Friday, November 16, 2012

Bottle o' Batteries


I got very charged up when I saw the prompt for this week's Friday Fictioneers and thought I'd be positive rather than my usual negative about it.

Yeah, I hate that sentence too. 

But I'll push it further:  hope you get a charge out of the story below powered by the prompt above.  

If you don't, frankly I'll be shocked.

Bottle o' Batteries

Exiting the neighborhood hardware store with a large glass jar clasped under one arm, Ted ran into his friend Michael Farris in the parking lot.

"Hey, Ted," said Michael, "I see you bought the new Eveready Bottle o' Batteries too."

"Well, when you see how jammed full of all different types and sizes of batteries it is, how can you go wrong for a buck?" 

"Yeah, that's what I thought too," began Michael ....

"Problem is it's a crap shoot, you can't really tell what you're getting."

"Actually, Ted, it's worse than that."

"What?"

"The center of the jar doesn't contain any batteries at all!"

"Oh, gee, what is it, full of cardboard?"

"Nah.  Hundreds and hundreds of wrapped Godiva chocolates."

"Damn, ripped off again!" shouted Ted, dropping the jar to the parking surface below. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

37 comments:

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Rip me off. Oh please rip me off. Godiva chocolates? Poor Michael, his contacts must be corroded. Glad to see you're ever-ready with a story, Perry. You wrote a AAA-1 piece this week.
Shalom,
Rochelle

Perry Block said...

Well, I don't know about his contacts but mine have needed serious replacement since the 70's.

Thanks, Rochelle, you're doing an AAA job as the new Prompt Master!

janet said...

Like Doug, you got lots of battery reference in your intro. My question, though, is are they dark chocolates?? I guess I'll find out when I get home and opened the bottle he tossed. :-)

silentlyheardonce said...

I agree with Rochelle, rip me off. She is doing a great job.

Nice idea for the prompt.

Reading Pleasure said...

Oh my! And Ted actually dropped the jar on the parking surface. What a pity. Wonderful story.

Beth said...

Good one! I enjoyed it. I'm at http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com

Boomie Bol said...

Hahaha good one...

bridgesareforburning said...

Hi Perry,
A shockng story. As shocking as Lady Godiva naked. Always look forward to a good jolt of laughter from your story. Never a dud! Ron

thebumblefiles said...

That sounds like a bargain, Perry. Chocolates to go with? What could be better? That was a good laugh. Nice one!

Tom Poet said...

Chocolates.... Rip me off anytime! Nice job.

Perry Block said...

Yes, the darkest most delicious chocolates to be found anywhere.

But I'm afraid you won't find out when you get home because I already ate them off the parking lot surface!

Perry Block said...

Thank you!

She is a tough but fair Prompt Master. I haven't been officially censured yet for going over the 100 word limit, but I'm expecting to hear from her Counsel General any day now...

Perry Block said...

Well, when ya want batteries, ya want batteries!

Thank you.

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Beth! Enjoyed yours as well.

Perry Block said...

Thanks for the LOL, Boomie!

If I find any additional chocolates lying around, maybe I'll call you.

Perry Block said...

Lady Godiva Naked!

I'm grabbing for my heart! Oh, wait. That's been done already.

Perry Block said...

Well, one man's bargain is another man's rip-off. Or something like that.

Thanks, Amy.

Perry Block said...

Nah, I'll just shoot 'em at you with my slingshot.

Sandra Crook said...

Chocolates and batteries? Hmmm... okay, force me. I'll have to take the batteries. ;)

Lora said...

I was going to run to that parking lot and grab the Godiva chocolates but had second thoughts realizing my mouth may be full of glass and shards. Nice work.

Shirley said...

Well, Godiva chocolate isn't my favorite, but it IS chocolate. I'd say it was a good deal.

Brudberg said...

What a great deal.

Russell said...

Hijinx at the hometown hardware. My jar contained Waldo, of "Where's Waldo?" fame, the copper-top version of course. I was so angry, I could bite his head off, but that alkaline taste is hard to get rid of.

brainsnorts said...

seems worth a buck for sure.

worksbyclaire said...

Hah! I loved how you stopped just before the inevitable smash of glass - no need to write it, we all saw and heard it clear enough.
I'm at number 50.

billgncs said...

an eclectic, I mean electric take. Good one. I like Hershey's anyway!

babaamor said...

Hehehehehe!
Reminds me of a time a street boy sold someone I know a flash disk for about 20% of the going price at the time.

Perry Block said...

No, you don't, I want the batteries.

You'll have to take each and every one of the chocolates, no argument!

Perry Block said...

Don't worry. Remember they were each individually wrapped to withstand guys dropping the bottle in disgust.

Eat up!

Perry Block said...

What is your favorite? I'll work it into the next story just for you ...

Perry Block said...

No, it's a lousy deal. You don't get anywhere near all the batteries promised.

I smell class action suit!

Perry Block said...

That's where he is after all these years!

I never thought to look for him there. Yes, by all means, bite his head off, he's been annoying us all for far too long!

Perry Block said...

Well, maybe on a day you've got a few extra bucks in your pocket ...

Perry Block said...

Thank you.

Yes, I've been mature enough to avoid gratuitous violence in my writing ever since I was 57.

Perry Block said...

Well, for you then, it's made of Hershey's.

In keeping with the holiday season, it's a magical bottle o' batteries!

Perry Block said...

I think there were a couple of flash drives in the bottle as well.

Thank you!

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Perry,

The battery jokes just keep going and going and....

Great story and more than up to your usual amperage.

Aloha,

Doug