Friday, October 19, 2012

The Good Old 1863

Taking a break from the Legendary Jewish Vampire, Vlad the Retailer to hop on over to Madison Woods Friday Flash Fictioneers.

The Prompt is above, the Story below.  

Vlad sure wouldn't like all that bright sunlight.   Good thing I left him home in his coffin.

The Good Old 1863

It was 8:15 on a Tuesday morning in Jefferson City and already they were lining up eagerly.

Lining up, that is, to climb on board Jefferson Lines Bus No. 1863, departing Jeff City 8:45 A.M. and arriving 9:35 A.M. in neighboring Mt. Bailey.  Most of the folks in line had been taking the Good Old 1863  for several months now, traveling to Mt. Bailey on a Tuesday for the weekly meeting of the Jefferson County Blame Someone Else Society.

There was Big Bob Byron himself right at the head of the line.  Big Bob had founded the Society secure in the conviction than anything bad that had ever happened to him was the fault of his foreman, Drake Beighley.  Big Bob had arranged the meetings be held in Mt. Bailey rather than Jeff City because they had a much bigger town hall which was already proving to be sorely needed.

The weekly meetings of the Jefferson County Blame Someone Else Society usually began with a greeting by Big Bob, who next railed against Drake Beighley for half an hour or so and then opened it up to the floor. Others came forward to rail against those responsible for their own misfortunes --- against the staff member whose fault it was Ralph didn't get a promotion, against the ex-boyfriend who caused Angela to give up on life, against the assistant coach who ruined the morale of Coach Cassidy's team, and so on.

It was now 8:40 A.M.  The bus driver flung open the doors and bade the passengers enter:

"Climb on.  Climb off.  Throw under."

That's the mantra down at the Good Old 1863, leaving Jeff City 8:45 A.M. and arriving Mt. Bailey 9:35 A.M. each and every Tuesday of the month.

All Aboard!



Anonymous said...

You did Vlad proud and you didn't rob me of my weekly dose of sharp humor. Thanks. :-)

Anonymous said...

Fun to read! Thanks for the visit to the JCBSES! I bet they are fun to listen to - well, for awhile.

Unknown said...

Very well done as always :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Perry,
How can I join this group? I need to assign blame for a great many failures, and escape any responsibility myself. You see, I'm part of the 47 percent. Ron

Russell said...

I'm blaming Ron for everything. I could have written a better story, but he submitted a photo of a bus. What am I supposed to do with that? Thankfully, I got a friend to photoshop the top of the bus to make is somewhat usable. In fact, I think my bus is headed over to Mt. Bailey right now.

Tom Poet said...


Thanks for wasting my time and making me read more than a hundred words. You went over the limit and now I can't comment on other blogs because you used up what little time I have...I hope you're happy. It's all your fault!


Anonymous said...

Are you related to Russell?

Anonymous said...

Once again it's Bob... Well fat big Bob Grossman seems to be a consensus. Look forward to read more of you in weeks to come.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

I'm laughing so hard I'm going to fall off my chair. Now who should I blame? Perry, Russell or Tom?
Good job, Perry.

Perry Block said...

Thank you so much!

Too bad I only had that one dose and not enough to go around for the other readers ...

Perry Block said...

I only really like the part at the Blame Somebody Else Society meetings where I get to talk about all of you.

Thanks for writing!

Perry Block said...

Thank you, but it wasn't all that well done.

Of course it wasn't my fault, it was the fault of the stupid prompt!

And another thing ...

Perry Block said...

You're already in, Ron. We're holding a place for you at the head table.

Thanks for the prompt!

Perry Block said...

Well, you're right about that, Russell!

Tonight's meeting is tentatively called "Everybody Hates Ron." It's catered and we're expecting a record turnout.

Thanks for writing.

Perry Block said...

"Everybody Hates Perry" meetings are every other Tuesday. People come from all 50 states, Mexico, and Canada.

You should phone ahead for a reservation and be prepared to wait in line.


Perry Block said...

Wish I had his hair and beard!

Perry Block said...

I think it would be well within reason for your protagonist to blame Fat Bob for her ultimate vaporization.

Too bad there won't be any meetings left for her to attend, let alone any "her" left.

Thanks for the comment!

Perry Block said...

Blame the chair.

Thanks for writing and good luck as Fictioneer Czar!

Lora said...

First we had Fat we have Big Bob...I'm waiting for Slob Bob to show up soon. I'm also blaming you for going over 100 words.

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Perry,

there is an old japanese saying that goes like this, "Fix the problem, not the blame." Well, there is no problem with your story and for that I blame you. Try to do better next time.



Perry Block said...

The real problem with my story is that you read it! Otherwise it would have been great.

Thanks for nothing!

Perry Block said...

Blaming me? YOU told me to go over 100 words!

Of course so did all the Bobs.

Thanks for commenting.

Anonymous said...

Poor Bob. Not the story Bob but the name -- it just can't seem to rise above it's Bob-ness. ;) That was great fun, and I'm enjoying your writing voice a great deal.

Perry Block said...

Thank you very much.

I take full credit for your enjoying my writing very much. Hands off, multiple Bobs!

Perry Block said...

Author's Note: I was very pleased with how this piece turned out even though it became more serious than intended. I looked at a bus and thought about things about a bus, got the "throw under concept" and worked back from there. Wound up with something that spoke to a human trait that is way, way too human in me. Not as funny as I'd like but interesting.

Meanwhile the Fictioneer commentathon continues. I love getting the comments but sure wish that my other lonely pieces got a few more in this vein as well.