Thursday, April 5, 2018

High Tech Promotion in the Year of Perry Block

This year, 2018, is the Year of Perry Block.

This is the year that my book Perry Block-Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute is destined to be a ginormous success.

At present it is only a normous success. Or perhaps a gin success. To achieve the highly coveted ginormous status, extensive marketing will be necessary and in this regard I am lucky.  I have at my disposal the most high tech tools  available to accomplish this purpose. 

And I have been employing them all.

Last Saturday I arose early and scoured the house to collect a bunch of pushpins and flyers promoting the book.

My mission:
To blanket the city! To spread the word!
To roll over Beethoven and tell Tchaikovsky the news.

I then posted them on bulletin boards all over Bala-Cynwyd PA. Must have been 3-4 of 'em!

Watch those sales abound!

Next I sought to establish direct contact with the reading public. But how to get people to pay attention to me in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the city, especially during the bustle, which is generally between 5:00 P.M.and 7:30 PM except during the weekends.

So yesterday I put on a chicken suit & handed out flyers on a street corner in Center City Philadelphia.  A lot of people took flyers and only a few of them made that weird circling motion with their index fingers at the side of their

What does that gesture mean anyway?

Tossing witticisms from my beak, a crowd of people gathered around me. Sensing a man of sophistication and letters, many posed salient and thoughtful questions to me about the literary arts, to wit:
  • Would you recommend using paprika and basil when cooking you for Sunday dinner?
  • How did you manage to actually write a book between feedings,  poopings, and having sex with female chickens?
  • Bwark ... Bwark ... Bwark,  Bwark, Bwark????

Now feeling secure that I could garner attention without my chicken suit
I traveled into town next day dressed in my own clothing.I engaged in further literate communication with multiple passersby and no doubt about it, enthusiasm and excitement about Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute reached fever pitch! 

Many other authors would quit here, but I am hardly done.  There are potential readers everywhere that I must reach. 

And I will seek them out wherever they may be!

Image result for landing on Mars

Yes, I am fated for ginormous success. 

And watch out friends, an enormous chicken may soon be coming for you!


If you liked this post, I hope you have ginormous success in your life. If you hated this post, I hope you have ous success.  Or maybe no better than gi!


Russell said...

Send the chicken on down. We love chicken in Arkansas.
If I'd known you going to all the trouble on the hi-tech promotion I would have sent you some extra push pins and a few flyers of my own. I would try your technique in Springdale (self-proclaimed chicken capitol of the world), but first I have to find somebody who knows how to read.

Perry Block said...

I understand not only do you guys love chicken in Arkansas, you REALLY love chicken in Arkansas. So maybe I'll stay here. As for high tech promotion, I offer this technique for your help in promoting your book. There are even more: talking to plants, shouting "read the damn book!" in a crowded theater, and wearing a pin that says "Kiss Me, I'm Jewish But Sexy Nonetheless."