Wednesday, November 27, 2013

How Difficult Can It Be? (FF)



FF-Flash Fiction

Made it!  Just made it to the cross channel ferry, climbed on deck with my briefcase, and parked myself at a table facing France.

Hopefully the sea breeze would ward off any attacks of my old nemesis sea sickness, especially on such a short trip. Damn it, no such luck!

A man in a trench coat sat himself across from me.

"Gee, friend, you look green."

I slid the briefcase under the table to him.

Not five minutes later another man approached the table.

"Gee, friend, you look green."

“Please tell me you're a random guy and the other guy my contact.”

“No, I’m your contact.”

Well, how difficult can it be to enrich uranium anyway?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had warned M not to assign me to any duty involving  boats because of my tendency to barf on them, but he took it upon himself to work the whole thing into the mission with a smart-ass passphrase. What can you expect from a guy who goes around calling himself "M" when his real named is Maurice?

This heart-pounding tale of espionage is my 116 word contribution to the Friday Fictioneers based on the prompt above for this week.  Unless you're too nauseous, please enrich yourself, if not uranium, by checking out the work of the many other Fictioneers via a right click right here


Well, how difficult can it be to enrich uranium anyway?  


40 comments:

Björn said...

Ha.. this was very funny. If sea-sickness is too obvious there's always a risk for that random guy.

mezzojan said...

Erm....maybe it's radiation sickness? Anyway, the green Mr. Bond should have a more distinctive password. I've always liked the one Whoopi Goldberg's contact used in Jumpin' Jack Flash: "Dogs barking. Can't fly without umbrella."

But that's just me....

Perry Block said...

Thanks! The poor random guy is now going to be the Toast of Teheran, I think. Hopefully the instructions in the briefcase are for enriching bread, not uranium.

Perry Block said...

Well, we'll try to stay away from any passwords that involve sea sickness, aging angst, and dream girls. That ought to be safe! Thanks, Jan.

kindredspirit23 said...

I think that would be me! lol
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/ff-friday-fictioneers-the-restaurant-at-the-end-pg13-11292013-horror/

Perry Block said...

Probably would, but fortunately for you I got there first.

Sandra Crook said...

Excellent! Very funny indeed.

Perry Block said...

I try. If you were to celebrate Thanksgiving, have a happy one, Sandra!

theeclecticeccentricshopaholic said...

lol very funny :) great story, Perry.

Managua Gunn said...

Superb! Really enjoyed that very much!

Perry Block said...

Thanks, KZ. Hey, feel like enriching uranium together some time?

Perry Block said...

I'm glad you enjoyed since after all, only the fate of the free world is at stake!

Linda Palund said...

Delightful little ferry boat ride. I aways wondered how the spies knew each other and now I know - They don't! I wonder what happens when the first guy opens the briefcase...But in my story, he would be a counter spy and have just saved the world from the likes of you!

Perry Block said...

Yes, but in my story he would have been a bumbling counter spy who thinks he has the recipe for enriching bread and would spend his time trying to blow up the world with Wonderbread. Meanwhile I'm still nauseous and the real spy is turning me over to Edward Snowden to be douche bagged to death! All in a day's work. Happy Holidays!

bridgesareforburning said...

Hi Perry,
Taking a break from writing this week and just reading my favorite writers. This boat does look like a good rendezvous point for spies. Was wondering if you also get carsick, and how are you on roller coasters and horseback? Ron

lingeringvisions said...

This one had me chuckling out loud but seriously, find a better line for something as important as...URANIUM!

tedstrutz said...

Good one, he may not be long for the spy business.

Perry Block said...

If he doesn't get off the boat soon, he may not be long for any business! Thanks, Ted.

Perry Block said...

How about "Gee, Friend, you strike me as kind of neurotic." No, that's no better either!

Perry Block said...

I only get carsick if I try to read in a car. How am I on roller coasters? I don't know because I'm never on roller coasters. I don't get nauseous on horseback but my tuchas feels as if it's been in a fist fight with Mike Tyson. There, Ron. Any more questions?

glossarch said...

Wow! That is *really bad* luck. Nice story!

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

Let me guess. You were a Mad Magazine fan growing up? Could see this as one of their movie parodies. I'm a little nauseated now. Think I'll go....

Shalom,

Rochelle

ironwoodwind said...

Dear Perry,

Me, too nauseous? What are you trying to say? Strunk and White admonished me early on that being nauseous means I have that effect on others.

Mr. Bond's story was humorous and sixteen words too..... Oh, never mind.

Aloha,

Doug

erinleary said...

Poor guy. If he gets seasick on a channel crossing, imagine if he ever went on an ocean vessel. Bad times ahead for that spy.. ER, I mean , guy.

Perry Block said...

Yeah, it's kind of too bad for the entire free world. At least I'm not nauseous anymore.

Perry Block said...

Mad Magazine? They copy from me! Now, if you don't mind, I've some uranium to enrich.

Perry Block said...

Personally I never found Strunk and White all that funny. I love that Niagara Falls bit though!

Thanks, Doug.

Perry Block said...

If he went on an ocean crossing and hung over the side, you can forget about global warming as the major threat to the planet. Thanks, Erin!

jwdwrites said...

Great piece Perry, very funny. :)

K.D. McCrite said...

Perry, you are so funny. And so is your writing.

Perry Block said...

Thank you so much! You are the random person, right? Not the agent?

Perry Block said...

Thank you, kd. That's because the writing and I are engaged!

thebumblefiles said...

Perry, as soon as someone tells me I look green, that's the end for me. Way to go for M to hang in there. Great job, Mr. Funny.

Perry Block said...

You look green. No, actually you don't. Mr. Funny signing off.

elmowrites said...

Oh no! A nice giggle for my Monday morning, Perry, particularly the riff on M and the characters' deadpan reaction to disaster.
I think there's a typo - slide for slid, as the rest is in past tense?

Russell said...

This is very funny, Perry. I'm green with envy.
That's what everyone tells me about writing - how hard can it be anyway?

Atreyee said...

Ha!ha!I am sure now the new colour will be white;-)A wonderful fun story Perry:-)

Perry Block said...

Fixed it, thank you. Yes, why worry about global nuclear destruction?

Perry Block said...

That's what everyone tells me about something else.
Thanks, Russell.

Perry Block said...

Thank you, thank you, but I'm still green!