Sunday, November 17, 2013

Notes on a 400th Post

I still can't believe it!

This is the 400th post of  Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute.

It seems like only four years and 400 posts ago that I began this blog.  Back then never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that one day I'd have written 400 posts and would be just as obscure and unsuccessful as I was right at the beginning!

And yet somehow it all came true.

There are so many people to thank.  First, I have to thank all my fans from the bottom of my heart!  There aren't that many fans at the top of my heart either.

Then I want to thank my high school English teacher Miss Schoendeinst for having had zero interest in me or positive influence upon me such that I am today unable to scribble even the most rudimentary sentence of the most microscopic interest or amusement whatsoever.

Thank you, Miss Schoendeinst!

Finally I'd like to thank my gene pool for providing me virtually no discernible sense of humor such that each and every unfunny post  in this blog has been about as entertaining as spending an evening with Carson Daly.  And I have managed this while being Jewish, despite the fact that most Jewish people are funny! 

As is my custom on anniversary posts (I've now done it twice),  I'd like to answer a few questions that have no doubt been burning in your minds. OMG, your minds are on fire!   I told you to give up smoking nine posts ago!

How did this blog begin?
Actually I was looking for a job in human resources and thought I'd go on Twitter as the funny human resources person. I soon found that image limiting and broadened my humor, which ultimately led to the blog. 

That answer was unfunny.
Odd.  I worked on that one a long time.

The central theme of your blog is the aging angst of the typical Boomer. What do you actually think about the aging process?  
It's the one process for which nobody is ever going to win a Nobel Prize by figuring out how to speed it up.

Do you prefer writing the posts about yourself or the other parodies and satires? 
I can't stand writing them all just the same.

Is the flawed, insecure, and neurotic character you write about actually you?

You use a picture on your blog that's obviously not current. How old is it anyway? 
My picture is nearly ten years old.  If it were a person, it would be masturbating by now. 

Why don't you change it? 
 The day it begins aging instead of me is the day I'll change it.

Why on this night do we eat reclining?
Don't be cute.

You write about how old and terrible you look.  Don't you ever look good?
I look best in a low light.  If you saw me in a graveyard at midnight, then you'd probably want to have sex with me. 

What are some of the advantages of having fewer fans than there are bi-partisan Republicans?
The one major advantage is that I am able to carefully hone and craft my humor writing without the disruptive intrusion of readers.

What's ahead for the blog?
Oh, there are many surprises ahead!  I have no ideas so I expect to be surprised.

Well, we'll be reading!
You have to. You're me.

And for those of you do read Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute who don't have to, thank you! 




injaynesworld said...

Congratulations, Perry. 400 posts is a damn big deal! I started blogging right about the same time you did. Also, a baby boomer, I prefer the term "lifespan-challenged" to old fart. Has anyone ever told you that you kinda look like Seth Meyers? I kinda look like Maureen Dowd. Not that anyone asked. Okay then. I'll be taking my leave now. *waves* Bye.

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Jayne. Yes, we are both lifespan-challenged except I manage to also be an old fart as well. Seth Meyers? Never heard it before but it's flattering as Seth is 23 years my junior which would make him 12. Maureen Dowd? Maybe, but I've got another one for you -- a slightly older Famke Janssen. Here's a link: Don't try to deny it --- it's you! Thanks for writing, Jayne, I enjoy your blog.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on making it to 400, Perry. Oh, now I see that's not your birthday, it's how many posts you've written. ;)

Perry Block said...

SHHHHH!!!.....Nobody is supposed to know it's also my birthday. It's true I look like hell for 270, but you gotta admit: I'm rocking 400!

Carrie Rubin said...

I left a comment, but it vanished. I was wondering if you often hang out in graveyards at midnight, even if it is your best lighting? Apparently, that's where my previous comment went as well.

injaynesworld said...

Wow! As flattering as that is, I regret to inform you that you're also losing your eyesight and suffering from dementia. ;)

Perry Block said...

Actually, that's not so; look at them side by side. By the way, I understand that both Ms. Janssen and Maureen Dowd were thrilled at the comparison with you. See you over at your blog, Famke!

Perry Block said...

I often do hang out in graveyards at midnight but only those with proper ambience. Hopefully your lost comment will come back home, wagging its tail behind it.

Russell said...

Is your skin developing that "prune look" yet? I see you're still using that photo from the early Kodak Kodachrome era (circa 1935). I tried to comment twice on your Friday Fiction post, but evidently those shot straight to the cemetery as well. Is it true that most of the girls there are frigid and smell like dead fish?

Perry Block said...

Most of the girls there are frigid and smell like ...? Stop talking about my girlfriends that way! And my picture is not that old; if you look quite clearly you can see Harry Truman in the background. Hah, that was the forties!

Prune look? Yep, all my own!