Friday, March 1, 2013

This Bad This Fast


"My God, sir!  I never thought it could have gotten this bad this fast!"

"Well, the question is:  can we clean her up for what we're planning to do with her?"

"No way, sir!  It would take years.  We'll have to start from scratch on a new one."

"Then start from scratch we will.  You know,  I have a new-found respect for the guy, scenery chewing and obvious hair piece notwithstanding."

"You're right, sir.  Ten years after Captain Kirk steps down, who'd ever expect the Enterprise to look like this?!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Picture prompt above, story below, 90 words and I'm under the limit!  I've boldly gone where no Schizophrenic Blogger has ever gone before as well as returned to humor after last week's sojourn in Alfred Hitchcock Presents, yet another vintage TV program.  

This is my week's contribution to the Fabulous Friday Fictioneers and Flying Federation Starship Society. Click here for lots more from lots of talented folk. 

Live Long and Prosper, dudes.  And beam me out of here, Scotty!    

52 comments:

Sandra Crook said...

:) Inspired take on the prompt! Boldly done.

nightlake said...

this was good:) and an interesting title:)

Managua Gunn said...

Ha ha!Brilliant!! What insight there!

greenwalledtower said...

Right on the mark, I'm sure. Boldly clunking and banging where no one has gone before. :)

Trudy said...

That's funny! I never would have seen the Enterprise in that photo - but I see it now!

EL Appleby said...

Made me laugh out loud! Great stuff!

janet said...

The solution: beam it somewhere to a galaxy far, far away!

janet

Anonymous said...

Where no man has gone before....good job, Perry Block! Joy Ross Davis

Beth said...

Awesome take on this. I'll have to add your story to those I'll hand deliver to the, er, "car" owner. It runs. I've seen it in two parking lots. Funny stuff!

Shirley said...

That was so cute. I'm not a big Star Trek fan, but who doesn't know about the Enterprise?

Ann Isik (Poetic Mapping) said...

You never know what may be masquerading as what, do you? I'm a Trekkie. I can see this developing into a Trekkie film script. Or at least a spoof one. Keep writing! Of course, 'beaming' is a very economical way of travelling around. This is no gas-guzzler! :)

Russell said...

I can hear Scotty cursing from the engine room. "Cap'n Block, if I giving her all she can take, any more she's bound to blow"

carolynpageabc said...

Oh, I love this..! The last line is brilliant... :)

thebumblefiles said...

Very inspiring, Perry. I enjoyed this. Yes, start over, there's nothing left!

Brudberg said...

I would like to see Spock at the helm of that Enterprise. :-)

lingeringvisions said...

To some, I believe you may have just committed blasphemy.

bridgesareforburning said...

Hi Perry,
Beam me up Scotty. I don't care if the engines can't take it. Actually in the Priceline commercials, Captain Kirk is now driving a nice little sports job. He makes Spock drive the old car. Ron

silentlyheardonce said...

Oh my what have they done to the enterprise? :lol:

marie bo said...

good one

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Kepten, I can't hold her any longer. She's going to blow! For sale...only one owner. You beamed me up for a unique take on the prompt.
Shalom,
Rochelle

trainswhistle said...

your sense of humor is priceless. another good one Perry. I really enjoyed the ending and the part about the hair piece.

sunshine said...

ouch. time and deterioration never waits for no man...as we see here. love your fun story.

brainsnorts said...

i always love a good shatner joke. well done.

help me out - i don't know what you mean by "scenery chewing." is that from a specific episode?

also, "notwithstanding" i think should be two words.

bwfiction said...

Scotty.... I need more power!!!!

As a trekkie, maybe now I can get a life, ( or buy the enterprise and drive around in it )

Perry Block said...

Thank you. Easy as she goes!

Perry Block said...

Thanks! Who'd have suspected Shatner was such a good housekeeper?

Perry Block said...

Brilliant? Now we've got to rebuild an entire new Enterprise for "Next Generation!"

Perry Block said...

Yeah, frankly I'd have given the original a second shot. Sure would have suckered a lot of Klingons into underestimating the Federation.

Perry Block said...

I can't not see it now! And I can see Shatner's toupee right across the front seat.

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Bones!

Perry Block said...

Checking Craig's List for the best one right now ...

Perry Block said...

No man with a bottle of Windex anyway.

Perry Block said...

Beth, thanks for the fun prompt!

Perry Block said...

Now that will know about it in junk yards throughout the United States!

Perry Block said...

Well, come to think of it I had kind of a fantasy of getting Dr. Beverly Crusher into the back seat of that jalopy, but I don't think that'll play well for another series. I'll keep at it!

Perry Block said...

And I was just in the mood for a double entendre right about now, Russell. Thank you!

Perry Block said...

Thanks ... wait, does that mean the rest of it sucked?

Perry Block said...

Yep, and for warp speed travel I think that coffee cup would spill.

Perry Block said...

I tried, but Nimoy just wants too damn much to appear in blogs anymore. Even more in costume ...

Perry Block said...

Uh-oh. And I am a true Shatner-fearing person!

Perry Block said...

Ironically Scotty is driving the junker these days. He's actually afraid to "beam up" himself and prefers to drive.

Perry Block said...

Bad ratings from the first series led to this. Anymore every cast member is preserved in amber.

Perry Block said...

Thanks. Always a first time.

Perry Block said...

Other than this, the only place I boldly go is to take out the garbage.

Perry Block said...

Thank you. Is is "priceless.com?"

I know. That joke has undone any good I've ever done!

Perry Block said...

Or woman. We both deteriorate equally as well!

Perry Block said...

"Chewing the Scenery" is slang for over-the-top acting, something William Shatner is famous for.

No matter - we still love him!

Perry Block said...

No, none of us will ever have much of a life.

It's more fun hanging with these guys than real people. And the make-up jobs on them are so much better!

40again said...

Great story and at 90 words, you boldly go where not-many-of-us-have-been-yet.
Still smiling...
Dee

Perry Block said...

No? I thought I saw you there already packing up from the "clear out" and moving on!

Thanks for writing.

Leslie said...

oh my The Enterprise is being junked???

must have been the rusted shopping cart baskets

Nice fiction

Perry Block said...

No doubt. The four rattling wheels at the bottom are a dead giveaway!

Thanks, Leslie.