I was walking in my usually boring neighborhood of Havertown PA with my son's dog Bruno a week or so back when I came upon what looked like a wise old soul living at the base of a tree.
Do you see him too? He has a very broad mouth with a half-smile, his right eye bigger than the left and perhaps covered with an eye patch, and two outstretched arms almost entreating you to stop by and visit.
C'mon, dudes! Where's your suspension of disbelief?
"Hello, kind sir,"I offered to the man in the tree. "Care for a visit from a friend? I'm Perry."
"Of course I would," the man in the tree replied in a crusty but aimable voice that bespoke volumes. "My name is Michael."
"Michael," I said, delighted that he did indeed speak as I'd hoped he would. "I bet you've seen a great deal over the years and you know much that you can impart to me and others."
"That's true, Perry. And I am indeed pleased to share with you the most important thing I've learned over hundreds of years of observation and study."
"Tell me, tell me!" I exclaimed exciteedly. "I want to learn from your wisdom. What ... what can you teach me?"
"The most important thing to know about life, Perry," Michael slowly intoned "is ..."
"Yes, yes, yes, Michael???"
"That Donald Trump is the greatest president in the history of our nation!"
"Excuse me?
"Every nation needs a brave, noble, and wise leader. And we are blessed to have that leader, Donald J. Trump - a genius - a brilliant man motivated only by his love of country and humanity."
"Are you sure this is the most important thing you have to tell us?"
"Absolutely."
"Well, thanks ... umm ... gotta go. Bruno has an ... uh ... appointment with his parole officer."
"And that blondie Karoline Leavitt is quite a fox too!"
"I guess you would like someone who's wooden," I thought.
"Bruno," I whispered, "before we go, if you could ... pee on him?"
"Oooh, wet!" exclaimed Michael.
"Bye, Michael," I said. "Don't get up."
I walked several blocks and came upon a group of people who were pruning trees in the area with a nearby truck labeled "Matthew Domer, Arborist."
I went up to one of them and said "Excuse me, but a few blocks away on Hawthorne Street is an old tree with a trunk that reesembles a wisened elfin old man."
"Yes?"
"Woodman, don't spare that tree!''
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