"Have A Great Day" And Other Farewells I Can Do Without

 

No, it isn't, you two!

As you know,  many people in the course of a day insist on bidding us farewell with these words:

                                    Have a Great Day!

Have a Great Day?  Really?

Don’t they realize they’re only setting us up for failure?

"Have a Great Day!" said Julie, the young woman barista in Starbucks, as she handed me my cappuccino.

 "I know you don't mean any harm," I said to her, "but Never Say That Again!"

"Why?"

"I’ve been around for 74 years and I doubt I’ve ever had a Great Day. I’ve had a few good days, but never a Great Day.

"What about the day you got married?"

"Try another example, Julie."

'Okay, let's say you met your favorite film star."

"I'd soon find out that they put their pants on one leg at a time and often jam both legs into the same pants leg at the same time."

"All right, you meet your dream woman?"

"Becomes a nightmare when she turns out to be a Trumper." 

"What if you win the lottery."

"It still wouldn’t be a Great Day." 

"How come?"

"After a stately pleasure dome I would decree I would realize that all I really ever wanted was my childhood sled named Rosebud and that my entire life has already been depicted in a movie and the movie was a hell of a lot better than whatever the hell it is that I'm living!"

"All right, I see what you mean. But what do you think I should say?"

"What you should say, Julie, is: 

Have a Day That Doesn't Suck!

 Because that is actually achievable."

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BTW, everyone, here's a few other long and short goodbyes I could do without: 

• Catch you later.  

       Promise me you won't drop me?

• Take care.  

Really? I should take care? Not break in a circus trapeze act without a net?

• Peace.  

        Aw c'mon, it isn't 1972 and The Mod Squad has been off the air for 50 years!

• Hasta la vista, Baby.

         Channeling Arnold Schwarzenegger?  DON'T!

•  I'll be back

         Same deal.

• Bye Felicia.

        "Bye-Bye" to anyone who says "Bye Felicia."  

• I must be going.

       Only appropriate if you're Groucho Marx.  

• Good night and Good Luck

       Only appropriate if you're Edward R. Murrow.

• Gotta bounce.

       Only appropriate if you're a check written by Donald Trump

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Thank you for this little talk," the Julie the barista said. "Now I know what to always say."

"Good.  But this one day I wish you would say to me:

Have a Great Day!" 

"But why?"

''Maybe ... just maybe, Julie ... today it will finally happen."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Like, Peace." 

From her, I can dig it!