Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Better Than He Imagined

This one is almost too easy ...

The date had gone far better than Perry had ever imagined it would.

"Hurry, help me out of this dress!"  Angela cried as they returned to her apartment.

Perry's nervous fingers trembled as he unzipped the back of her dress and fairly well ripped the garment from her body.

"Do it now! Please! Now!" she shouted.

Perry began rubbing and stroking,  ever striving toward full and total satisfaction.   

More!  More!!  Harder!!!  Harder!!!!!

Finally, he was spent. 

"Didja get the ketchup stain out?" called Angela from the next room.

"Yeah, kinda," Perry replied.  "Maybe you ought hang this thing outside now to dry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

My first X-rated post for the Friday Fictioneers!  That is, X-rated as in X marks the spot where the ketchup stain used to be.

Wherever the stain was, the picture prompt is up above and the story's below, and this week I came in (poor word choice!) at a respectable 102 words, two above the prescribed limit. If you're ready to slip into something more comfortable for the other Friday Fictioneers, well, X marks the spot to find them here.

"More!  OMG!  Please More!"   Yep, more Flash Fiction next week.

58 comments:

Renee Schuls-Jacobson said...

Oh Perry! You tease!

Perry Block said...

I had to do something to get you to come over!

janet said...

Haha! Good one, Perry.

Perry Block said...

The only problem is, it's a huge let-down for me too!

Cee Martinez said...

;) ... stains are indeed naughty business tho!

Perry Block said...

Talk about naughty business! You should be ashamed of yourself writing so graphically about Ms. Galore and Mr. Robin!

lindavernon said...

Perry, you really assaulted my senses with the peppering of spice in your story. Phew! I had take off my coat! Plus you made me laugh a lot! A word of unsolicited advice. Don't ever go into professional dry cleaning!

Is your banner new? I LOVE it!!












Perry Block said...

Given my talents in the story, a dry cleaning business may be the only way I'm likely to meet women.

Had the banner a short time, though I don't understand where the artist got the idea I'm a hapless, harried, insecure guy. What an imagination he must have!

Marian Allen said...

Where do you live? 'Cause it's Thursday, where I am.

Loved the story, Mr. B. You crack-a me up!

Marian Allen
Fantasies, mysteries, comedies, recipes

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Chico Marx! I was so excited I jumped the gun.

Janene said...

Ha ha! You had me going there. Absolutely loved it!

Perry Block said...

Had you going? I thought I had Angela going!

Trudy said...

Oh dear, oh dear, there's a semi- clothed Angela in the next room and you're playing with her dress? For shame Perry! Step up for the dry cleaning bill and pop next door!

Perry Block said...

I'd love to pop next door but I think I'd get popped! The date didn't go that well ...

John Nixon The Supercargo said...

I laughed :)

Perry Block said...

Thanks! Frankly, I cried ...

pixilatedtoo said...

Oh dear. '-)
Good one, Perry!

mezzojan said...

Don't worry, there are lots of women who are turned on by a man who actually cleans stuff!

paulmclem said...

Made me chuckle. Award yourself a virtual "like".

wmqcolby said...

In all honesty, I could see it coming from a mile away, but ... it was funny as hell!

Sandra Crook said...

I didn't see it coming... but I don't get out much. And certainly not to any place where ketchup is available. :) Nice one, made me grin.

Renee Heath said...

Darn it I was hoping it was erotica. Good story though. Giggle.

highfiveandraspberries said...

OMG..how gallant..silly man. I am going to go take a cold shower now.

jhardyb said...

Oh Perry, you old trickster!!! Got me good with that one! I can always count on a good laugh when I come your way. And for that I salute you!

tedstrutz said...

What desperation... to use your own name in a story... All I could think of as I read, was that why couldn't it be Angelique instead of Angela.

Good one!

Libby said...

Funny and unexpected as always Perry! Nice to see you have another outlet where others can read your stuff!

Perry Block said...

Thanks, but it could have been a lot better!

Perry Block said...

Yes, but all they ever want to do is watch me scour.

Perry Block said...

But I wanted virtual LOVE!

Perry Block said...

In all honesty, you must have realized I could never get that lucky and you were right!

Perry Block said...

Ketchup is the ultimate aphrodisiac! Or is that catsup?

Perry Block said...

Erotica by me the planet doesn't need.

Perry Block said...

I was hoping to do some saluting myself, if you catch my drift!

Perry Block said...

Nobody would ever believe I could get me an Angelique!

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Libby, always great to see you wherever I am!

Perry Block said...

Wait, I'll get in with you!

Elizabeth Lee said...

Well done!

Perry Block said...

Oh, I'm done all right! Thanks, Elizabeth.

lingeringvisions said...

I live for innuendo!

BetaRules said...

Sweet. (RogRites)

thewritersvillage said...

You got to stop spilling ketchup on your dates and convincing them to come to your apartment so you can wash them out. It's getting old, and besides it's not working - except that us neighbors get to see all these different clothes hanging from your fire escape and know that you're at it again.

Fun piece so to speak. Randy

Perry Block said...

Now at long last you've got a reason to live!

Perry Block said...

Sweet back at ya!

Perry Block said...

It sure isn't working. Once I get the stain out, I'm out too! But it's nice my neighbors are enjoying the fashion show outside my apartment ... Thanks for so speaking, Randy.

thebumblefiles said...

Perry, I should have expected as much from you with this pretty little dress! Very funny. I worked with the idea of stain as well, but not nearly as colorful as yours. - Amy

Björn said...

Perry, anyone that can get out the damn spot will make his way to a lady's heart (did you say ketchup ?)

Perry Block said...

I'm so happy everyone's enjoying the fact that only way I can get a woman to take off her clothes is squirt them with Ketchup! Thanks, Amy!

Perry Block said...

I seem only to be able to make my way to to the lady's stomach, as in nausea. Oh, well, at least I got most of the stain out!

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Perrotica indeed! Yep. Saw it coming and didn't think to duck. You made me laugh.

shalom,

Rochelle

Perry Block said...

Oh, you gotta duck or you get squirted with ketchup! And my cleaning days are over ...

Penny Howe said...

Ah...hhh Perry, the classic story of looking for ketchup in all the wrong places! :)

Perry Block said...

And all I ever find is love, damn it! Thanks for writing, Penny.

theeclecticeccentricshopaholic said...

LOL brilliant ^^

Perry Block said...

You're not so bad yourself!

Dobson said...

Perry you sure amped up the excitement just leave us wanting for more!

Russell said...

Too bad you weren't there to teach Monica Lewinsky your stain removal techniques. Of course, that would have meant SHE would have to come over to YOUR apartment and remove her dress. While she's there, she could tour the Presidential Library.

Perry Block said...

You think YOU'RE wanting for more?!!

Perry Block said...

Somehow I think she already got the complete tour. As for my Presidential Library, no one has ever signed up for it!