Monday, July 10, 2017

Youth is Wasted on the Product Logos

Before                    After

We live in a youth-obsessed society, which isn't such a terrific thing when you are obsessed with youth and don't happen to have it anymore.  

This accent on youth doesn't just pertain to human beings, it even extends to product logos. Several years ago the familiar Quaker Oats guy got himself a makeover. With the stroke of an advertising agency's pen, he was made younger, thinner, and cuter than ever before.

Apparently in  order to eat oatmeal these days it's important to first want to have sex with the guy on the oatmeal package, even if he's a seventeenth century Quaker.

I predict more such changes are coming.

Uncle Ben's will announce that its new packaging will feature a much younger version of its traditional avuncular progenitor. He will now be called Dude Ben.  In place of the bow tie he's been wearing since 1946, Dude Ben - who's 22 - will now sport a hipster tattoo and bunch of tattoos.

Feel like a nice bowl of rice? Get it while he's hot!

I mean, it's hot.

Tony the Tiger is soon to become Tony the Cub, the Gerber Baby will knock back a couple of years to become the Gerber Fetus, but the biggest change of all is planned for Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy.

He will morph into Poppin' Lump o' Dough.

Why do old logos get to be young again while I remain so old and wrinkly that the only logo I'd be suitable for belongs on a box of raisins?

It's just not fair!

Youth is wasted on the product logos.



Unknown said...

I think they made the Quaker look less like an alcoholic. His flushed red face and fat cheeks were photoshopped. Think about us women of a certain age. The 70 year old actresses now have to look 30. I can't even stop being vain at 50ish. I'm gotta go now and photoshop myself. Ugh

Perry Block said...

You look great, nothing to worry about. I need to be made over like Poppin' Fresh! Or even younger. If only I could find a retired doctor who could do it on the cheap ....

Russell Gayer said...

Hey, I got first dibs on Poppin' Fresh. I always wondered who colorized this 1904 photo you use for an avatar.

Perry Block said...

Believe it or not, Russell, I got Leonardo Da Vinci to touch it up.