"What a fabulous face!" I said to Armand on the occasion of his one-man show at the Arts Centre. "Who was she?"
"She was my wife," Armand said ruefully. "She left me."
"What on earth happened?" I asked.
"She ran off with some overage insecure balding failed blog writer."
"Amazing! How did a loser like that get such a fascinating woman?"
"She always took an interest in hopeless causes."
"What did you do about it?"
"Nothing until this very moment, when I poisoned his sangria at my one-man show."
"But that wasn't me!"
"Oh, I know. But you're as close as I'm ever gonna get."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, as I breathe my last, I'm proud to say I brought in this contribution to the Friday Fictioneers based on the picture prompt above at a mere 104 words. What a fitting legacy for me, who has been known to exceed the FF limit of 100 words by as much as a couple dozen tweets and the length of Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad!
Everything's going dark now ... except for the contributions of the other Fictioneers, which you can access by clicking here. Goodbye cruel virtual world! There's only one thing more left to say.
Good thing I don't like sangria.
50 comments:
Good Humour! I like it :)
Sounds like ice cream. I like that! Thanks.
Hey, you gotta take what you can get, darling. (Oh dear god, I set myself up for whatever comes next, and here, my backspace key is broken again. Shit.)
When it comes to you, darling, I'm most interested in my "enter" key!
Ha.. it wasn't me.. not yet balding
Too bad. Armand thought you were, and there's a list..
Live hard, die young, and leave a good looking corpse. I might have qualified for the first one, Perry, but you're too old to die young and I'm not even going to comment on the condition of your corpse. I hear bald is very popular in the next life.
Yeah, that means Telly Savalas is going to be nailing all the chicks that I go after up there. For once I'm not bald enough, and it's for eternity!
Oh how mean! But quite funny.
Hey, if you gotta go, drinking wine is the second best way to go, and you probably don't have a shot at the very best way, so....
I'm dead and you're finding it funny!
Yeah, I hope it is. My business hasn't exactly been booming lately.
Don't have a shot at the very best way? As I said, call me when the boob job is done, and we'll give it a shot!
LOL I'm sorry, Perry, I know you almost died but I just can't stop laughing :)
That's okay. You're evil. Everybody knows it.
Loved the twist at the end. :D
Thank you. I always love a twist at the end where I'm dead too!
We've only your word for it that it wasn't you... :)
Do I look like a hopeless cause to you?
No wonder she left him.
Good good story with a great funny ending. Your comments following it were as funny as the story.
Interesting version of revenge, not sure it would be effective though. Great story!
So funny!
You're so funny! I also loved your bit at the end after the story.
Well,at least you got to drink the sangria ;-)lol!Again,a great job Perry :-)
Poor, poor Perry; always taking the fall! You clever, funny man. ;-)
A strange revenge. But if that does the trick, why not?
Now, Perry, what did Russell ever do to you anyway?
Hi Perry,
Poisoned wine seems to be the theme of the day. Wow, could have had a V8. Ron
But couldn't she have left him for a cool guy?
Thank you. And I wrote those comments with the Grim Reaper going "C'mon already, c'mon already!"
Well, it certainly would serve to deter the original offender. Me, I'm walking the straight and narrow.
When someone named Reading Pleasure gives you a "so funny!" how can you lose?
Another so funny! I'm well on my way to "too funny!"
Thank you, but I'll pass on the sangria.
No, you're taking the fall! I won't play the sap for you, not you or anybody else! I won't walk in Thursby's shoes and the .... oh,sorry, I got carried away there. Yeah, you're right, I'm talking the fall.
Well, if it does the trick, happy to oblige!
I thought it might be Russell too at first but his hair's too good. And as much as I like the guy, I'm not pulling a Sydney Carton for him, no way, no how!
You're right about the poisoned wine. Based on this week's stories, there should be about 13 Friday Fictioneers left to come back next week.
If all the Friday Fictioneers get killed off, I may get a shot at being in the top ten for a change! Sorry to hear of your demise.
Dear Perry,
Keep in mind, one of the hottest guys around is Patrick Stewart. He put the B-eautiful in B-ald. IMHO. I'm swearing off wine this week. ;)
Shalom,
Rochelle
Yes, but I'll haunt you!
True, but it doesn't hurt to have two iconic roles to your credit as well. Besides this post isn't about bald, it's about that Fabulous Face!
Gosh, you are so clever and good story! Thanks - too bad he didn't care that he got the wrong man. Close only counts in Horseshoes! Thanks, Nan
Thanks for the compliment. At my age, any comment about horseshoes is kind of scary, but I appreciate the kind words.
Damn all those "other" overage insecure balding failed blog writing wife stealers!
And the worst thing is they won't even let me into the club because I'm not bald enough!
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