But despite the
stranded motorists, cities brought to a standstill, and the 24/7 news
coverage, was this really the Storm
of the Century? Who
determines whether it was the Storm
of the Century or just the Storm of
the Fiscal Quarter? Is it a panel of highly qualified meteorologists
or just some over eager intern with a barometer and a love of hyperbole?
Clearly it was
premature to call anything falling from the sky here in year 2016 the Storm of the Century. We’ve got 84 years
to disprove the assertion! In a couple dozen years we might be having storms
that make this one look like little more than a malfunction in your frost free
freezer. Perhaps we’ll be having regular
Sharknados by then.
You won’t even
be able to sled in them!
I also
understand that people names are now bestowed upon snowstorms just like they are on hurricanes, and this
past storm was named Jonas. But does anyone go to the trouble to coordinate the
personal name of a snowstorm with its title? Otherwise we may
well wind up with a Storm of the Century
named Floyd or a poopy little snow squall called Angelique.
“OMG, look! Here comes the Storm of the …. oh, it’s just
Herbert. Chill, everyone.”
Before some
misbegotten and misguided meteorological panel bungles the title of the next
highly touted storm, here’s a few better suggestions for the one just past:
·
The Storm of the Century Thus Far
·
The Storm of January 1, 2000 to January 23, 2016 and
Counting
·
The Storm That Was What It Was
·
Jonas’ Big Adventure
Well, it’s time to go shovel now. Look at those
mounds of snow every bit as massive as Chris Christie’s old body! And it’s so cold out here, almost as frigid as Martha Stewart caught off guard.
I can’t even see my car, it’s totally buried. By the time
I dig it out it will be time to trade it in. Oh, my back! My front! My in–between!
I have to take a
break. It’s too tough out there.
Why, this has
got to be the Storm of the Century!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 comments:
They use that terminology a lot, don't they? (...of the Century) I hope you got your snow shoveled, found your car, and lived to write another blog post.
Weather is always hyped up these days I'm obviously kidding that you can't call something the Storm of the Century until the century is over, but I hope it makes the point. As for living to write another post, we'll see.
They'll have to wait until summer to name a storm after you. In fact, it won't be a storm at all, just a couple puffs of hot air followed by the odor of flatulence on the breeze.
I can just hear Grandpa telling the kids, "I remember when Perry came through in 2016. It paralyzed three states, two synagogues, and shut down Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream factory."
Super line, Russell! Don't forget that Perry didn't live up to expectations because ... well ... Perry didn't live up to expectations.
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