Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Mighty Flood




And with a wave of his mighty hand, he hath sent waters to cover the Earth.

And the waters swept away oxen and sheep,  grain and all manner of crops, every type of abode and homestead, and men and women too.

Why hath he done such?  Because he looketh about and did not like what he saw.

"Dang it!" said Big Ed Furley,  Afternoon Superintendent at the County Reservoir. "The setting on Switch No. 3  looked wrong, I pull the switch, and all this happens!"

"How are we ever gonna get all that water back?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's hoping this doesn't offend anyone.  Look at it as newspaper copy written by an overzealous intern of an unfortunate occurrence in a nearby township. Look at it as my contribution to this week's Friday Fictioneers based on the picture prompt above. 

The other mighty Fictioneers offer a flood of other interpretations on the prompt by clicking here.

Here's something that is major news for the overzealous intern to write up:  I brought this baby in at 94 words, a rarity for me.  You can thank Big Ed Furley .... and malfunctioning Switch No.3.

50 comments:

Björn Rudberg said...

Oh darn,.. what a little mistake can do to mankind.. splendidly funny as usual Perry.

janet said...

Good one, Perry. Maybe someone had peed in it and he felt he had to drain all the water out. :-) Still laughing at this. (As far as offending me, I'm not the One you have to worry about!) Haha!

janet

Russell said...

I think I may be related to Big Ed. Every lever or switch I grab always turns out to be the wrong one. I hope you get flooded with comments, Perry.

Silently Heard said...

Creative not offened at all. I can think of some areas a flood my be just the answer.

Perry Block said...

Yes, that's true. I have a feeling that the first time around, just like this one, someone is saying "Ooops!"

Perry Block said...

Maybe someone had peed in it?!!! Now you're offending me!

Perry Block said...

I've heard that your lever usually turns out to be the wrong one!

Perry Block said...

Thank you. Many people have suggested a flood for my blog. Well, here it is!

pattisjarrett said...

Better roll up yer pant legs, it's gettin' deep in here!

Perry Block said...

Pant legs? Don your snorkel gear and then some! Thanks, Patti.

mikefalkner1 said...

I always enjoy reading your posts. You never know what Perry is going to write. I love your humor. This is a good one this week ... a little wet, but good.

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Mike, it's nice to know I have a fan who is not a Fictioneer and not "obligated" to comment. I can tell that your wife by her writing and comments is a very nice person; it comes through. In fact, I'm heading over there to read her post now. Thanks again for the kind words.

P.S. Joshi said...

Perry, Perry, How can we continue to write for Friday Fictioneers if Big Ed floods all our computers. I warned some time back about wetlands. Was Big Ed drinking on the job by any chance as it sounds very suspicious to me. :( Well written. :)

Susan

mezzojan said...

Wow...under 100 words...amazing! And funny, too, of course :-)

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry

Well, that certainly explains a lot. Funny and not offensive.

Shalom,

Rochelle

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Perry,

Nice riff on the wrong switch pull. Loved it.

Aloha,

Doug

Sandra Crook said...

Really made me laugh. :)

Alicia Jamtaas said...

Perry, this was fun! Big Ed Furley will have some explaining to do. Cheers, Alicia

Perry Block said...

No Big Ed just realizes that all our computers have been corrupted and must be cleansed before we start building computers again. Darn that malware! Thanks for writing, Susan

Perry Block said...

Yes, but the next six words would have been REALLY FUNNY!

Perry Block said...

Not offensive? Then I have failed!

Thanks,Rochelle.

Perry Block said...

Glad I didn't offend anyone, although it's been raining for 40 days and 40 nights on my house ...

Perry Block said...

Not me! Big Ed Furley's the funny one. Thanks, Sandra!

Perry Block said...

Cheers back to you, Alicia, I hope you're a strong swimmer. And thanks!

bjdqlandau said...

Not offensive at all, and so much better than the new movie, Noah... from what I hear. I enjoyed this, Perry!

Perry Block said...

Thank you! Yeah, I tried to get Russell Crowe to star in this blog post, but he refused to play Big Ed Furley, he wanted the other role. That and also that we were 50 million dollars apart.

mariegailstratford said...

I've no idea why any rational human being would find this offensive, Perry. I thoroughly enjoyed the romp. I hope Big Ed doesn't lose his position, but I'm sure other opportunities will crop up for such an enthusiastic fellow.

Cheers!
MG

lingeringvisions said...

Shoulda been a sign..."Do Not Touch this Button".

Perry Block said...

I appreciate that, Marie. I'm always a bit apprehensive whenever I reference religion in any way, although I do it. Thanks for romping with me!

Perry Block said...

NOW you tell me!

Subroto said...

Ah ha ha that's such a great twist...what Big Ed Furley hath wrought let no engineer put together..

Patrick Prinsloo said...

Clever piece. Hope Big Ed got some additional training.

Perry Block said...

"And ye shall come to believe in Big Ed Furley."

Thanks for the comment.

Perry Block said...

He would have gotten the training but God was just too busy!

draliman said...

Nice one, Big Ed! I bet this sort of thing happens to him a lot. Very humorous!

Perry Block said...

You're right. Last year, Big Ed unleashed a whole swarm of locusts, then he cut himself and bled all over the water supply, and ...
Thanks for your comment!

dianevolved said...

I can hear Charleton .Heston now. No, the narrator would have to be John Huston. Love biblical humor. I've tried it a few times on both of my blogs but people don't know how to handle it. They don't leave comments because they're terrified of the wrath of Youknowwho. Great. Bring me more. Lucy

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Diane. I will go further (but not too far) in non Fictioneers posts because I know there are some members who are fairly religious. So far this one didn't bother anyone. Here's a cite to one you might like as published in a local blog called the Broad Street Review. Hope you like. http://www.broadstreetreview.com/cross-cultural/go-down-twitter

amyreesewrites.com said...

That's a big oops, Perry! I'm going steer clear of Big Ed. Funny piece, as always.

Perry Block said...

I'd steer clear of him too, Amy. If he decides to unleash a plague of locusts, we're all up the creek!

Healing From Jesus said...

Actually, God is often erroneously accused of causing such death and destruction, and your story points perfectly -- and with just the right amount of innocent humor -- to the need for people to back up and take a second look at what's REALLY going on. Good job.

Perry Block said...

Thank you. Not sure how you found me, but my intent was just to create a laugh or two, not to expound any religious views. But I'm glad you enjoyed it.

karenwhitelaw.com said...

Clever and funny, Perry! And his main worry is how to get the water back in the reservoir. So much power in the hands of people like him is dangerous. Enjoyed the biblical twist.

Perry Block said...

I understand his main concern. It's too late for the oxen and sheep, the dwellings and abodes, and the people. So let's get the water back and enjoy the rest of the day!

Anonymous said...

Perry, you are so funny! This is Nan and if I try to use my WordPress account it won't let me. Anyway - I can use anonymous and leave you feedback. Does this mean that you are a lot older than your picture indicates or that your real name might be Noah and you built a huge boat and you look like that dreamy movie star? Well, good job - very clever and it is humorous too! Great story!!!! Nan :)

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Nan. Yes, all of the above are correct including that I look exactly like Russell Crowe. That's all that matters! Glad you're commenting despite WordPress-Blogger rivalry.

snowlocked said...

I always enjoy your stories, funny little snippets.

Perry Block said...

Thank you! I'll try to keep snipping a few off for you when I can.

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