Thursday, October 3, 2013

The Seagulls



It was just one of those days.  I was walking by the bay and there she was:   young, pretty, and absorbed in her sketch book, rendering the seagulls as they splashed and stretched near the shore.

"The seagulls are graceful whatever they do," I said, hoping for a response.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "they're positively enchanting!"'

"Enchanting,” I repeated, quite encouraged.

“I love them so much, and I’m so happy to meet you!”

Still got it, I thought!  

 "How long have you loved the seagulls?"

"Why, all my life!  They're my grandparents."

"Your grandparents?!"

"Yes, Herbert and Elsie Siegel. I just assumed you were one of Grampy's oldest and dearest friends."

Know what?  I hate seagulls. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, I hate seagulls so much I wrapped up this contribution to the Friday Fictioneers in a very respectable 117 words.  If I had gotten anywhere with Grampy's granddaughter, I'd probably have had me a book.

It's a good thing I didn't talk with her about the beauty of seagulls in flight because she'd probably have thought I was talking about  Herbert and Elsie's frequent trips to their condo in Boca.  Anyway, for more cogent and less depressing takes on the Siegels --- I mean, on the seagulls ---  click here and take wing with the other fictioneers!

Well, I'm off to dinner with the Siegels.  Who knows?  Maybe Elsie has a younger sister.

31 comments:

Sandra Crook said...

:) Perfect put-down. Well done.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

Any relation to George Siegel? She did have the ultimate shutdown to this pickup line. I needed a good laugh this morning. Thanks for providing it.

Shalom,

Rochelle

PS If you didn't tell on yourself I'd never know you went over the word count.

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Perry,

You got me right in the eye with that one. Good job. Still laughing here and glad I don't have a hook for a hand.

Aloha,

Doug

nightlake said...

Poor narrator. Good one:)

janet said...

My thought exactly, Sandra.

janet

lingeringvisions said...

Next time you see a pretty young thing like that, talk about your business ventures. She'll see you in a different light. ;)

kindredspirit23 said...

You are just enough like me to scare me...a little.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/5427/

Russell said...

I hate it when young girls do that. Don't they even consider our fragile egos? She might as well yank your heart out of your chest and stomp on it. Nicely written, Perry.

theeclecticeccentricshopaholic said...

haha glad to read this in the morning. i needed to laugh :)

Perry Block said...

Thank you. I really nailed the pretentious jerk, didn't I? Wait a minute ...

Perry Block said...

I didn't tell on myself. It was that damn Grampy Siegel!

Thanks, Rochelle.

Perry Block said...

It wasn't your eye I was aiming for. But glad you enjoyed, Doug!

Perry Block said...

Thank you for your empathy because as you remember, the poor narrator is ME!

Perry Block said...

If I were to do that, even a letter of recommendation from Grampy wouldn't save me!

Perry Block said...

If you are anything like me, Scott, you should be scared a lot!

Perry Block said...

Fragile ego? My ego is so fragile it's packed in bubble wrap at the factory. Which most people seem to love popping! Thanks, Russell.

Perry Block said...

Glad you're laughing while my social life is hemorrhaging! Thanks, KZ.

zookyworld said...

Oh! What a response! But, you know, if she thinks gulls are enchanting, then she might not be the best for a dinner date. Maybe it would be a better time to sip scotch with the Siegels and flirt with Elsie's younger sister. Funny story, Perry!

lindavernon said...

LOL!!

bwfiction said...

that was great!

Linda Palund said...

That was clever as hell, Perry. And you began it so loftily - with the description of the girl absorbed in your sketch book, you had me fooled there for a minute, such lovely description, but just the right minute so you could slap me with that terrible put-down - friends of the Siegals! I love seagulls, but I'm not too happy with the Siegals.

Perry Block said...

That's Award Winning Self-Deprecation for you, Linda. I hope Ray Manzarek would be proud!

Perry Block said...

Great? I suppose you'll enjoy when young girls start connecting the dots on my liver spots?!

Perry Block said...

Yeah, just like a cute young blonde girl like you to type "LOL!!"

Perry Block said...

Then again, rejection by Elsie's 82 year old sister isn't about to do wonders for my ego either!

thebumblefiles said...

The Siegels live next door to me. Seriously! Ha ha. I don't like seagulls. They stole my graham crackers, Perry! I'll never forget that!

Perry Block said...

Yes, it must have been the seagulls who stole your graham crackers because the Siegels can't chew them. If you ever find Cream O' Wheat missing ...

hersantosha said...

This was excellent! I always thought Grampy and his friends had invincible egoes. Don't worry. I'll be extra sweet to them from now on.

Perry Block said...

Extra sweet to Grampy? He's got the condo in Boca! I'm the one sitting here amongst the seagull poopings...

Sandra Conner said...

Perry, this is absolutely priceless! Well worded, perfectly paced, vibrant. Loved it. And as I read it, I was reminded of your header: "Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute." Well, I have to say that I think you're still cute.

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Sandra. And I have to say I think you are still nearsighted.