Say Hello to My Co-Stars
I just can't make up my mind whether or not to do a Sex Tape.
I've thought about it and thought about it, but I just haven't been able to decide. Both Tina and Jocelyn have been bugging me about it for weeks now, but I'm still not sure.
True, the sex among the three of us is nothing less than epic, and I guess it might be cool to demonstrate how a man my age can fully satisfy two smokin' hot twenty somethings. But are there really that many people around who would want to sit down and watch a full length video depicting an incessant swirl of sensual young female bodies writhing and convulsing in paroxysms of joy while having every conceivable part of themselves pleasured?
So I asked my Uncle Ned and Aunt Phyllis for some advice; they've never steered me wrong. Uncle Ned helped me pick out my first two wheeler and even built my car for the Pinewood Derby, and Auntie was always there for me when I was being bullied in Junior High School.
Well, Uncle Ned was less than enamored of the idea of the sex tape because he felt if I later turned pro a relatively primitive sex video could be damaging to my career. Aunt Phyllis, however, was very enthusiastic about the concept and couldn't wait to tell all her friends at the Rose and Hydrangea Society. She's Past President of the local chapter, you know.
My co-workers were rather evenly split between those who thought the tape might prove a valuable sexual technique training tool and those who felt making it would require time and effort better spent on other activities. My boss pointed out that if I were looking to broaden my interests or make new friends it would be more productive to take night school classes or do some volunteer work rather than to have repeated steaming hot sex with two bosomy young women.
Food for thought.
Yesterday I asked my rabbi if she believed the sex tape would be good for the Jews. She said that no doubt it would, but she also asked if the two girls were Jewish, and I had to tell her that Tina was a Unitarian. After some reflection the Rabbi said that if Tina would commit to some measure of Jewish education, she would yet wholeheartedly endorse the video. I'm sure that will be no problem.
Ha, if I know Rabbi Debbie, Tina will be a real Yeshiva Bocher even before our next three-way!
But I'm still not certain. Call me old-fashioned, but for me a proper sex tape ought to feature at least one "C" List celebrity, orgasms in multiple languages, and no shortage of threshing equipment. We are deficient in two out of the three essential categories.
Do you guys have any thoughts on this? Would you want to watch two gorgeous girls with huge breasts in the throes of heated sexual passion for hours on end, or would you rather go to the Mall? What if we recruit David Hasselhoff to join us?
Or do you think he's less than a "C- Lister" anymore?
Help me, folks!