Friday, March 15, 2013

Lilies, or the Seduction




No, Jimbo hadn't lied.  His apartment was fantastic with a dynamite view of the city, sumptuous furnishings, and for the next 48 hours, mine all mine! He'd even left sweet smelling fresh cut lilies on the window sill. 

"Hope you like my place," I said, turning the key at 2:00 A.M. 

"Love it!" she squealed. "What did you say you do again?"

"I'm a risk arbitrager. Or arbitrary risker, something like that.  Now how about we get ...."

"OH, NO, LILIES!  I'm very allergic!"

"Well, we'll just get rid of them then!"

"AHHH-CCCHHHOOO!!!  No, once I'm exposed, I'm a mess for the next 48 hours!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Picture prompt above, story below, and at 107 words I'm not too far off the pace of 100 this week and nowhere near as far off the pace as I was with the abortive seduction of some years past sadly recounted herein.

This is my weekly contribution to the Fabulous Flying Friday Fictioneers and Lily Lover Legionnaires Association. Click the link when you're ready to spend 48 hours or so enjoying the posts of the other Fictioneers/Legionnaires, each and every one of which is nothing to sneeze at.

Sorry, got to go now.  I've a lot of arbitrary risking to do if I'm ever going to afford my own place like this!

35 comments:

nightlake said...

all his planning in vain. and Jimbo is actually the risk arbitrageur or arbitrary risker? an interesting thought for the prompt

Sandra Crook said...

Ha! Just desserts. Nicely done Perry.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Methinks the man needs to get his pickup lines in order aside from the lily faux paus, that is. Funny.
shalom,
Rochelle

Perry Block said...

Don't know what Jimbo does; Perry is just trying to impress what's-her-name with whatever supposedly high flying profession he can think of at the moment.

Damn those lilies!

Perry Block said...

Just desserts? I didn't get my dessert!

Perry Block said...

Of course, this happened some years ago. My pick-up lines are much better now.

At least I know now that the position is definitely called arbitrary risker ...

June O'Hara said...

Lillies make me throw up. Ok, they don't. It just seemed a fitting thing to say.

Very cool flash fiction. Nice job!

Perry Block said...

Thank you, June. After a lifetime of misadventures like this, boy do I need a good shrink!

Tom Poet said...

Perry,
I hate when that happens! Better luck next time!

Tom

Russell said...

Dear Perry,
Once again, romance was not in the cards. Perhaps you should just forget romance and take up cards. Have some guys over, order a pizza, pick up a case of beer and some cigars. A little cigar smoke will teach those damn lilies to mess with your lovelife.

janet said...

I want to know why everyone assumes this story is about you??? :-) Enjoyed it, no matter who the main liar, I mean, character is. The risk caught up with him. And I love the name "Jimbo", which is perfect for this story.

janet

Dobson said...

He didn't assess the risk of the lilies I guess. You never know what will be the downfall of such carefully laid plans.

silentlyheardonce said...

He gets what he deserves. Good story.

wmqcolby said...

OUCH!!! Oh, OUCH!!!! Perry, my man, I haven't seen a scene that put SO much of a damper on things since Karen Allen's line in Animal House, "I'm only thirteen!"

EL Appleby said...

HI Perry
This one made me laugh - I'm allergic to pretty much everything so I empathise with the girl in your story!

lingeringvisions said...

Haha..that’s what you get, you scoundrel!

Brudberg said...

I wonder if his friend was playing him a prank... that was a great story.

Perry Block said...

Yeah, me too! Funny, that sort of thing seems to happen to me a lot ...

Perry Block said...

Yeah, that sounds pretty good, but then I turn on TV and there's some gorgeous newsbabe or hot actress and I think "why can't a balding 62 year old guy with not a lot of money who writes a blog that nobody reads" nail her, and I'm off and running again.

Just play a few hands for me and I'll be back soon ...

Perry Block said...

Well, the story didn't actually happen of course, but the characterization of inept me trying to carry out seductions (even at a much younger age) is pretty much on point. And yes, I did pick the name Jimbo as a nickname for someone who's pretty cool with the ladies.

Perry Block said...

I manage to come up with my own unique downfall for pretty much any plans I lay. (Oooops! Poor choice of words there.)

Perry Block said...

No, he does not!

Lora's ~ Journal said...

Hm....I would be suspicious of his drama. I've heard of plant allergies but never from Lilies...ah, well. A fun read.

bwfiction said...

where's the benydryl when you need it ? It made me smile.

bwfiction said...

I had to come back, this reminds me of a true story from long ago where a friend borrowed a fancy car for a date, but on the way to pick up the girl he ran over a skunk.

No parking in that car.

Perry Block said...

Karen Allen is one of my most longstanding failed fantasies. Thanks for bringing it all together!

Perry Block said...

Empathize with her? You're supposed to empathize with me!

Perry Block said...

Scoundrel? No, it's would-be scoundrel!

Perry Block said...

That would be just like that damn Jimbo to hire a bogus woman to pretend to like me and come back with me to his apartment and then feign incredible allergies to lilies!

Think he got the idea from the plot of Vertigo.

Perry Block said...

I dunno. Since then I've kind of avoided lilies too!

Perry Block said...

Don't you remember? I told you that story. That happened to me too!

Winter December said...

this has been my best read so far with last week's picture! Nice!

Perry Block said...

That's a comment for all seasons! Thank you.

babaamor said...

LOLLL!!! Darn! I feel for him!

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