Thursday, January 3, 2013

A Date with That Guy

A date with that guy?  Tonight even?

Eileen had recently met one Perry Block and since he seemed nice she said yes to his faltering invitation.  True, he was kind of old, kind of bald, and any looks he'd had must have been long in the rear view mirror, but why not?

He arrived at nine. Three or so hours later, her world was rocked!

Explosions!  Fireworks! Yes, the Earth damn near moved! 

Perry had gotten Eileen in the sack that night well before twelve o'clock! 

By dropping her off about 10:30 because of her "headache," so she could go to bed early.

It was New Year's Eve.


Picture prompt above, story below, 101 words . ... well, yeah, the story's kind of  a cheat and maybe a bit obvious,  but I couldn't resist.  Probably better than if I'd given you a story about The Honeymooners or Love American Style, which might have been a bit long ago and far away except for Boomers who remember such things.

For more about this weeks Fabulous Flyin' Fantasy Fictioneers' offerings,  please click on the page of our very explosive leader, one Rochelle Wisoff Fields

The Earth will move for you too. 


Tom Poet said...

I know your angle and you work it so well. Classic Perry!


Perry Block said...

I thought I might have some of you fooled that I am ... ahem ... "big man on campus," but you guys are so on to me already.

Thanks for writing, Tom.

tedstrutz said...

Oh come on Perry... you're not that old yet. Shouldn't have Yodeled on that date, I'm thinking... cute story.

I think you are missing a 't' in your first line... after the Eileen and before the Perry.

Perry Block said...

Yes, caught the "t" and thank you, Ted.

Yes, I am that old, but of course the story itself is wholly fictional! In reality, you can bet that a dude like me would ... probably not have gotten the date in the first place.

Sandra Crook said...

She'll never know what she was missing. Certain of it. Nice one Perry.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha this made me laugh so hard. well, whatever, you rocked my world with this one! ^^

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Perry,

Your construction of this story was damn near perfect. It's not easy to make the lines flow so effortlessly. I enjoyed this New Year's tale immensely.



Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,
I'm still laughing that he got her to bed by 12:30 by dropping her off. Hahahahahaha. But I think you're way to obsessed with your age. As you know my philosophy is "Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional." In which case, you're a mere adolescent.

Anonymous said...

okay, I thought the idea was funny, too but please look at the math, picking her up at 9, the three hours later; I think Rochelle had it right that you meant to type 12:30 instead of 10:30.

janet said...

My favorite line in the hilarious piece: "any looks he'd had must have been long in the rear view mirror." I enjoyed this immensely. We were opposite types this week.

Hope your new year is off to a better start. :-)

Perry Block said...

No, no, no!

"He got her into the sack by 12:00" means that she got to bed by 12:00 because he brought her home before then --- in this case, 10:30 PM.

She was therefore home in time to experience the fireworks --- most likely on TV --- alone in her bed. That's when her world was rocked, by fireworks not by him.

I do 'em and explain 'em.

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Janet. I actually thought of that expression after I originally posted the piece and added it later.

In a strange way I thought your piece was funny with its twist ending that "fire works." Black humor, to be sure, but making us not opposites.

Perry Block said...

She won't know what she's missing of course, ha, ha, ha! Poor girl!

What is she missing?


Perry Block said...

That's what I'm into --- rocking people's worlds!

That is, making them nauseous.

Glad you liked.

Perry Block said...

It would have been better if Eileen had enjoyed immensely, but "immensely" was nowhere in the equation.

Thanks for the kind words, Douglas.

Perry Block said...

I've often been told that mentally I'm a mere adolescent.

Yes, I could give up being obsessed by age but then there goes my act!

Thanks, Rochelle.

Jazzbumpa said...

Love your sense of humor, man. Your profile in the sidebar is a hoot.

Fun story. Poor Perry never participates?

Pretty sure I have a few years on you, being a leading edge boomer, vintage 1946. My motto is "What I lack in youth, I make up for with immaturity."


Russell said...

I can imagine how poor Eileen felt with her date napping between courses at dinner and losing his teeth in the wine glass. No wonder she faked a headache and asked to be taken home. Did you make it back to the rest home before curfew?

Unknown said...

hahaha...nicely done.

train-whistle said...

oh, I enjoyed this one. I liked the rearview mirror line as well.

Perry Block said...

Thanks for stopping by and for the nice comment.

Yes, you have four years on me, but that's okay. I always respect my elders, especially the wholly immature ones.

Welcome to the Fabulous Fictioneers!

Perry Block said...

No, I didn't. I'm still wandering around aimlessly, thankful at least that I wore my extra large Depends.

Where the hell are my damn teeth?!

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Boomie!

I try.

Perry Block said...

Turns out that afterthought throw-away line was the hit of the piece.

Go figure, and thanks!

Anonymous said...

Hi Perry,
Not that old excuse. You wouldn't want a woman who couldn't come up with a better, more creative lie to reject you. You should aspire to women who are more inventive in coming up with ways to dump you. Ron

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

It's not that I don't want to spend the night with you Perry, but I really do need to clean my fish tank.

Anonymous said...

this sentence: By dropping her off about 1o:30 because of her headache. something is missing, or i'm missing something grammatically. help me out please! and i clearly remember "love american style." i didn't totally get it, but i always watched it. well done.

billgncs said...

Perry -- I am sure that being in the presence of greatness just tired her out. There's always next year!

Perry Block said...

I like the old tried and true methods of being dumped, such as "it's not you, it's me."

Frankly, however, I'm well aware that mostly it actually is me because there's no way 8,457 chicks have rejected me lifetime because "it was them."

Perry Block said...

But I remember the Honeymooners too. That is, when it was first on!

Yes, grammatically the sentence is a fragment but it modifies how it was Perry "got" her in bed by 12:00.

Perry Block said...

Next year?

That hardly gives me time to work up the courage to ask for another date!

Thanks for writing.

Parul said...

Perry, if she was not charmed by your intelligence and humor she was a lost cause.
Happy New Year! :)

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Parul.

Oddly enough, she used the same term "lost cause" right after I came to her house to pick her up. Can't imagine why.

Thanks for writing.

Anonymous said...

You certainly fooled me, and entertained me.