Years ago - maybe 30 or more - we were first introduced to word processed letters with our names included within them, and we were simply amazed. How was such incredible technology possible?
By today's standards, of course, these long ago letters were quite primitive. They looked something like this:
Dear BLOCK PERRY,
We are pleased to inform you that you are the winner of our Publisher's Dumpinghouse Sweepstakes and you have won a gift especially selected for folks like you! Yes, BLOCK, PERRY, all you need do is send in the enclosed Winner's Coupon addressed specifically to you, BLOCK, PERRY, with a nominal $80 fee and your gift will be on its way to HAVERTOWN PENNSYLVANIA! You are one lucky MAN
Today all of us receive a plethora of such letters in our email every day, and the technology now is perfect and seamless. And the information they seem to have acquired about us has greatly advanced as well.
We are pleased to inform you that you are the winner of our Publisher's Dumpinghouse Sweepstakes and you have won a gift especially selected for overage neurotics such as yourself.
Yes, Perry, all you need do is send in the attached Winner's Coupon addressed specifically to Mr. Perry Block with a nominal $80 fee and your gift will be on its way to Havertown Pennsylvania, although not to the nicer parts of Havertown but to the low rent area in which you live.
Frankly you are one lucky Jew, Perry, even though you are somewhat of a disgrace to your people as you haven't been in synagogue since the Destruction of the Second Temple!
Knowing what a lazy and shiftless loser you are, we urge you to forward the coupon with your payment today. What better do you have to do? Get yourself a woman?