Say Hello to My Co-Stars
I just can't make up my mind
whether or not to do a Sex Tape.
I've
thought about it and thought about it, but I just haven't been able to decide. Both Tina and Jocelyn have been bugging me about it for
weeks now, but I'm still not sure.
True, the sex among the three of us is nothing less than epic, and I guess it
might be cool to demonstrate how a man my age can
fully satisfy two smokin' hot twenty somethings. But are there really that
many people around who would want to sit down and watch a full length video
depicting an incessant swirl of sensual young female bodies writhing and convulsing in
paroxysms of joy while having every conceivable part of themselves pleasured?
By me.
I dunno.
So I asked
my Uncle Ned and Aunt Phyllis for some advice; they've never steered me wrong.
Uncle Ned helped me pick out my first two wheeler and even built my car
for the Pinewood Derby, and Auntie was always there for me when I was being
bullied in Junior High School.
Well, Uncle
Ned was less than enamored of the idea of the sex tape because he felt if I
later turned pro a relatively primitive sex video could be damaging to my
career. Aunt Phyllis, however, was very enthusiastic about the concept
and couldn't wait to tell all her friends at the Rose and Hydrangea Society. She's Past President of the local chapter, you know.
My co-workers were rather evenly split between those who thought the tape might prove a valuable sexual technique training tool and those who felt making
it would require time and effort better spent on other activities. My
boss pointed out that if I were looking to broaden my interests or make new friends
it would be more productive to take night school classes or do some volunteer work rather than to have repeated steaming hot sex with two bosomy young women.
Food for thought.
Yesterday I asked my rabbi if she believed the sex tape would be good for
the Jews. She said that no doubt it would, but she also asked if the two girls were Jewish, and I had to
tell her that Tina was a Unitarian. After some reflection the Rabbi said
that if Tina would commit to some measure of Jewish education, she
would yet wholeheartedly endorse the video. I'm sure that will
be no problem.
Ha, if I know Rabbi Debbie, Tina
will be a real Yeshiva Bocher even before our next three-way!
But I'm still not certain. Call me old-fashioned, but for me a proper sex
tape ought to feature at least one "C" List celebrity, orgasms in
multiple languages, and no shortage of threshing equipment. We are
deficient in two out of the three essential categories.
Do you guys have any thoughts on this? Would you want to watch two
gorgeous girls with huge breasts in the throes of heated sexual passion for
hours on end, or would you rather go to the Mall? What if we recruit David
Hasselhoff to join us?
Or do you think he's less than a "C- Lister"
anymore?
Help me, folks!
Decisions, Decisions.
