If there’s one thing that I intensely dislike — along with Trump, Nazis, and cheese — it’s when people refer to Boomers as being so many “years young.”
Some Boomers don't seem to mind it.
I hate that they don't!
There’s no better way to indicate that somebody ain’t young than by calling them “years young.” I suppose it's meant to fondly acknowledge that the beloved recipient of such appellation has reached a certain chronological milestone without prior acceptance into the nearest glue factory.
But to me it's more in the nature of
“Hey, look, that guy is crumbling before our very eyes!”
Where did such expression hail from? I believe it was developed in a laboratory staffed with 35-year-old scientists tasked with developing an expressive incentive for shaming Chuck Grassley into resigning from the Senate.
But “years young” is far from the only older-age trope that stokes my ire.
1) “Spry”
Yep, many people might call a Boomer “spry” when they’re amazed that they can get up out of a chair and stand up erect.
Frankly, I’ve been standing up erect since I was 47, when the drugs wore off.
2) The song “Ooh La La”
Originally performed fifty years ago by 28-year-old Rod Stewart and Faces, it has been seized upon by virtually every advertiser attempting to reach Boomers because its lyrics seem to bespeak an older person reflecting on life.
I wish I knew then what I know now
When I was younger
I wish I knew what I know now
When I was stronger.
A song about regret? Great fun at age 75.
Does it make me want to buy whatever they're selling?
First, you better talk me off this ledge.
3) “Aging in Place”
To me, this expression reeks heavily of Miss Havisham and related negative connotations.
When I lived in an apartment in Boston for three years in my twenties, I was aging in place too.
So do we need it? Everybody got to be aging someplace!
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4) The Nervive Commercial
“Sometimes stairs can bring worry,” says the nervous Nervive doctor at the top of the stairs.
Considering that he's being compensated for his time and comments — and the frequency with which this commercial airs — it's more likely that “Sometimes stairs can bring wealthy.”
I'd be willing to fall down the stairs for what I bet he's making.
5) “Feisty”
It’s a term often applied to an older person who is surprisingly spirited and opinionated. Never to a 35 year old similarly situated.
Call me “feisty” and I'm likely to hit you with my cane!
Not that I have one, but I'd be willing to acquire one just for that purpose.
There are many more annoying ageist tropes, but we'll save them for another day — when I'm even older.
But for now, should you be fortunate enough to still have grandparents, think twice before you say "Pop, Pop! You're now 84 years young.!"
Before you find yourself disinherited.
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If you liked this post, you might also like "They Given You a Number and Taken Away Your Name."
If you hated this post, well, I still hope nobody ever refers to you as "years young." See, I can be magnanimous sometimes!
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