Friday, July 28, 2017

The Last Milestone

I still can’t believe that Brandon Block graduated college this past spring.  Quite a milestone in the life of any young man.

That young man in this instance is me.

It’s a milestone for me because it’s probably the last milestone in Brandon's life that I'll be sharing directly with him. Future milestones like promotions, awards, or starring in the road company version of Hamilton will be more diffuse and remote because they won’t be happening under my watch, under my roof, or under the Tuscan sun.

About the only closely shared milestone ahead is the one that happens when I breathe my last.  And that’s one about which I’m not about to spring for a celebratory dinner.

I put in a call to Brandon.

“How are things going?  Have any major achievements lately?”

“Well … I graduated from college.  I think you were there.”

"I was! But maybe I should have participated more in the graduation ceremony."


"I could have given the commencement address."

"But Frank Bruni of the New York Times did that."

"Yeah, but he’s from the failing New York Times!  Say, have you made any feature films lately? Any Oscar buzz?  Maybe I ought to give out the award to you since John Travolta will probably butcher your name!”

"I'd hold up on renting a tuxedo. But I did make a five minute movie about puddles. Hasn't opened yet in selected cities."

“Brandon, I’ve been wondering.  Have you had any big promotions at work lately? They haven't given you the key to the executive washroom, have they?"

"Dad, that only happens in movies from the 40’s. And I’ve only been working at this job for a couple of weeks."

"How about political activism? Have you met Bernie Sanders perhaps? How about Sara Huckabee Sanders? Did  you straighten her out about the dopey jewelry?”

"Dad, what is this all about?" 

"I just don’t want to miss any milestones in your life, Brandon."

"Why would you?"  

“I’m worried that any future milestones you have may be diffuse and remote.”

“Diffuse and remote?”

“Since you won't be living at home or school any more. Who knows where you may wind up in the world? Could be Singapore.  Could be Cleveland!”

"Well, Dad, it's true things may be a bit different than when I lived home.  But I'll always keep you posted."

"You promise?"

"You’ll be the first to know!  Or no worse than 18th.”

“I guess that’s okay then."

"I have to go now, Dad, I've got a meeting."

"Sure. Who with?"

"The Rabbi.  I'm getting married."

"You're what?!!

"I mean, someday.  Nothing wrong with scoping it out now."  



Debra Snider said...

Love it! And fingers crossed that he doesn't wind up in Cleveland. :)

Perry Block said...

Well, Cleveland wouldn't be so bad as long he's opening in the road company version of Hamilton. And they DO have telephones there!

Russell Gayer said...

Perhaps he'll move to Arkansas and work at Walmart Corporate in Bentonville.

I'd say the next milestone would be for one of the boys to make you a grandfather. Maybe even hook you up with some old widow, preferably a wealthy one with a large buxom that doesn't sag down to her waist.

Remember, these are milestones, not gallstones.

Perry Block said...

Why, the unmitigated gall!

A large buxom? Odd way to refer to that, but sounds pretty good. Hook me up, Scotty!

Tracey Delaplain said...

One of my all time favorites but I'm a sentimental girl. Believe me, once they graduate you never get updates. If you were Catholic you could use guilt to make them call. Oh ya, you kinda have the guilt thing in your genes too. Great piece Perry.

Perry Block said...

Thanks so much, Tracey. Your support is always appreciated.