Look pleasing to you?
You're suffering from Fallophilia!
Every year similar reports have been known to surface, but public health authorities agree that such mindbendingly ludicrous and idiotic statements are increasing. "It's all indicative of a bizarre illness that we call Fallophila," says medical researcher Dr. Henry Mergen, "and we are at a loss to cure it or even explain it!"
While normal in appearance, those afflicted with Fallophilia may wax poetic about the beauty and charm of small New England villages, extol supposed virtues and wonder in fallen leaves and crisp clear evenings, or sigh contentedly while reading poetry by Robert Frost. All of which begs the question:
Don't these crazy ass people know what's coming next?!!
What should you do if you encounter a Fallophiliac?
"Simply humor them," advises Dr. Mergen. "Let 'em traipse into the woods in their down jackets with no sleeves, grab armfuls of dead leaves and fling them playfully at each other, bob for pumpkins, or do whatever other insane nonsense Fallophiliacs are wont to do. The poor devils are sick."
"Just don't --- I repeat don't --- under any circumstances consider marrying one!"