There's a Meeting Here Tonight

I've been doing this too damn long!

BREAKING NEWS!

And we have Breaking News!  We welcome our viewers in the United States and around the world, you're in the Situation Room!  

At this point I would normally mention my name "Wolf Blitzer" but I've been informed by Jeff Zucker that if I'm going to be kept on at CNN despite my advanced age I've got to comply with the youth demographic and begin calling myself "Cub Blitzer."

So, this is Cub Blitzer with Breaking News!

We have been reporting lately on a meeting held at Trump Tower on June 9th between four people - Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, Paul Manafort, and Russian attorney Natalia Veselnitskaya, who promised information from the Russian government harmful to Hillary Clinton.  
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We subsequently learned that there were at least eight people in the meeting on June 9th at Trump Tower.  In addition to Trump Jr., Kushner, Manafort, and Veselnitskaya, also in attendance were publicist Rob Goldstone, lobbyist Rinat Akhmetshin, a unnamed representative of the Russian family sponsoring the meeting, and a translator.

Now a reliable source close to CNN has reported that there were even more people in attendance at the meeting!

We have now learned that there were at least ten people in the meeting on June 9th at Trump Towers.  In addition to Trump Jr., Kushner, Manafort, Veselnitskaya, Akhmetshin, Goldstone, the family representative, and the translator, also in attendance were two members of the Bolshoi Ballet, Katerina Legsamovich and Boris Protrudickski.

It is not known if Legsamovich and Protrudickski danced at the meeting, but CNN has learned that they both looked quite fetching in their tight ballet pants.


MORE BREAKING NEWS!

This is Cub Blitzer with More Breaking News!

We have now learned that there were at least 13 people and one animal in the meeting on June 9th in Trump Towers!  In addition to Trump Jr., Kushner, Manafort, Veselnitskaya, Akhmetshin, Goldstone, the family representative, the translator, Legsamovich, and Protrudickski, also in attendance were three clowns from the Moscow Circus (Rudolph Krupskaya, Antonin Chekinski, and Sparkles) and Ivan the Dancing Bear, also from the Moscow Circus.  

It is not known if the Ivan the Dancing Bear danced at the meeting, but CNN has learned that he looked quite fetching in his tight ballet pants.


EVEN MORE BREAKING NEWS! 

This is Cub Blitzer with Even More Breaking News!

We have now learned that there were at least 18 people and one animal in the meeting on June 9th in Trump Towers. In addition to Trump Jr., Kushner, Manafort, Veselnitskaya, Akhmetshin, Goldstone, the family representative, the translator, Legsamovich, Protrudickski, Krupskaya, Chekinski, Sparkles, and Ivan the Dancing Bear, also in attendance were right wing actor Kelsey Grammer and all four of his wives and ex-wives.

It is not known if Grammer's ex-wife Leigh-Anne Csuhany, a former exotic dancer, danced at the meeting, but CNN has learned that she looking incredibly fetching in her tight ballet pants!!!

This is amazing, folks!  How many more people can fit in a meeting room? This whole thing is getting to be like the Marx Brothers movie where a ridiculous number of people crowd into a state room!

BREAKING NEWS UP YOUR TUCHAS! 

This is Cub Blitzer with Breaking News Up Your Tuchas!

We have now learned that there were at least 22 people and one animal in the meeting on June 9th in Trump Towers. In addition to Trump Jr., Kushner, Manafort, Veselnitskaya, Akhmetshin, Goldstone, the family representative, the translator, Legsamovich, Protrudickski, Krupskaya, Chekinski, Sparkles, Ivan the Dancing Bear, and Kelsey Grammer and all four of his wives and ex-wives, also in attendance were the four Marx Brothers.

It is known that none of the Marx Brothers danced at the meeting,  and nobody looked fetching, not even Zeppo.

A FUCKING SHITLOAD OF BREAKING NEWS!

This is Cub Blitzer with A Fucking Shitload of Breaking News!

I am worn out.

We have now learned that there were at least 270 people and one animal in the meeting on June 9th in Trump Towers. In addition to Trump Jr., Kushner, Manafort, Veselnitskaya, Akhmetshin, Goldstone, the family representative, the translator, Legsamovich, Protrudickski, Krupskaya, Chekinski, Sparkles, Ivan the Dancing Bear, Kelsey Grammer and all four of his wives and ex-wives, and the four Marx Brothers, also in attendance were all 248 Republicans in the House of Representatives.

It is not known whether any of the Republicans danced at the meeting, but CNN has learned they all looked absolutely ridiculous in their tight ballet pants.

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Ivan, will you testify in exchange for immunity?

The Secret of My Blogging Success

Welcome  to Perry's Blog!  

And tell 'em Groucho sent ya!

You've read all the recommendations all across the Internet and elsewhere as to how to drive traffic to your blog like they drove cattle across the Old West in the TV show Rawhide, and you feel you know it all.

Content is king, write about what you know, blog regularly but not too often, write about boobs (not that I would ever stoop to that!), and schmooze regularly on social media. But this is one  sure-fire secret that only I  and I alone know!

It's written right above:   tell 'em Groucho sent ya!

Back in June during the midst of the presidential campaign, I wrote a luke-warm political post called Whatever It Is, I'm Against It. the premise of which was that Mitt Romney --- whom some of you might remember ---  managed to criticize all of President Obama's  policies without offering any of his own. In the post, Mitt sings the famous Groucho Marx song from the movie Horse Feathers to interviewer Bob Schiefer in response to any question he's asked about anything remotely substantive.

I thought the post was mildly mirthful but apparently others did not.  It garnered little interest and no comments,  although that is certainly not unusual for a blog so comment deprived that even derogatory comments with personal and ethnic slurs are highly prized. So I gave it no mind and pressed on to further blogging disasters.

Then a curious thing happened.  While checking stats on Blogger, I noticed that Whatever It Is, I'm Against It was garnering more clicks than a tap dancing troupe in a hurricane. Clocking in at as many as 100 or more a day, it was getting more daily hits than most of my posts get in their entire meager and pathetic lifetimes.

How'd all those folks get there?  To paraphrase the catchphrase of Groucho's 1950's TV show You Bet Your Life ... 

Groucho Sent 'Em! 

All those making apparent pilgrimage to Perry were coming via Google in a search for the song and mustachioed comedian who warbled it. I had hit upon a niche area in the career of the fabled Marx Brother in which many people were interested but which had such sufficiently few search entries that mine prominently showed up.

Here's your Takeaway, Class:   Write about something  or someone that's popular but zero in on a relatively limited aspect of your subject.  For example:

Don't just write about  "Nicholas Cage."  Write about "Great Performances by Nicholas Cage." 

Don't just write about "ABBA." Write about  "Songs that don't suck by ABBA."

      Don't just write about the "NRA." Write about the "NRA and ideas that are not batshit!"

There's only one problem.  None of those people clicking onto Whatever it is, I'm Against It has the slightest interest in my post. No one has yet to leave a  comment or is likely to even read far enough to get the premise, much less like it. They want Groucho, not Blocko!

That's 16,437 people to date clicking into a site they had no intention of going to, yelling "shit, who is this asshole?!!" and promptly clicking out.  

Ooops, make that 16,632!  Anyway, give the secret of my blogging success a try.

And tell 'em Perry sent ya! 

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Let's see how today's post fares in the faux Groucho clicks category.  Pretty soon, Blocko may be the fifth Marx Brother!