Siberian cat got your tongue?
Agent Cooper: Bobby, it's time to interrogate Jared Kushner. Are you ready?
Agent Slick: Sure am. What's he being charged with, Mark?
Agent Cooper: 116 meetings with Russian dignitaries including 19 sleepovers with Vladimir Putin, three games of Twister with Foreign Minister Lavrov, and an evening baking fudge with Ambassador Kislyak.
Agent Slick: Well, he's already had his Miranda warnings, so let's go.
Agent Cooper: Good morning, Mr. Kushner, my name is Agent Cooper, my partner is Agent Slick.
Agent Slick: What'd did he say?
Agent Cooper: I don't think he said anything. You know, nobody's ever heard him speak.
Agent Slick: We just want to ask you a few questions, Mr. Kushner. Okay?
Agent Cooper: I guess maybe he's a mime. Like Marcel Marceau.
Agent Slick: If that's true, he's a very unentertaining one
Agent Cooper: Mr. Kushner, is it the Jewish Shabbat and you're not allowed to speak?
Agent Slick: No, Mark, you're allowed to speak on Shabbat. Unless God is timing you out.
Agent Cooper: Mr. Kushner, what is your involvement with the Russians?
Agent Slick: What the fuck?!
Agent Cooper: Okay, Bobby, let's try this. Let's play charades. Mr. Kushner, can you act out your involvement with the Russians?
Agent Slick: He's pointed to his eye. Now he's hugging himself.
Agent Cooper: "I love" ... "I love" what, Mr. Kushner?
Agent Slick: And now he's running around. He's rushing! Russian! "I love Russian..."
Agent Cooper: "I love Russian" what, Mr. Kushner? What do you love that's Russian?!
Agent Slick: He's dressing.
Agent Cooper: He's saying "I love Russian Dressing!!!" That means .… oh, crap. That means nothing.
Agent Slick: I wonder how he feels about vinaigrette.
Agent Cooper: Kushner, if you don't talk, I'm going to tell your Mommy and Daddy!
Kushner: No, Puh-leese! Don't do that!
Agent Cooper: You spoke, Mr. Kushner, you spoke!!!
Kushner: Yes, I did.
Agent Slick: Why haven't you ever talked before?
Kushner: Ivanka told me not to.