Ms. Carlyle levels her shocking allegation
A woman has now come forward and claimed that she has never been sexually harassed or assaulted in any manner whatsoever by either Donald Trump or Bill Clinton. The woman, Jane Carlyle of Collingswood NJ, has alleged emphatically that despite ample opportunity available to each man throughout Ms. Carlyle’s 37 years, neither one of them has ever attempted to have sex with her!
This is the first known instance in which a woman has approached the media to allege that neither the present Republican candidate for President of the United States or the 42nd President of the United States has ever groped or fondled her.
“It’s been a harrowing experience,” said Carlyle, an accountant from Collingswood NJ. “I vividly recall the evening of March 14, 2008. I came home from work, watched some TV, and went to bed. I had no contact with Mr. Trump or Mr. Clinton whatsoever, let alone sexual assault!"
Both Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have vigorously denied that they did not come on to Carlyle, and Trump has even suggested he rounded the bases.
“Look at her!” thundered Trump at his last rally. “Wish I could tell Billy about this one!”
For his part, Bubba just sighed.