It's been about a year since I decided to ressurrect my long dormant blog and I'd like to reflect upon the exciting adventures I've had in that regard over the past year.
There are none.
But I did want to stop and take stock of some personal writerly things over the year, which means this post is solely for my benefit and I'd bale on reading it if I were you.
Imagine me telling folks not to read my stuff! That's something that's hardly ever been necessary in the past.
The past year featured the return of some old friends:
The Legendary Jewish Vampire Vlad the Retailer. Thanks to AI we could finally depict him, as previously he just looked like warmed over Bela Lugosi. Now that we can see him: Funny, he doesn't look Jewish!
Rabbi Debbie King, the Progenitor of "Hello Yahweh," the newest branch of liberal Judaism based loosely on characters from Seinfeld. Eat Your Heart Out, Orthodox Judaism!
Professor Kropotkin and his Protege Maya Majoun, among whose many scientific achievements are the discovery of the fabled Book of Norman and the factoid that snowflakes may possess evil twins.
Don't ask.
My Muse. Yes he sleeps late, eats and drinks me out of house and home, and supplies me with lousy ideas like what if we have Ginger and MaryAnn mud wrestle. But I can't fire him because he's union.
Cupid, who's resigned as a Greek God becaiuse he could no longer handle the incessant lawsuits from disgruntled lovers for whom his arrows just plain screwed everything up and who approaches me about writing his memoirs. Why me? Because I'm cheap and he's flat broke.
Batman. Yep, that Batman. I know him, not to brag. But I can't for the life of me figure out his secret identity.
So don't ask about that either.
And of course, for a time, I controlled the media.
Add to that a few newer friends like:
Julie, My Favorite Barista, who will be leaving me and my favorite coffee shop behind to become a lawyer but not before I teach her never to wish me or anybody else to "Have a Great Day" because nobody ever has a great day!
Bob My Bathroom Mirror, who does his best to bolster my confidence about my looks. In other words. he lies his ass off, if only he had an ass.
Michael the Trump-Loving Stump. If only God can make a tree, we better kick God off tree-creating duty and take it over ourselves. (We can't do worse, to coin a phrase of mine.)
Hey, I've missed them all and I'm glad they're back. Or here for the first time.
But the oddest thing is the person I've really missed the most is the fictionalized me. He's a hot mess for sure, but the real me is an even hotter mess and a lot less interesting.
Hell, I'm kinda looking forward to growing old with him. That is, growing older with him who is me anyway so we're growing older together.
And maybe one of these days one of us actually will have a great day.
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