hot bromance. I knew his marriage was on the rocks, but I was skeptical that a serious platonic relationship with another guy would make things better.

"He's everything I've always dreamed about in a bromance!" Mark enthused.

Dreamed about in a bromance? This is a guy who used to have wet dreams about getting through the summer without his lawn getting crab grass.

"What’s his name?” I asked. "Where did you meet him?"

"His name is Roger," Mark said. "I met him at my daughter's ballet class.”

"He was taking ballet with 14-year-old girls?"

"Of course not. He owns the school.”

“How did you two get to talking?”

“I asked him where the bathroom was.  He said ‘straight down the hall and to the left, you need a key.’  I tell you, it was magic!”

“Sounds almost as magical as an evening with Penn and Teller!” 

"We went to a sports bar and talked for hours,” Mark said happily. “I knew he would be my one true bromance.” 

One true bromance? The closest I ever got to one true bromance was with Ernie the Mechanic the six months he was trying to figure out how to stop my Pinto from clanging.

"So what have you two guys done together since?"
"What haven't we done? We've been to ball games, concerts, museums, poetry readings. Last week we went up to an exhibit of futuristic art in New York."
“I remember when your concept of futuristic art was a drawing of the Jetsons.”
“Yes, life is good, Perry, life is good!”
"But has all this helped your marriage?"

"No, Roger has helped me to see it was time for it to end. My wife Jane fully agrees and we’ve begun our amicable divorce.”
“Mark, if you’re happy, I’m happy.  I’m just not sure I’m sold on the idea of bromance.”
Just then a great-looking blonde entered the bar.

"Oh my god, Mark, look at her!" I gasped.

“Perry, that’s Jennifer!”
“Who’s Jennifer?”
“My new girl.”
“Jennifer," Mark called to her. "Come meet Perry!"
"Hi, Perry," cooed Jennifer. "Hiya, Markie!”
"Mark, how... how ... did you two meet?"

"Through Roger.  He’s taught me a lot about the ladies too.”

"Can we leave now, Markie?" sighed Jennifer.

"Sorry, Perry.”
"Mark, can I ask you something?"


"Does Roger have a brother?”



Gardenlover said...

Third try - This needs to be published in the New Yorker.

Gardenlover said...

Well, I finally got something to stick in the comments. You probably wrote this post in less time than it took me to leave an eleven word comment.

How do you like Gardenlover for a bromance name? It's actually, my wife's but she said I could borrow it to use on your site.

I hear Armando has an older brother named Don Julio. You two can cruise retirement centers, play a little shuffleboard and dominos, and pick up a harem of rich widows. If that doesn't work, try hanging out in front of the Depends display at your local grocery store. Better hurry. These old gals are dying to meet you.

Perry Block said...

Thanks for you nice comment. Most people think it shouldn't be published at all. And I know for some reason, it is difficult to leave comments on Blogger. Otherwise maybe I'd get some.

Russell said...

you mean comments, right?