Thursday, May 15, 2014

Baa Baa Black Sheep


"Baa Baa Black Sheep
Have you any wool
Yes sir, yes sir
Three bags full.
One for my master
And one for my dame
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.

Baa Baa Black Sheep
Have you any wool
Yes sir, yes sir
Three bags full."

"Quick, we'll have to escape on foot, they've disabled the car!"

"It's no use, we're surrounded!"

"Who knew when you get kidnapped by a flock of  sheep they make you sing that wretched song over and over and over again!"

"Look out!  Here comes the leader!"

"Baa Baa Black Sheep
Have you any wool
Yes sir, yes sir
Three bags full ...."

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I think you folks will have to admit that this tidy tale of terror rates right up there with the classic horror stories of the great Kz Morano.  Let's hope you never find yourself schlepped away by sheep, or taken on the lam by lambs, or fleeced by the fleecy - or something or other like that - as in my contribution to this week's Friday Fictioneers  based on the picture prompt above.

I wouldn't try to chop my way out either or you'll get a good swift kick by a leg of lamb. Maybe the other Fictioneers have some ideas how to get us all out of this stew. Click here to check it out.

The shear audacity of these sheep!    OMG, it's time to sing everybody .... 

40 comments:

  1. The postscript is almost as funny as the submission itself. You're on form again!

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    1. Thank you, Sandra. But you still have to sing!

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  2. Lol...yup, that was pretty scary.

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    1. You think that's scary? Just use the word "chop" even accidentally in front of one of them!

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  3. Baaad sheep, baaad sheep. :)

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    1. Baaa, Baaa,Baaaad Sheep! Keep your damn wool!

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  4. You, sir, are no K.Z. Morano. You're barely even on par with the pathetic likes of an Adam Ickes. Actually, upon further review, you may be above that guy. Who let him join this group anyway? They should be forced to resign from their make believe position of non-actual authority--or at least tarred and feathered.

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    1. And certainly mudded as well. When it comes to grisly thrills and chills, I don't think anyone equals K.Z. Morano. But that Adam Ickes is a comer! Except whenever I see him a 'comin, I'm a 'goin! But he's young yet ... damn him!

      Thanks for writing, Adam!

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  5. Perry, That was great, postscript and all. : ) More information I never knew: sheep kidnap and force you to sing. We're always learning something new. Well done. : ) ---Susan

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    1. Did you know that Italian sheep force you to sing opera? And Jewish sheep make you watch the Daily Show? There is so much to this!

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  6. Oh, Perry, this was very funny! I'll never hear that song again without thinking of being kidnapped by a flock of sheep, or lambs on the lam or . . . . Thanks for the chuckle

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  7. Make the puns stop! Make the puns stop! Tell me, Clarisse -- have the lambs stopped screaming?

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    1. It isn't me, it's the sheep. Now tell me, Clarisse ... who the fuck is Clarisse?

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  8. I tried counting them, but couldn't keep my eyes open. Are they asking a ransom for you, Perry, or do they just love your singing voice. I can't wait for the album-- Perry "Como" Block sings all your favorite sheep songs.

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    1. I understand if you count Perry Blocks, you fall asleep much sooner. How many sheep songs do you know, Russell, I can only think of one? If any of them are love songs, I don't want to know about it!

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    2. I here some of your dates have fallen asleep after counting only one Perry Block. How about singing us a few bars of "Ooo Baaaby, Baaaby"

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    3. Most of them never seem to want to even get around to counting. And sorry, I only know one song, about sheep.

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  9. Fun. That song would drive anyone mad.

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    1. Yes, Ha - Ha- Ha- Ha!!!!! It already has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  10. The terror of those sheep.. I will have nightmares counting sheep now

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    1. Here I'll get you started: 1 Baaa Baaa, 2 Baaa Baaa, 3 Baaa Baaa, 4 ....

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    2. I'm Baarely awake after 2 nights counting sheep

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  11. Hey Perry - The Baa Baa Black Sheep herd is so yesteryear! I agree with Bjorn & Russell. I have another sheep song that would NOT be considered torture! Sam the Sham and Pharaohs "Woolly Bully" You can listen to it on YouTube - I don't know how to edit it in my piece. oh well - some day I will learn. I don't even know how to get past your security moat below so I write as anonymous. Great story though! Nan :)

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    1. That's exactly what happened, Nan. I was kidnapped by a bunch of Woolly Bullies. And they were singing "Louie, Louie,' from the same time period! (You must have a link feature on Wordpress to edit it in, even I can do that on Neanderthal Blogger.) Thanks for reading!

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    2. I will listen to Sage Rosemary & thyme... so I can eventually sleep. chop chop

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    3. First have your chop, garnished with Sage Rosemary & thyme... and parsley!

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  12. I agree hear that nursery rhyme too many times and then I am like 'frankly my dear I don't give a lamb'. But sometimes ewe take the good with the bad.

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    1. Thanks for writing. I will never lambaste anyone for a few good puns!

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  13. Ouch! That would drive me to kill myself anyway! Good surprise in the story, Perry!

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    1. Thank you! It was sort of a chef's surprise, only without the chef and the dinner being alive.

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  14. Dear Perry,

    Wool done. Baaaaa. Shear magic.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks, Rochelle. I like your jokes better than mine.

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  15. Perry, this is quite the revenge story. I have to tell you that I loooove this song! C'mon, what's not to love? Everyone gets wool and is happy in the end. Just tell the sheep their wool will grow back! I'm sure they will understand.

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    1. Yep, losing their wool is hardly the worst fate they face. No wonder they love that song too! Thanks, Amy.

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  16. Gosh, yes! What a triumph of a tail, though the start and finish were a bit woolly.

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    1. Yes, and I'm very sheepish about that too.

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  17. What an imaginative piece, Perry. I thought of this particular rhyme while researching for my title this week--although I had already written the flash on a different topic. I had no idea that a "black sheep" simply refers to any sheep that isn't completely white.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

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    1. I didn't know that either, so I guess being the black sheep of the family isn't so bad after all. So you and I can relax! Thanks, Marie.

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