It's A Shambles! (FF)

FF- Friday Fictioneers

© Shaktiki Sharma

“I thought this place was going to be ready, Farnum.  It's a shambles!"

"You're right, Kropotkin! Those two new men I hired came highly recommended.  They were supposed to be expert builders and craftsman."

"Yeah, but who recommended them? Donald Trump's doctor?"

"No. But it was the same guy who green lighted Batman v. Superman."

"Well, let's get busy, Farnum, at least we've got to clean up and paint before the boss get here."

“I think I see the problem, Kropotkin.  Those two paddles on the floor."

"Air hockey paddles!  There must be a table nearby."

"Shall we?"

“Why not?  After all, Dr. Bornstein recommended us!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, with how laissez-fair Trump's doctor is, I might hit him up for a recommendation myself.  I would love to be known as the greatest humorist who was ever elected President because frankly that Warren G. Harding was supposed to be the Sarah Silverman of his time.

I've been away from Friday Fictioneers a while (Oh.  You didn't notice?  Oh. Who the fuck am I?) Well, anyway, I'm glad to see the other Fictioneers,  and here for your enjoyment are all their contributions based on the picture prompt above.

Meanwhile, I wonder what's going on in the Air Hockey Game.  After all these two are the greatest air hockey players the world has ever known!

Trading My Muse

The Muse

                                                 Decidedly Not Mine, However                                                 

Most writers have a muse that dwells within them and provides them with a host of new and exciting ideas to inspire and enhance their writing. I have a muse that dwells mostly within my refrigerator and provides me with a host of new and exciting ideas that would be rejected by My Weekly Reader.

"Muse! Muse!"  I hollered. "Where are you? I haven't had a post accepted by the Broad Street Review in months!"

"Yeah, I’m aware of that, Boss. You know, I’m kind of annoyed you're not living up to my high standards as a muse."

"Living up to your standards?  The best idea you've given me in the last six months was a television show featuring a panel of chefs who cook for senior citizens called The Gum."

“Shows about food are very popular, Boss."

“Yeah, I've noticed food is very popular with you too.  It flies out of this house like it's being chased by ISIS.”

"I'm a growing muse, Boss.  I'm only 2,420 years old.  That's 14 in Muse years."

"Well, good luck with puberty. And another thing: the idea you gave me about a spoof of a Facebook page for Director David Lynch tanked as badly as Chevy Chase's career.”

“What are you saying?  Are you telling me people on the internet don’t love posts about vomit and children who look like spermatozoa?” 

"It was my worst post since The Pure Joy of Macroeconomics, which by the way, you gave me as well."

"Boss, did it ever occur to you that you're not very copacetic to work for?"

"I'll remember that the next time I let you borrow the car and you turn up two weeks later in Tijuana hugging a donkey."

"Know what, Boss? That's it! I wanna be traded!"

"Traded?! They have trading in the muse world?"

"Of course they do.  I myself was formerly the muse to Lucy Maud Montgomery who wrote the Anne of Green Gables novels." 

"You were responsible for Anne of Green Gables?!!"

"Nah, I told her to write pornography.  Next day I was traded."

"Well, to whom do you want to be traded now?"

"James Michener, Jack London, or William Saroyan."

"But all those guys are dead!"

"Of course they are.  At this stage of the game, I really don't want to work all that hard."

"Okay, Muse,  I'm contact some of the writers I know on Facebook and Twitter and see if I can work out a deal."

"Fair enough.  Do you think you could  trade me to someone who uses the Oxford Comma. I hate it when a guy writes:  'I brought dinner, Grandmom and a turkey.'”

“Well, you may have to settle. Let's just hope Grandmom tastes half as good as the turkey!”

"Okay, Boss.  And one more thing: please hurry!"

“Why's that, Muse?”

“Trading deadline is Monday."

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~