Thursday, October 11, 2012

Hassan and the American

If it's Friday, it must be the  Great Madison Woods Friday Flash Fiction Extravaganza & Traveling Show!

Only thing is, it's Thursday.   I got my contribution done early and thought I'd post it.  Above is the pictorial prompt, below the prompt provoked piece.  

So sue me. 

Hassan and the American

Hassan had always felt it was a honor to be a real estate professional in the  historically rich city on the Mediterranean in which he had lived since birth.

He had worked so very hard his entire life to achieve this measure of growing success. His clientele had now extended to include wealthy foreigners, including a fair number of Americans.  

Today he was scheduled to meet with one such American,  one that if well-satisfied was in a position to send him a great deal more business from many well-heeled Americans.  But Hassan found no hope or joy in this prospect.  He found only fear and sorrow.  

The American had informed him earlier that week that he was interested in property in the Village Ancienne with its centuries old white-walled living quarters, only minimally updated plumbing and other facilities, and narrow stone alleyways well- trodden as far back as Biblical times. 

"This will not be easy," Hassan thought as he left to pick up the American.  

"Not easy?" he cried aloud, "it will be a disaster!"

As Hassan and the American approached the entrance to the Village Ancienne,  Hassan knew that the time had more than come.  He drew a deep breath. 

"With all due respect, sir, " he began, "I just don't think that ...."

His quavering voice broke off. 

"What's that?" said the American, "You just don't think what?"

Hassan sputtered once more, then it all came pouring out.

"I just don't think this is the property for you, Governor Christie!"

The End

And Coming Soon:

The Metamorphosis,
 the Musical!

Based on characters created by Franz Kafka
(It's gonna be a toe-tappin', mandible droppin' delight!


janet said...

:-) Thanks for starting my morning off with a smile.

Perry Block said...

You're welcome, Janet.

That'll be a buck, seventy five. Just the same as if you started off your morning at Starbucks.

Boomie Bol said...

Smiles...very well done!

Perry Block said...


Wonder if the Governor would be ... smiles. Never know.

See.Williams said...

Cute little story you've got here...though, i am lost on the meaning of the final catch line! Well done!
BTW, your bio got me a dose of laughter!

Perry Block said...

Let's just say Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey, as is well known to most Americans, would have trouble fitting through the Straits of Gibraltar.

It's okay, everybody makes these kind of jokes in America as long as it's in fun.

Thanks for the nice compliment on the bio.

K.D. McCrite said...

Perry, you are the master. You kill me. You slay me. God bless your heart, anyway.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

I don't know which made me laugh louder, Perry, your story or your profile.

Anonymous said...

Hi Perry,
Maybe, if you stripped him down, and greased him with KY jelly. Ron

Tom Poet said...

You always make me laugh Perry..Hopefully he'll eat his meals in New York City, being forced to wash it down with a small coke and in time able to make it down the alleyway. Thanks for commenting on mine...

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! In fairness, Christie could probably sidle down the alley, just not side-to-side with me ;-)

Also--loved your "About Me" blurb in the sidebar. I will be visiting your blog again soon for more laughs.

billgncs said...

don't they have lots of olive oil in that climate ?
might need to keep some handy. Good one.

Perry Block said...

So far he has shown more of an inclination towards the "kill me," "slay me" line of thought than the "bless me" concept.

I'll keep working him though.

Thanks, kd!

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Rochelle.

They're going to square off in a debate soon to determine which is the funniest.

Perry Block said...

Ron, does Madison give out any prizes for the most gross-out take ever on a prompt?

"Stripped him down and greased him ...." What the hell is going on down in Arkansas?

But thanks for writing.

Perry Block said...

Yes, but a skinny Chris Christie severely narrows comedic opportunities for us all!

Frankly I did not get with the "full bladder" aspect of your story at first as I ascribed something more nefarious in his motives than peeping.

Thank you, I'm relieved. As was he.

Perry Block said...

Thank you very much, Jan.

Christie could not sidle down the alley. He can barely fit in certain parts of New Jersey.

Perry Block said...

What is going on with guys like you and Ron?

Olive oil ... KY Jelly ... and Chris Christie!

What you must think of us Northerners!

Parul said...

Your earlier explanation helped. This is comical, but what takes the cake is your profile description!
Intelligent humor! Like it! :)

Perry Block said...

Intelligent humor? I mean to do slapstick!

Thanks for your nice comment, Parul.

Reading Pleasure said...

Very well done and a gret bio.

Anonymous said...

I think you're barking up the wrong tree with this poltical satire stuff, Perry. Politicians never give us any reason to make fun of them. Okay, maybe Biden's hair plugs give me a little chuckle, but that's about it. Wait, come to think of it, Pelosi's 'Stepford Wife' stare is kinda funny too. :)

Great story!

Perry Block said...

Well, what can I say?

My life has been very bit that fascinating and devil-may-care!

Thanks for writing.

Perry Block said...

And don't forget Ryan's Eddie Munster hairline.
And Sarah Palin's Herman Munster brainline.

And ... there's plenty of barking left to do!

Anonymous said...

Bwahahahaaa! Thank you. I can now face another day in Texas. ;)

Perry Block said...

High praise indeed! Thank you.

Shirley said...

So cute. Seems a lot of these stories have surprise endings this time.

Lora said...

Jhardy...chuckle, chuckle.

Lora said...

Ok...the twist was a quaint surprise...but I like Christie regardless of his weight and sorry he didn't run for higher office. He's done a superb job turning NJersey around.

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed your profile/ bio and, based on that alone, will be back often. But even though I'e seen Christie any number of times, your ending escaped me. The entire piece was very well written, I just missed the meaning of your ending. Mine's at if you get a chance.

Anonymous said...

unfortunately - christie is my governor. more unfortunately - this is not a true story! please send him away!

Anonymous said...

he claims he's cutting taxes, and for specific one he is, but he's only making up for it by doubling and tripling other fees around the state. he's not turning my state around. he's a bully who doesn't understand how to negotiate. he throws his weight around (pun intended) and doesn't care about diplomacy or tact.

listen to the springsteen song "wrecking ball," it's all about him.

Brian said...

This gave me a laugh (and actually, even though I've been to your site before, this was the first time I read your profile over there - and it made me laugh out loud). Good writing, sir, good writing!

Tom Poet said...

He wasn't just peeing he was pissing on a white wall...seems criminal enough to me. But you are not the only one who was confused by mine this week...


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the clarification in the comment. It is almost like the camel through the needle's eye. Thanks

Perry Block said...

And I'm usually so astute when it comes to urination in literature ...

Perry Block said...

He'll have to turn it around, Lora, if he wants to fit in it.

Perry Block said...

...which makes a surprise ending no surprise.

Or something like that. Thanks, Shirley.

Perry Block said...

I'm not sure that Governor Christie doesn't care about tact or diplomacy.

I understand he is always quick to eat his words any chance he gets!


Perry Block said...

Hopefully you've gotten the ending by now, but let's just say the skinny on the property in question was that it would be no fat city for Christie!

Now, I've kinda confused myself ...

Perry Block said...

Send him away?

Do you have any idea how much postage that would take?!!!

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Brian.

But that was a serious bio.

What's so funny about it?!

Perry Block said...

That's an apt comparison.

Except the camel does have somewhat of a chance to get through ...

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Perry,

Blogspot is preventing me from commenting. It already erased a two page comment that would have brought tears to your eyes. I'm sorry. I enjoyed this story. Going to cut and paste this comment incase it goes awy again.



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