Monday, July 10, 2017

Youth is Wasted on the Product Logos

Before                    After

We live in a very youth-obsessed society these days, which isn't such a terrific thing when you are obsessed with youth and don't happen to have it anymore.   Ask any Baby Boomer.

This accent on youth doesn't just pertain to human beings, it even extends to product logos. Several years ago the familiar Quaker Oats guy whose image adorns boxes and containers of Quaker Oats got himself a makeover. With the stroke of an advertising agency's pen and follow-up brush strokes, he was made younger, thinner, and cuter than ever before.

Apparently in this day and age in order to eat oatmeal it's important to first want to have sex with the guy on the oatmeal package, even if he's a seventeenth century Quaker.

In keeping with the same trend, Uncle Ben's has announced that its new packaging will feature a much younger version of its traditional avuncular progenitor, now called Dude Ben, who's 22.  In place of the bow tie he's been wearing since 1946, Dude Ben will now sport manly chest hair and a pouty face.

Feel like a nice bowl of rice? Get it while he's hot! I mean, it's hot.

More such changes are coming: Tony the Tiger is soon to become Tony the Cub, the Gerber Baby will have a year or so in age shaved off to become the Gerber Fetus, and the biggest change of all is reserved for the Pillsbury Doughboy Poppin' Fresh, who is about to morph into Poppin' Lump o' Dough.

Nowadays I'm not only jealous of young people, I'm jealous of product packaging! Why does it get to be young again while I'm turning into a box of raisins?  I can't even go into the supermarket anymore without wishing I were the logo on a box of raisins.

Even to sell raisins, it would have to look better than me.

What a shame!

Youth is wasted on the product logos.


I'm out, folks!                    Hi, I'm  Poppin' Lump o' Dough!


Tracey Delaplain said...

I think they made the Quaker look less like an alcoholic. His flushed red face and fat cheeks were photoshopped. Think about us women of a certain age. The 70 year old actresses now have to look 30. I can't even stop being vain at 50ish. I'm gotta go now and photoshop myself. Ugh

Perry Block said...

You look great, nothing to worry about. I need to be made over like Poppin' Fresh! Or even younger. If only I could find a retired doctor who could do it on the cheap ....

Russell Gayer said...

Hey, I got first dibs on Poppin' Fresh. I always wondered who colorized this 1904 photo you use for an avatar.

Perry Block said...

Believe it or not, Russell, I got Leonardo Da Vinci to touch it up.