Put On Your Hat And Coat, And Hat And Coat (FF)

FF - Flash Fiction

copyright - Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

"Look at the frost on the window, Micah!  How cold out it must be!"

"Yeah, it's like that this time of year, Z.  Makes you hate to go outside."

"Well, we gotta go, Micah. Put on your hat and coat.  And hat and coat.  And hat and coat."

"You too, Z.  Boy that's a thick coat; where'd you get it?" 

"Made it from the wool of half a dozen very hirsute sheep."

“Oh my god, it's freezing out here!  It must be minus 80 degrees!”

 “Sure wish we lived on a planet that only had four seasons, Micah. Like Earth.” 

“Right, Zontar!  Winter's bad enough; schlossertime's a killer!

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Yep, next time you think it's too darn cold in winter, just be thankful we don't have schlossertime on Earth. It's so cold then that the holiday that falls during schlossertime features a visit from Old Father Anti Freeze. 

The other Friday Fictioneers' takes on the picture prompt above are available right here. And available for you winter, spring, summer, and schlosser!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to put on my hat and coat.  And hat and coat.  And hat and coat.  

The Storm That Was What It Was

 After a full day and a half of experiencing Nature’s wintry frenzy, what some people had been touting as the Storm of the Century is now ended.  Much of the East Coast is covered in thick billowing blankets of snow, and as I look out my window I’m seeing almost as much white as when I looked over the recently announced Academy Award nominations.

But despite the stranded motorists, cities brought to a standstill, and the 24/7 news coverage, was this really the Storm of the Century?  Who determines whether it was the Storm of the Century or just the Storm of the Fiscal Quarter?  Is it a panel of highly qualified meteorologists or just some over eager intern with a barometer and a love of hyperbole?

Clearly it was premature to call anything falling from the sky here in year 2016 the Storm of the Century. We’ve got 84 years to disprove the assertion! In a couple dozen years we might be having storms that make this one look like little more than a malfunction in your frost free freezer.  Perhaps we’ll be having regular Sharknados by then.

You won’t even be able to sled in them!

I also understand that people names are now bestowed upon snowstorms just like they are on hurricanes, and this past storm was named Jonas. But does anyone go to the trouble to coordinate the personal name of a snowstorm with its title? Otherwise we may well wind up with a Storm of the Century named Floyd or a poopy little snow squall called Angelique.

“OMG, look!  Here comes the Storm of the …. oh, it’s just Herbert. Chill, everyone.”

Before some misbegotten and misguided meteorological panel bungles the title of the next highly touted storm, here’s a few better suggestions for the one just past:

·        The Storm of the Century Thus Far

·        The Storm of January 1, 2000 to January 23, 2016 and Counting

·        The Storm That Was What It Was

·        Jonas’ Big Adventure

Well, it’s time to go shovel now.  Look at those mounds of snow every bit as massive as Chris Christie’s old body! And it’s so cold out here, almost as frigid as Martha Stewart caught off guard.  

I can’t even see my car, it’s totally buried. By the time I dig it out it will be time to trade it in. Oh, my back!  My front!  My in–between!

I have to take a break. It’s too tough out there.

Why, this has got to be the Storm of the Century!

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