Thursday, January 8, 2015

Let's Move Before They Raise The Parking Rate (FF)


© Copyright Jean L. Hays

"So, Jason, did you get a closer look at the parking sign?"

"Yeah, I did. Took me a minute or so to psych it out."

"Well, what did it say?"

"Behind the sign, there’s two hour parking from Monday through Friday 9:00 AM to 8:00 PM.  Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays, you can park four hours until 7:00 PM, then one hour until 8:00 AM."

"What about in front of the sign?"

"No parking Monday through Friday, 7:00 AM through 1:00PM, then 1/2 hour parking through 2:00 AM, with unlimited parking on Saturday and Sunday until 5:00 PM except on leap year, when it’s 15 minute parking 3:00 PM through 11:50 PM on Saturday and 11:55 PM Sunday."

"So should we park in front of the sign or behind the sign?"

"Neither."

"Neither?  Why?"

"Because, dude, we're on foot!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've never been known as a particularly good automobile parker.  In fact, I'm so bad at parking I refer to parallel parking as perpendicular parking. So I'd never relish having to decipher and act upon the sign featured in my Friday Fictioneers' offering this week as based on the picture prompt above.

However, you can park it yourself right here if you want to read this week's posts of the other Friday Fictioneers. I wouldn't steer you wrong.

Then again if I'm trying to park a car, I could be steering you anywhere!

47 comments:

  1. Dear Perry,

    I think if Jason and his friend park without a car it's called loitering. Just came out of my hamster ball to let you know I had fun reading this.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Rochelle. But I would never come out of my hamster ball except to get into a smaller hamster ball.

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  2. Yes, those parking signs are often as clear as mud.

    I actually pride myself on my parking. I couldn't used to parallel park to save my life. But after moving to an area where I had no choice but to park that way, I became quite adept at it, if I do say so myself. Of course, I'm not driving a huge SUV. Then it would be a different story...

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    1. After all these years, I'm still dept at it. I've been known to take so long parallel parking that the event I'm parking for is over before I've finished parking. Maybe I need to move to New York City (my older son lives there now) to learn how to park. Lessons for me, Dr. Rubin?

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    2. Yes. Buy a Smart car. That should make things easier...

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    3. I went to buy a smart car but the only one I could afford kept looking over the shoulder of the car next to it.

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  3. I was just about to say, "Forget it! I'll take the bus." Great dialogue.

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    1. Thanks, Alicia. If these guys took the bus, they'd probably try to park it.

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  4. Love it, love it. I have a soft spot for stupid (stoned?) dudes on foot. They are invariably entertaining. I never parallel park either, but I blame it on my big-ass truck and double-vision.

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    1. Yes, I did envision these guys as stoned, and maybe I'll try to make them recurring characters. My problem with parallel parking is poor spatial relations which frequently has the tires winding up not only up on the curb but on the curb across the street.

      And thanks for joining the blog, Kimberly. Your membership card and special decoder ring are in the mail.

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  5. But you have took take your feet out of your mouth before you can get anywhere.

    Great stuff. Unthinkingly, Randy

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    1. I would take them out, Randy, but then I'd have to smell them.

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    2. Ew. You're so right. Keep 'em in. ;-)

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  6. I'd just hang around until lovely Rita meter maid shows up. Maybe she could steer you straight, or the two of you could go parking.

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    1. RITA! Somehow I suspect when she shows up for me the best I'll get is a ticket and a tongue lashing. Which, now that I mention it ...

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  7. Funny. At least they're trying to do the right thing - I hope their carers find them soon before they get into some real trouble.

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    1. They are trying to do the rifght thing. I picture them standing in front of the sign for exactly four hours until they head for wherever they are going, unless they come down first.

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  8. I'm just the opposite... any self-respecting Bostonian can pahk a cah anywheh. Hold your jokes, Perry. ;-)

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    1. If I remember Boston, with its winding streets, they do park anywhere. Even in Hahvard Yahrd.

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  9. I don't like parking either, Perry. I'll walk twice as far if it means avoiding parallel parking. I also don't like backing in. I had to do this to pick up kids at school. I never did and just waited until all the cars were gone to leave. Funny story, Perry! I need a matrix to figure out the schedule in your story. :)

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    1. Amy, I agree. It can be very embarassing to be a lousy parallel parker when you're in a car full of people who are saying "take this spot; you can park a Mack Truck in here!" and I'm thinking I couldn't park Godzilla. Maybe you and I can take lessons together.

