From time to time somebody online will notify me that he or she is having difficulty posting comments on my Blogger blog, Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute. And I believe this is indeed true because other than my posts for the Friday Fictioneers, I generally get about as many comments on my blog as there are stars in the sky.
In the middle of the afternoon.
In Kuala Lumpur.
In monsoon season.
You perhaps have experienced this strange situation yourself. You've tried but been unable to drop me a thank you for brightening your boring tedious day in the middle of your otherwise insubstantial and ultimately meaningless yet all-to-brief sojourn on this two-bit half-baked planet.
Well, you're welcome anyway.
Or you've wondered how there could be so few comments on my hilarious posts. You've pondered: how could Perry Block's non-stop wit and incredible comedic skills not result in multiple congratulatory plaudits and kudos on every post?!!
One possibility could be that Blogger has an endemic problem conveying comments heavily laden with glowing superlatives. It may be that whenever a commenter clicks Send immediately after typing the words "comedy genius," "side-splittingly," and/or "I'm an attractive female dying to have sex with you, Perry Block," a glitch in the software causes it to freeze up faster than Windows XP when you had a stringent deadline your job depended upon in 2003.
This could well explain why I have never gotten a single message that includes any of the above terminology but frequently receive comments calling me an "idiot" and a "douchebag." Apparently "idiot," "douchebag," and "unfunny loser" are not words that trigger the apparent freeze.
So, may I solicit your assistance in getting to the bottom of this Blogger blogging problem? After all, I've never asked you for anything before (void with whom inapplicable). So here's what I'd like you to do:
Try to leave a comment on this post. Please enter the special code that Blogger has provided based on the degree of difficulty you have in leaving your comment. By tabulating the results, Blogger can determine the specific systemic problem in placing comments and make the necessary adjustments.
1) If you experience no difficulty whatsoever in placing your comment, please type in the code: PHENOMENAL POST! This means it was phenomenally easy to post your comment.
2) If you have some difficulty placing your comment but are still readily able to do it, please type: FUNNY POST! This is Blogger code for "it's funny, but I had some trouble getting this comment to post."
3) If you have great difficulty getting your post to send, please type in: STEAMING HOT POST! Which is Blogger code for "I got all steamed and hot under the collar trying to post my goddamn comment!"
Got that, folks? And since it may take Blogger some time to get to the root of the problem, please keep this up for the next six to eight weeks. Maybe more. Nothing moves fast these days, you know.
Google, which runs Blogger, will thank you.
And you'll be saving me a ton of money with Dr. Kropotkin!