Two friends, Perry and Andy, sit commiserating in a neighborhood bar.
Andy: That's an understatement. Seems my wife is never home anymore, always out shopping.
Perry: Well, that's not unusual. Many women like to go shopping.
Andy: For small arms weaponry?
Perry: Oh. So what do you want to do? Get a divorce? Look for a woman on the side?
Andy: No, can't afford either.
Perry: What then?
Andy: I want a bromance! A close friendship with another man to fill the void.
Perry: I've heard of bromances. But where do you go to meet other guys to have bromance with?
Andy: Perry! There are bromance bars all over town!
Perry: I see. So you're going to frequent bromance bars and hit on guys to have bromance with?
Andy: Yeah, baby! I'm gonna be out at night cruisin' the bars looking for hot bromance!
Perry: Well, do you have any idea how to hit on guys to have bromance with in a bromance bar?
Andy: I think I'll pick out a guy with soft, sensitive looks who seems like he'd be swell to discuss the Eagles or Flyers with, and then pitch him a slick line.
Perry: What kind of a line? Like "Where have you been all my life? Camping in the Adirondacks?""
Andy: Yeah, or maybe "Come here to discuss politics often?" or "Buy you a drink, tall, dark, and platonic?"
Perry: Oh, that'll break the ice all right. But what if he's not looking for bromance or what if he's looking for a woman?
Andy: Come on, Perry! He's in a bromance bar!
Perry: You're right; I forgot. So let's say you start connecting with a guy and you're finding a lot in common, how do you then "move the party" elsewhere, if you catch my drift?
Andy: I think you ask the fella if he wants to take a walk or go get coffee so you can really get to know each other. Then you invite him back to your place for a nightcap. When the timing is right, you pop the question: "Would you be my bromance!"
Perry: I think you'd better wait on that.
Perry: You want to make good and sure it's true bromance, not just puppy bromance.
Andy: Oh, right. Well, I'm off to find me some bromance bars. Care to come with?
Perry: No, I don't think so. Right now I'm not in the market for a bromance. I need to figure out who I am first.
Andy: I understand. Okay, wish me luck!
Perry: Yep. Hope you find that very special someone to go fishing, play cards, and attend lectures at the Museum of Modern Art with.
Perry: I just don't think any of this is for me. A bromance bar sounds a bit too much like a gay bar without erections.