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  10. Perfect for this prompt! Stupid or not, I LIKED it! :)

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    1. "Stupid" is my middle name! Well, my middle initial is "S" anyway.

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    2. I tried to leave a comment on your site but my anti-virus software warned me not to. If you see this comment, you should look into that. But more importantly, I loved your story. Beautifully written, very human, and left an impact.

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  11. Look out for the curb! Oh, you're on foot. Never mind. Loved Jason's total recall of all those days and times. He's a keeper!

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    1. I think Jason must have a head for minutiae, such as that these guys weren't even in a car. Yes, Patti, please keep him until I need him for another story.

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  12. By the time the sign has been read, understood and digested I suspect they'd be done for what we call 'loitering with intent' in England. Nice one Perry, as always.

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    1. I don't think these two could be doing anything "with intent." I can see them going round and round the traffic circles in England however. Thanks, Sandra!

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  13. Dear Perry,

    It doesn't pay to drive in the city and this isn't a free country any longer. Unless you walk. Nice story, sir. Now, off to negotiate your Captcha, version 47.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    1. Thanks, Doug. I hope I don't have Captcha anymore, verson 47 or anything!

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  14. That was a lot of fun. We have that problem with parking signs (and speed signs also for that matter) and I was in the negotiating the difficulties with days, times and hours when your last line had me laughing out loud.

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    1. Thanks, Irene! I'm still trying to figure out that parking sign and I wrote the story.

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  15. So true, Perry, and then even if you're trying to park a car, rather than your brain, sometimes you have to figure out if you have the change needed to park said car for whatever amount of time you're allowed. Visiting Philly is always a "joy" because only the block on which our daughter lives has free parking 24 hours a day. All the rest nearby are 2 hours unless you have a permit. That's a bit tough on visitors. So far, I've always managed to find a free spot, where I park and then leave the car there until time to drive home!

    janet

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    1. I'm glad it works for you, Janet. With my lousy parallel parking I frequently have to go into a lot and wind up paying 20 bucks or more, even if there are spaces other people could get into. Where is that block? Maybe I'll try parking there.

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  16. Loved it. Too much sunshine, I guess. Parking regs can be such a nightmare. I live in a place with great public transport (buses - free, and trains - reasonably priced) so I avoid the problem most of the time.

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    1. Sounds like the place to live, Patrick, except maybe I'd miss the sunshine. Thanks!

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  17. Perry, this is so darn cute You are a hoot. Thanks for the laugh! Nan :)

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    1. Thanks, Nan. But I'd rather the story be a hoot and I be so darn cute!

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  18. Hilarious once again, Perry. :) I think parallel parking was one of the reasons I once got a "D" in driver training in high school. I went on to learn how to do it, but that class scared the daylights out of me. It was a country school and an easy "A" for farm kids who had been driving tractors. It didn't help that we learned by driving on ice in the winter in northeastern Ohio. :) --- Suzanne

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    1. Thanks, Suzanne. Hopefully you and I will never go out in a car together, because we may be circling around endlessly looking for a space big enough that either of us can park in.

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  19. I agree with you about parking signs: it always takes me a minute or so to decipher them. Nice story. :)

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    1. And of course many of them are so vague you can't interpret them. Just put your money in and hope for the best!

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  20. Parking in cities is impossible, darling. I resign myself to getting a parking ticket (which is often cheaper than paying for parking) and then if I don't get one, it's a plus.

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    1. I might have figured you'd have the answer, darling. In many cities, even Philly, parking can be more expensive than the ticket.

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  21. Ha.. yes that's the best way to not get ticketed... on foot is the best way... very funny.. (not so funny trying to park though)

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  22. haha, you touched a nerve here, Perry. I can easily spend hours staring at the parking signs trying to work out whether I can park and for how long. Why can't we just have say 3 options and all streets have one of those?
    Or, like your characters, I could stick to travelling on foot. But in -30c, that's not the most appealing alternative either. I think I should just admit I wasn't made for city living.

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